We have an appointment with DK! :-)

[snowgirl29]

Very surprised (pleasantly!) at efficiency of her team. Emailed a while ago. Got a reply asking for details of problems etc. Sent off. Didn't hear anything for a wee while. Emailed again. PA assured me that DK was on AL and would be in touch shortly once she'd triaged the referrals. I was told there would be a long wait. Emailed back today with an appointment for next month! Very pleased but also very nervous.

Been fobbed off many times through the NHS and school system. Anyone who has seen DK. How much weight does she apply to school reports? Part of the reason we've had such a woeful time is because of Schools insistence that he is 'absolutely fine'. (depends what your definition of fine is!)
Are we going to be forking out this fee just to be told the same thing?

[2boysnamedR]

Yes it's hard to find these good schools. My vicar recommended our village school. However when I visited the senco was telling me they had one statemented child per class. She said my ds would fail there. A child with severe needs is joining. I asked who they meet his needs - they would fail him.

I felt I was being put off as they "failed" ofsted this year and didn't want more sen kids rocking the boat.

My ds has head above water in his ms school who try hard but just are not geared up to understand. However they want more from him than just failure.

[snowgirl29]

Small update for those following this thread. I've bit the bullet and put in for a change of schools for both DD and DS.
After a good talk with my family (the functional side of it) and realising both are deeply unhappy. I applied once again to have them moved. It stemmed from an incident DD had which I can't say as it's too 'obvious' on a public forum iykwim?
It's made me realise how bad and flippantly we've been treated. We don't see DK for a few weeks but I'm just enjoying the sum hols for now.

[snowgirl29]

About right Polter Goose. DS was kept in at lunchtime only a few weeks ago. In his own words to me "because I kept on pinching people". Yeh. Sounds like an absolute angel at school

[snowgirl29]

Bilberry what the School? Shocking isn't it they've always been like this.
New camhs lady is on my side. Has assessment the other week and told me no mental issues present etc. She thinks it's a symptom of something else. (hallelujah!)

Rang the school up and got the whole "Ds is fine. He's not a problem and mum is just neurotic". Camhs lady told them it doesn't matter. That the behaviours very real to me at home and they need to start helping support me more with it and told them all she wants a big meeting with them in September

[Bilberry]

Sound quite defensive to me snowgirl.

[snowgirl29]

You should have seen the report DSs School sent back! It was shocking. Just one word answers like 'Ds functions well'. When asked how he was outside a classroom environment, ie playtime and lunchtime "Snowgirl801 has always had trouble bringing DS to school". Well yes that's true but it's not what the form asked you

[snowgirl29]

Hi Dopey please pm me also.

Sorry everyone. I've only just caught up with this. Well. SENCO was right put out that I Was going private. To the extent of bringing the school counsellor in to the caf meeting (again not previously informed) to patronisingly tell me that they have concerns I'm going private. .

birdy if your DCs Nursery / School is on your side. Believe me that is half the battle already won.

Thankyou Polter

[ShadyMyLady]

I'm interested to know why Dopey, only because we had a positive experience with her and got the outcome we expected.

If you don't want to put it on here you can PM me.

[2boysnamedR]

Sorry to hear that dopey, I found it quite good. It was in itself refreshing to have someone even read my sons notes.

His NHS pead was debating diagnosing him with something he was diagnosed with on the NHS two years ago. She herself has written that dx on his notes about ten times.

Getting answers is like pulling your teeth out. I liked DK and was surprised she doesn't think my son has ASD but at the same time I don't doubt her as she kept referring back to his historic notes.

[DopeyDawg]

it was not as positive as is often portrayed here.

[ShadyMyLady]

What do you mean by 'different'?

[DopeyDawg]

We had a 'different' experience with DK which I am happy to share by pm if anyone is interested?

[BirdingWidow]

You've all been really helpful and kind, I am on the edge of tears all the time but it is good to know I am not alone (I don't know any parents in RL who have been through this).

[AngelicaM]

Bird, I think it's the first of many bitter sweet moments, I went in all guns blazing to argue my case to find no one had any doubts?! I was knocked for six by seeing the sympathy in the first paed's eyes when I thought he'd think I was crazy. It's so hard, but you'll feel so much better for moving things forward! Good luck x

[2boysnamedR]

Can relate to feeling to be listened too yet devastated that it should be listened to

[BirdingWidow]

Called the HV today. She really listened, said there is cause for concern and is going to refer us to the diagnostic clinic. She is also coming to visit us this week. I feel both better (to be taken seriously) and worse (to be taken seriously!) but know that I need to do this for my beautiful DS. Thanks so much to those who responded

[AngelicaM]

Just to say quickly as doing bedtime that I would try and get back in touch with a HV, you can do GP too, ours just got our HV to contact us when we raised concerns, personally found HV a lot more use than GP, until they're 5 they're under HV care as I understood it here. Good luck xxx

[BirdingWidow]

Thank you so much 2Boys. I have no idea about HV, not seen one since DS had his 1-yr check (and that was the first time since DS was about a week old). We have a nice GP, I will go to see her once nursery have told me their concerns properly (we were about to go away on hols so it was a brief opportunistic meeting - need to follow up this week now we are back). I have been documenting what I observe about DS for that consultation but main thing is lack of conversation - he has ample language skills but just recites stories / Thomas episodes verbatim, does not relate to us other than issuing instructions. ot has just hit me like a ton of bricks that other than adding to his vocabulary, that hasn't progressed for about a year. And lots of repetitive and obsessive behaviour. And a whole load of other details. I will follow your advice, many thanks, and may also start a thread asking for some positive perspectives because I am feeling really devastated and just want to hold onto the joy I have always had in him. It's hard when you feel the rug being pulled out from under

[2boysnamedR]

How's your health visitor birding ?

Try to get the nursery to write a list of concerns to take to your gp or health visitor. Ask them to refer you to the pead ( ideally a nhs one from the link above, if not you need a developmental peadiatrition or neuro developmental pead).

Now your list from nursery might be depressing but try not to worry. It's to highlight possible problems. You dc has many lovely qualities but remember that's not the pead will worry about

I could be a phase too. Three is hard work! But no harm in getting it checked out.

Stick around for help here if want / need it

[BirdingWidow]

Thank you so much, that is really helpful. I have had my concerns for a while but have just had 'the talk' from nursery that puts together the social problems he is exhibiting there with the other aspects of his behaviour that I see at home. I am feeling devastated and scared, just need to get started on the process to see what we are up against.

OP, I hope that your appointment gets you the answers you are looking for, and I am sorry for derailing your thread!

[2boysnamedR]

www.autism.org.uk/directory/browse/cid=52~aid=254.aspx

[2boysnamedR]

Daphne Keen. She works for St George's but a few of us have paid to see her privately after getting fed up with the NHS route.

Hopefully you won't need to go private. My three year old was diagnosed on the NHS by a neuro developmental pead. Look on the NAS website, there is list of doctors who can diagnose in each area. I would start by asking to be reffered to your area person on the list. One moment I will post the link