Rainbows (Girl Guides) - all my daughter wants for Christmas is to be included in your organisation.

[TwinkleChristmasStar]

Hi, my 6 year old daughter has been attending her local Rainbows unit since January. She has Type 1 Diabetes and Coeliac Disease.

In October she was invited to the ultimate event for a 'grown up' Rainbow - the Sleepover! Of course she wanted to go. We, and her medical team saw no reason why she could not attend. The venue is just 13 minutes away from home (the usual Rainbows meeting place is 9 minutes away).

The response from the Guiders when we said she would like to attend, was that DD was a "horrific responsibility," and that we had been expected to decline the invitation.

We are now nearly 3 months into the complaints procedure. We have offered numerous ways we can help facilitate our daughter being included, including us staying close by (there is no room for one of us to stay on site), doing her medication, providing food, being on call etc.

Our first complaint got upheld, however, we were told that DD still could not go on the sleepover :(

The complaint report also revealed other failures such as no risk assessments for weekly meetings.
We have made subsequent formal complaints of a Failure to Make Reasonable Adjustments, and of Disability Discrimination. These to date have been ignored.

At no point has anyone asked what our child's needs actually are.

Since all the complaints went in, there has been a further incident. We phoned to check that it would be ok for DD to attend the last meeting before Christmas, given the issues surrounding weekly meetings. We offered to stay either on site or close by. We were told by Girl Guide HQ that the meeting was cancelled due to a leader being ill. The story did not add up. I was passing the meeting hall on the way home, and so I pulled in. Within a few minutes, some leaders arrived, followed by the Rainbows, and then more leaders. It appears that DD was purposely excluded.

There is more detail about all of this here on my Blog.

We realise that as a whole Girl Guides can be inclusive, however after nearly three months, nothing has been resolved, and our complaints remain unanswered.

Our daughter is incredibly brave. She does not deserve to be treated like this. She just wants to be with her friends at Rainbows. We also hope that we can prevent this happening to any other child in future.

[ClimbingFramePlanningEnquiry]

Discrimination is illegal.

Those of you saying that the OP should let it drop, because otherwise the group may have to close, are conveniently ignoring the fact that the group are behaving ina discriminatory manner. The group does not have to close at all, it merely has to stop discriminating against a young girl with (completely manageable) disabilities.

The diet stuff is so easy to get around, I can't believe anyone would see it as a problem. And the leaders have been offers support and training, from both parents and medical professionals for the diabetes. So where, exactly, is the problem?

[WUME]

Exactly - more than meets the eye.

[LeftyLoony]

Apparently according to you its ok for an organisation to exclude a 6 year old on medical grounds. And the parents should just take that.

As if any parent would do that.

[5madthings]

No wume they offered to be there and were told there was no space!

But they don't need to be there anyway.

[Slubberdegullion]

Agree with DesperatelySeekingSanity.

I'm a Rainbow guider and if I had space OP I would have no problem whatsoever accommodating your daughter within my unit.

This is discrimination, absolutely no question about it and I'm ashamed that the organisation I volunteer for has let you and your daughter down so badly Twinkle.

Two issues really, one is the Guiders who are running the unit. They should be ashamed of themselves. I am appalled at the 'secret meeting' they ran excluding your dd from. Their behaviour is frankly cowardly and ignoble. I would question whether they should be running a unit at all. We ask our Rainbows to promise to be kind and helpful, they have spectacularly failed to embrace that ethos within their running of the unit.

Second issue is the poor treatment you have received from GGHQ. I'm very surprised at this. Keep taking the issue up the ladder. Situations such as these need to be stepped on hard and quickly. Guiding is an inclusive organisation and those in charge should be working with you to ensure that your daughter can attend meetings and sleepovers.

I'm sorry that your daughter has been let down by Rainbows Twinkle.

[DaisyFlowerChain]

It would be interesting to get GGUK response to this, there appears to be more than meets the eye.

[Becles]

5madthings: "Nowumethey offered to be there and were told there was no space!"

@ 5madthings

A) Unless the parents are DBS checked there is no way they can stay overnight. GGUK has very clear guidance on this. As well as this child's needs, there are other children to safeguard.

B) The leaders offered a compromise of letting the child attend on a day basis. This would have been a good way for them to gain confidence in their ability to cope. The jump in being responsible for a child for only an hour to overnight is massive.

C) Many children don't stay they whole time and I personally think that we have not heard the full story.

D) Guiding upheld the complaint, but the unit leaders have said that they do not feel confident in their ability to manage the child overnight. Is the solution to force them to take the child - even though the first thing you learn in first aid or other training is to consider your competence...

BTW The delay in responding to the subsequent complaints is likely to be related to the time of year. Unbelievable as it may be, all the people dealing with this (aside from region/central, who have to let the complaint go up the chain) are volunteers this close to Christmas will have jobs, families and other things to juggle.

[WUME]

Exactly.

Leaders on this thread can't understand why this girl is being refused and can't understand why HQ are not doing more.

Two sides to every story.

I smell a rat.

[Tangarine]

I too have a child with Type 1 diabetes and coeliac (and another autoimmune condition). He's now a rufty tufty sports-mad teenager about to go to university, but he missed out on so many things when he was the OP's daughter's age, often because he wouldn't be invited in the first place (because people feared having to take responsibility for him).

