Birthday parties

[used2bthin]

My dd is going to be five next week. She has been to a fair few parties this year and the first three birthdays she had I threw massive parties. Last year I had few friends over for tea and cake as I just didn't feel up to it and dd was seeming already so different to her peers by then.

This year is harder because they are now all at school so time to do an informal thing is more limited. We are renting temporarily and so I don't want to mess the house up so soon to moving and it is tiny and not where the majority of the friends live so may be hard for people to get to us after school with children being tired.]

Nearly all the friends are NT and dd loves playing with them individually but often plays with younger siblings now who at two are already ahead of her verbally in some cases. The ones dds age now do party games at parties and that would stress dd out so I am not doing that (hate them anyway tbh lots of screaming children because they didn't win!)

dd had a fit last week and it seems to be due to tiredness so I am scared of over tiring her but don't want to not celebrate with her friends as it seems mean and they have been supportive (the mums I mean!) WWYD?

[used2bthin]

Meant to add no one has yet done a leave your kids type party but I will find that much easier-and cheaper without younger siblings and adults to feed. So next year should be fine for that- I think as I don't get to see the mum friends often anymore everyone would be disappointed not to catch up. Otoh maybe some could leave younger ones at home with dads so less kids.

I really am struggling to plan anything! That would also meant two gatherings in one day albeit with the second being a quiet one.

[used2bthin]

Thanks all. We are having a small family gathering with one friend whose mum is my friend from so far back they are family anyway. I only know one parent and child so far at school really and she has said don't do a party if its too much and has been very understanding since she has an older child with SN.

The other mums and kids kind of come in a pack so I really can't ask a few without having everyone.

So the only time unless I leave it another week and half is the sunday morning maybe I should just say come for a play here. Although my place is just one room really plus her tiny bedroom so if it rained it could be a nightmare and would still add up food and planning wise. Argh why am I so indecisive about this!Next year I am just going to spend the money and book a soft play type party.

[fortifiedwithtea]

I have a NT DD who 13 and a DD who has SN and is 8. On top of that I have epilepsy so never do a party without another adult for moral support as I find them stressful. Having said all that imo the best parties by far are home parties.

Have the party at the weekend. OK not the actual birthday but tired grotty kids are no picnic.

Keep the time brief. You can get away with 1 and a half to 2 hour max for 5 year olds. Plan more activities than you have time for to allow for any ideas to bomb. If any idea falls flat, quickly move onto something else. Have something kids can join in as soon as they arrive to avoid that ackward when does the party start.

If it was me don't have younger siblings. Mixed ages can restrict what you want to do and you'll have parents cluttering up your house. You did say room was limited. Another thing kids can play up and not join in if their mothers are at a party. A real pain a the bum.

Don't feel guilty about not inviting everyone. Invite the number you feel you can manage. And if any can't make it think of that as a bonus. Don't have a B list of guests I think that's hurtful if guest finds out. Anyone not invited politely explain your reasons as you have here.

Party games don't always have have a winner. Have a good search on the web. Have fun.

Tell us how it goes.

[coff33pot]

Do they allow cake at school? You could buy a large one from supermarket (one of those big square ones with chocolate goo on top) and perhaps the teacher could hand out a square to each child as school ends as a birthday treat. In a sense then no child has been left out.

[pedalpants]

I agree soft play is the best as reduces hassle of it being at home and it caters to such a wide range of abilities/ages and allows for parallel or social play.

it is normal to start dropping invitations to those you have previously invited once the kids start school.

how about inviting two families, so the friend of your DD plus younger siblings who you say she likes. That would make five kids. cheap. Then buy the adults coffee and if they play well you could get a nice chat.

the needs of your daughter have to come first. you don't want to exhaust her. if your friends know your DD has had problems with epilepsy, they will understand why they are not invited.

HTH

[used2bthin]

I have but it would cost way too much to take everyone there -£5 a child and there are probably fifteen when you take them all into account, then food. It would be perfect if only a few. Should have said, money is a problem atm as we are moving soon.

[coff33pot]

Do you have a soft play charge around type of place you could go to. For DS I merely take a group of children there and buy them dinner or sandwiches and take a long a big birthday cake. So much easier and no clearing up! Most places like this take party bookings if you want to have an organised event. If your dd has had enough she can rest with you but the friends are still free to bounce about