does anyone else not really like home visits?

[GettaWound]

Not to the point where I'd refuse one but I do secretly dislike them and wish we could meet at the clinic. For early years round here it's a definite thing. I understand for some difficulties home visits are important, but it's so intrusive. I feel quite under the microscope at times, house and me. A little irrational maybe, but I just like my space.

Dd now has hearing aids, which also involves home visits. They have a lovely local clinic and I do wish they'd meet there. I appreciate the offer, but I feel checked over.

I'm irrational and I wouldn't say anything... but being honest, does anyone else feel the same? It's a pressure to be all round perfect I guess with my other children I shut the door and indulged in some messy days or lazy parenting at times and that was our private family space. Suddenly being an "additional needs" parent the standard got higher than for others, it's additional stress. I'm still a working mum juggling a number of children and didn't morph into supermum once the child development tea met us, I feel quite embarrassed missing coffee mornings and groups then explaining it. But we need income, and I do support dd in similar well planned ways.

A moan I know, just looking for understanding!

[cansu]

I also hate them. I think there are lots of expectations of parents who have children with special needs. I am expected to be at home primarily, judging by the appointments I am offered. I am expected to want lots of strangers in my home. I think we are also expected to be better than average. I think that I cope well with a very difficult set of circumstances but I still feel that somehow I should be doing more. It's ridiculous. I find home visits v intrusive. Most parents would dislike this, but again as a parent of a child with sn you are supposed to like them, welcome them and be grateful for them. I get particularly pissed off with the tea and sympathy brigade. When my ds was diagnosed I found plenty of professionals or organisations were ready to chat and drink cups of tea, very few would actually do anything useful or concrete for my ds.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

They shouldn't offer home visits, but visits at a convenient location of your choice if they are willing to travel.

Obviously, sometimes home visits will be necessary, i.e. to take measurements for some specific equipment but otherwise, not unless that is where you choose and feel comfortable.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

Also, you are not failing to attend support groups and coffees because you work. THEY are failing to provide their services to you because you work.

They are supposed to be meeting need, not require you to give up your security and income to receive the services in the way they want to provide them.

[GettaWound]

Oh thank god I'm not alone!

I'm expected to be in... Yet every appointment anywhere a big deal is made of the fact dd is not in nursery,at 2.5. Surely one or the other.

Every person yes does have the same initital reaction of shock at the level of language delay,but nothing ever comes of it.

[Ineedmorepatience]

The first time I attended a TAC meeting I was shocked to see 8 people in lovely families living room! Now I am used to it.

I always offer to book a venue for these meetings now as I cant imagine how stressful it is. Ask at your nearest Sure Start if they have a meeting room you can book, they should be free of charge.

Also do you know the family support workers in your area? They might be able to help with this kind of thing!

When and if your LO does start going to some kind of setting you can have the meetings/appointments there but it is hard to juggle working around them because the people seeing your child only work 9-4!!

Good luck

[Butterby]

I see it from both sides. There is a often the view point it is easier for the parent for professionals to come tonthe home. I ask for mine at the development unit or clinic so I don't have to clean obsessively before hand (this my issue though, I know they aren't checking for dust!)

In my professional role I offer the option of home or a children's centre locally. Most families seem to pick home.

It's so hard when the parent works full time as you don't want them to have to take time off but when you both work mon to fri there isn't much option. I try and go for first thing or late afternoon so that the whole day is not disrupted.

My DP and MIL take DS to his weekly appointments and I get there when I can (I am main earner at home). I get the comments about not taking him myself as though DP and MIL aren't good enough! I've also started getting the "when are you sending him to nursery comments" and "he'll have to go sometime". I just smile and bite my tongue when I want to roll off the benefits of him not being in nursery.

[Saracen]

I always decline home visits and request an alternative venue. Mainly because we already tick too many of those "consider-referring-to-SS" boxes, and I don't want to give anybody the chance to jump to conclusions.

I think it's good that home visits are on offer as they must be easier for some families, so long as it's made clear that other options are available too.

[senvet]

I get it totally. I heard of one family who went to huge efforts with friends from church to tidy up, and then the social worker said thet they seemed to be coping.

Mind you, from what I heard that LA would have said the same if the house had been a major health hazard...

If it isn't to do with the home, I can't see why you shouldn't have a meeting somewhere else.

[PrepperInTraining]

Have three children with additional needs and have never had a home visit? Is it just for tac? I don't have in if those tho!

[GettaWound]

It seems to be a thing here, parent support coordinator (I don't know what they're for), specialist hv (basically report write for pead), teacher of the deaf, epi nurse and a portage style person.