Sleeping over for the first time is such a huge step for any child, but even more so for a child with diabetes. I am eternally grateful to the mother who made it happen for my DS. Speaking from my experience as the parent of a child with diabetes, you worry about them all the time they are out of your sight - OP is being incredibly brave to want to allow her DD to go on the sleepover, and to put in place arrangements to keep her DD safe.

OP I am furious for you that this has happened to your daughter. I hope it gets properly resolved - and quickly.

[JellyBabiesSaveLives]

I am heartbroken by the people on this thread who think it is ok to exclude and discriminate against a person with a disability, in order that those without disabilities can carry on enjoying themselves fully.

I've heard that in school too - we can't give your child the care he needs to stay in school because then we'd have less time for the other children and that isn't fair on them.

But I've also seen children offer to miss out or change a planned activity so that a disabled child can be included. Children have a lot to teach adults sometimes!

[JellyBabiesSaveLives]

WUME - the leaders don't want to take a child with diabetes over night in case she dies while in their care. Diabetes is rather more serious, and harder to care for, than you have any idea of.

[Tron123]

I hope that the issue is resolved either with a place at this unit or, in another.

I also hope that this guider conitues to take an active part inthe guiding movement, as noted earlier the guider is a volunteer giving up time. I hope this unit continues to florurish. The guider might be anxious abot dealing with a child with these needs, we don't know the full facts. However i do not want the unit to fold or there to be a witch hunt agaisnt the guider as it will deter others volunteering as if that happens no child will be able to benefit from the guiding movement

[DaisyFlowerChain]

So Jelly, the volunteers should be forced to take the child despite not having the confidence to care for her illness. Would you do it if worried and scared just to do the "right thing"? What if it goes wrong, I'm pretty sure the OP would have them hailed over the coals despite forcing them to care for her.

[ZeViteVitchofCwismas]

This is really really sad to read and very surprising an- missing and strangely odd missing dead lines and so on...

Also not getting the part that just because its volunteer work its somehow then ok to exclude this poor child

Op cant you leave these people behind and get her into something else....it leaves a bad taste in the mouth, it really really does.

[ZeViteVitchofCwismas]

daisy

The parents have offered to stay very close by, so if I was worried I would contact the close by parents.

[itiswhatitiswhatitis]

I agree with you jelly the attitude of some people on this thread is disgusting. I would rather see no unit at all than one that so blatantly excludes a child with a disability and I would not want my child to be part of a group that behaved this way.

[itiswhatitiswhatitis]

Volunteers who don't feel capable of including children in their activities should step down. Hopefully it will lead to more caring volunteers stepping forward.

[WUME]

Well Jelly, If that's the case and its that serious then I wouldnt leave my child at a Rainbow sleepover if she had diabetes.

[Becles]

itiswhatitiswhatitis: "Volunteers who don't feel capable of including children in their activities should step down. Hopefully it will lead to more caring volunteers stepping forward."

@ itiswhatitiswhatitis

More volunteers queuing up to take Rainbows. Hahahahhhahahhahahhahaha.

Too many Rainbow leaders is obviously a massive problem. Not a section with a massive crisis in leader numbers; nope. Just sat there waiting Hahahahhhahahha

[secretsantacalling]

There is no more to this than the OP describes. And yes I do know the OP and her awsome kids and DH.

There daughter has been to me for the odd playdate. She is great at managing her condition and is incredibly responsible. Its hard to believe at times she is 6!

Twinkle is an incredibly dedicated parent who just wants her kids to have as normal a childhood as possible. She is quite happy to provide food and arrange additional training to anyone involved in her DDs hobbies.

Quite frankly I am horrified that so many of you think it is OK to discriminate based on these manageable conditions. Again, the site was less than 15 minutes away. There are 2 hospitals less than 20 minutes away. Medical care is easily accessible. There is no good reason to exclude this child.

[SunnaClausIsComingToTown]

I lost all sympathy when I learned this was plastered all over Facebook.

Witch hunts are never excusable. That poor volunteer leader.

[jimmycrackcornbutidontcare]

Hhmm. Our rainbows folded as there were not enough willing volunteers. Our DD had been enjoying it and we were disappointed. A lot of troops in our area have gone the same way. If I were volunteering as a rainbow leader, basically giving up a lot of my free time to give a group of girls a bit of fun, and one of the parents made an official complaint about me I'd think '£u(k this' and leave.
My friend has a child with diabetes. She has spent a lot of time in training courses about food, insulin, blood sugar levels, testing etc. She is still not confident. I can see why someone would be afraid to take on the responsibility of a child's life.

[SunnaClausIsComingToTown]

As soon as it's on FB the OP has lost the moral high ground. I expect the leader will give up in the face of aggression from "supporters". The group will close.

Other people thinking about becoming leaders will have read about it on Facebook and won't bother.

With limited numbers of helpers it isn't always possible to be totally inclusive. The law only requires that reasonable adjustment is made. If there aren't enough helpers confident enough to deal with a child's needs what can they do?

I do think it's unfair in the case but to try to garner support on face book won't help, long or short term.