Looking for advice and opinions on cousin's DS aged 3....sensory seeking and social interaction?

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

DS is 3 years and 2 months. He spends a lot of time with us due to my cousin suffering from MH issues. She just isn't coping with anything and we're helping out.

He's been coming to me almost daily for 6 months now and I'm more and more concerned daily.

He is very echolalic and has no other speech apart from learned phrases...some of it is from tv and other bits are what you've just said to him...no waving or pointing...but he is sociable and loves my DC for games like jumping on the trampoline.

He seems to be unable to approach other DC in a "proper" way...I've been taking him to a Mothers and Toddlers recently and he has this way of pushing his face into other DCs faces and also putting his hands into their hair and kind of...twiddling his fingers very fast.

It's making me sad as he smiles and is pleased to see the DC but he can't read their reactions or something as he just keeps doing it and it's got to the stage where I have to constantly jump up to remove him from another child's hair.

He wont use a spoon but used his hands and no matter how hard I try, he just won't do it.

(I have googled ASD a LOT and am becoming more convinced he is on the spectrum...he's got poor eye contact and doesn't answer to his name. He also has the odd vacant moment though these seem to have become less lately.

He doesn't/cannot ask for anything...no "Where's Daddy?" or "Hello Neo!"

and is still in nappies...no sign of wanting to potty train and cousin doesn't want me to try as she's just not there in terms of supporting him at the moment.

He is excellent with numbers and can count to about 100...he also can name all letters of the alphabet....he loves being read to and playing on the computer and watches TV for hours id I'd let him. If I ask him what a certain picture in a book is, he will often tell me..."Train" he loves trains and cars. When he plays, he doesn't play if you know what I mean...he moves things around a lot and empties stuff out or bites things. Unless it's a computer!

I have managed to get his Dad to enroll him in preschool but he's not starting for a month....I suggested they get his ears checked but Dad has not made an appointment.

He's a good Dad but VERY stressed...abuot my cousin and about the DS...I think he's suspecting something is amiss with DS but stuicking his head int he sand about it.

[MerryCouthyMows]

Biyali - that is my DS3. And my DD. And my DS2. Not one of them could have a back and forth conversation at 2yo.

Today I'm celebrating 25mo DS2 saying his first proper 2-word sentence - "telly on". It's the first time he's actually asked for ANYTHING. He COMMUNICATED because he wanted something. Even that is a cause for celebration.

My friends NT DS is a month younger - and I can have a conversation with him about what animals he saw at the zoo, and which one he liked best, and what his favourite TV show is, and why he likes red clothes.

DS2 couldn't name a single colour or animal right now.

[MerryCouthyMows]

And the mind numbing monologues are a daily thing with DS1. He gets really angry if your mind wanders after half an hour of listening to how to play a particular level of a particular computer game.

He spends as much time spouting monologues AT me about his game as he does playing it...

[MummytoMog]

My theoretically NT DS is just two and you couldn't have a conversation with him - your friend's son sounds very advanced :). I've known two year olds you could have a really lovely rational conversation with, but not many. DS knows some colours and has a good vocabulary of animal sounds, but doesn't talk.

DD is still non-conversational at three and a half, but she can communicate lots of useful things now about her needs which is such a relief!

[MareeyaDolores]

Your cousin and her husband will soon be looking at a social services appointment if they fail to act when nursery tells them to check this stuff out. Better it's you simply asking the health visitor to pop in.

It's perfectly possible to get on all the right waiting lists now, start the early intervention input (such as it is) and not get any diagnosis for a year or two. So their need to stay in denial needn't conflict with your dn's need for action.

[MareeyaDolores]

See, the HV may think 'poor delayed dc, all due to poorly mum'. Which really isn't true, by the sound of it.

Its not unheard of for the (underlying, not acknowledged) realisation of a child's ASD to actually spark off depression in the first place.