Don't think DD will ever learn to read

[IndigoBell]

I am in a really bad place right now.

I don't think DD is ever going to be able to learn to read or survive academically. Up to now I always thought she just needed a better teacher / better learn to read method - but this holiday it has really hit me.

She is a bright, articulate, charming girl with a perfectly normal IQ and no special needs of any kind - besides the fact that her working memory is so poor and she has such slow cognitive processing that she appears not to be able to learn.

She is in year 3 but is still working at reception level. Able to slowly and labouriusly blend 3 letter words. But not able to read 3 letter words fluently.

I don't want to give up on her - but I have totally run out of ideas. I don't think she has the cognitive ability to ever be able to read - despite bring of perfectly normal intelligence.

I'm totally out of ideas and am so worried for her. I think she's going to have a totally shit life and there's nothing I can do to prevent it / alleviate it.

honestly, it is life changing.

if you can find someone who children instinctively lie, then that is half your battle done.

someone who can motivate in all the little games and tasks - it really does take the stress off.

and the person doesn't need any qualifications, just enthusiasm.

dd1 will do all sorts for tutors that she won't do for me, and has always been that way.

Indigo is it possible for you to look at how far your daughter has actually come since leaving her old school rather than measuring her as a Y3 child (hope you understand) From your posts I get the impression she has made progress even if she remains behind.

Oh Indigo, it sounds like you have at least one option to explore. It is so hard when you get to a position where plan A isn't working and you don't have a plan B.

I am livid that I have to pay for an additional person to help us out as we can ill-afford it, but then the cost now is a fraction of the cost to us and to ds of NOT doing it. I can spend my life fighting for provision and maybe one day, in 10 years or so we would finally win it, and then 10 years on from them get something that is halfway decent, but what would be the point then?

Can you reduce/change your working hours? Can your DH? Can the school release your dd an hour earlier perhaps, or take her an hour later (no chance with my ds' school but some schools are more open to this).

I know how frustrating it is to have to think like this, and how unfair, believe me.

But keep moving. Whatever happens, don't stand still in a hopelessness puddle however justified you may be to do so.

This is my best guess of what's going on:

Inattentive ADHD Explained

Normally in the brain the prefrontal cortex will speed up activity when there is work to concentrate on. But with this type of inattentive ADHD the prefrontal cortex actually slows down when placed under a work load, like reading or doing homework.

This part of the brain looks normal when "at rest," but actually looks like it is starting to fall asleep when asked to "go to work." This makes it very hard to pay attention to school work, get homework done, listen to the teacher, clean your room, and so on.

We have actually observed this hundreds of times with subjects on an EEG. When at rest, the brainwave activity is pretty normal. But once the subject is asked to read, or to do a math worksheet, the subject's brainwave activity begins to look like the subject is falling asleep. And often times they do fall asleep! This sure makes school hard for these students!