come and kick me up the arse, feel like a shit mum after an awful physio appointment..

[hazeyjane]

..ds had an appointment with the physio and ot today, it was awful. They have said before about how difficult it is to assess ds, as he has bad separation anxiety, is very clingy to me and is very wary of other people, and certain situations.

So today, he isn't doing too badly, playing next to me, whilst I am talking. Then the ot asked me to move away from him to the other side of the room, which I did. Ds fell to the floor crying, and the ot, said right now how would you normally react in this situation. I was kind of thrown, and they said i should just sit and say - 'ds, if you stop crying i will pick you up' and ask him to come to me.

After 10 minutes (I checked the clock) ds - still screaming,started to wriggle across the floor to me, he can't get up off the floor on his own because of his low tone, and by this time he was absolutely hysterical and just collapsed again, I picked him up and there was snot and drool everywhere, he was sweating and cold, and then he screamed for the rest of the session.

I don't know whether I feel more awful for not picking him up straight away when he was in such a state, or whether I feel so bad because I am obviously causing ds's seperation anxiety, by being too soft The only way we get him to sleep is by having him sleep with us, this must make it worse. I have sat the girls down with some sweets and ds is curled up on the sofa, and I am trying to hold it together because I just feel like crying my eyes out.

[silverfrog]

she was 5ish, dev. it was for our Tribunal, so would have been the spring/summer of 2010ish I reckon. if you search my posts for SI OT (sorry, typing one handed as have ds asleep on me) you'll find some descriptions of how dd1's behaviour changed - for us it was mostly to do with behaviours in public, and an increased ability to listen and focus in noisy places etc.

we only went for about 3/4 months, iirc. but the changes were enormous (and dd1 had an absolute ball doing it - was like softplay for her!)

[dev9aug]

Thanks Silver softplay sounds fun..I have just called them and left a message. DS1 does have issues around anxiety/confidence so if anything can help, it will be brilliant. Really excited at this...

[SallyBear]

Off to google Hopscotch

[hazeyjane]

Also going to google Hopscotch (although ds is probably too young)

The sensory thing interests me because ds definitely has some things that increase his anxiety and clinginess, and at nursery he is much more willing to move away from me and play with the keyworker in the sensory room and soft play room - both are small and fairly dark and much less noisy than the main room. He also likes the weight thing, he often sleeps with a beanbag bear resting on his tummy - or maybe that is the reflux.

Babiki can joing dev9, in being interested in what your feeding salt says. We have been struggling to sees a salt who will provide more advice than - try him with chewy tubes, offer him different foods and give him a kazoo (ds chews it)!

Anyway one battle at a time. I wrote down all the points I was concerned about with the ot and have left a message with the physio to call me back - I want to discuss it with her, because we have more contact with her atm and she is much more approachable and knows us a family well. So hopefully she will call today.

There was a message on my phone from the OT yesterday saying that she had found a bath seat on ebay for us for £60 - only 18 months too late!

Thanks again for all the very supportive messages - you really are all lovely.

[babiki]

Hazey can you pm me your email and I'll send it tonight

[hazeyjane]

Just to let you all know, I have just spoken to the physio.

She said she completely understood why I was so upset, she felt that because I know her so well that I would say something whilst I was there.

Apparently we fall between 2 borders wrt ot equipment, and if we were part of the other pct's equipment service ds would have had specialist seating, a bath seat and stuff to help with his oro motor/feeding issues. Because we are in a different pct (where he hasn't even been assessed!) they have deemed him able enough to not even get an assessment. What i don't understand is that his sn nursery is in this other pct, and there is an occupational therapist there, who has never even talked to me (ds has been there for 14 months). They also don't liase between the sn nursery and the child development centre where he is seen by his paed, physio and ot - what a bloody mess!

She asked if I wanted to make an official complaint, but I said I didn't really want to go through it all over the phone, so i asked if we could have a meeting with her, the ot, me and dh and talk through what happened, what ot's role is supposed to be, how we can access the best ot service and how we can all best try to get ds the support he needs considering his clinginess and seperation anxiety.

Does that all sound ok? I was shaking like a leaf when I was talking to her!

[coff33pot]

You are a bigger person and more rational than me as I would have complained so well done to you for taking the diplomatic approach :)

It does sound ok and with your DH their too you have a chance of getting your concerns over and your feelings on the matter.

I would write down a list between yourself and DH on what YOU would like to see happening xx

[Firsttimer7259]

Impressive hazey - well done, the complaints always still there if your softly softly doesnt work and you may find you win more flies with honey as they say. Good luck

[Firsttimer7259]

Oh no its bees with honey - flies like poop!

[hazeyjane]

haha, well i didn't say out and out that i didn't want to make an official complaint - i will try to catch some bees with honey, and then if that fails, i'll definitely go for fly catching with poop!!

[porridgelover]

You did well to go back over it, and to be calm at the same time. I agree with coff33- make a list and bring it with you.
I would be asking why he cannot access specialist OT at the CDC. Do you think the PT will be ob board to advise you where and how to pursue the best possible service for him? Alternatively could the sn nursery OT advise you about where and what he needs?