I can't get a 'Diagnosis' of Aspergers

[Oblomov]

Private pyschologist said that when the ASDS questionnaire, "he did not even the criteria for borderline AS".

But she said his Theory of Mind tests by the other Dr and her tests, and our recollections of events, had shown Empathy was a real problem. Plus she lists : 'adult language', not wanting to please parents, poor peer friendships, echoing of teacher often in sarky voice, with sarky comments. I could go on.

But I am left with no diagnosis. But people say AS is Spikey. They say you can't have a diagnosis of 'Aspergers tendancies ' ( see, I have researched all the old MN threads !!)

she says he needs to "be treated as an 'AS child".

But where does that leave me ? As good as useless, or so it feels.

[bumblingbovine]

Also if you move him. Be honest with the school up front about his difficulties. Speak to the SENCO straight away and offer to provide copies of private reports etc.

I would be tempted in the first few days to give them parts of the reports that show your ds's diffculties more. You can always provide the full report later.

The important thing is to have the school understand from DAY 1 that your son needs to have help and support. It is often difficult to change the view a school has of a child once that view is entrenched.

Make sure the view they start off with is the view you want them to have. That he is great at ....., strengths are ...... but tht he has difficulties in.... (you fill in )

My sister who works in SEN says that in her experience the children who do best have parents who despite seeing the difficulties their children have, still see their children in a positive light and who are strong advocates for them while still working as co-operatively as possible with the school. Obvious when you think about it but it is easy to forget this when your child's behaviour is difficult to manage and not always an easy balance to strike but you have to try.

[TheArsenicCupCake]

I really think this, at this moment, is damage limitation.
good your on the camhs list, you can either go to the gp and get him to bump it up.. Or on your appointment letter will be the number and a name .. Call them.. Tell gp and camhs that the situation has changed fir the worse, you are very concerned about the emotional state of ds and considering what he's telling you he needs help right now.

Tell school that your ds is not in a health emotional state, teasing is a big contributing factor and they must deal with it as part of their duty of care to him.. That you are keeping a log of all incidents to help them to stamp it out.. And what else can they suggest as the situation is completely intollerable for your ds as it stands right now.
Ask for a copy of their bullying policy, behaviour policies, sen policy and grievence procedure.
Then call parent partnership.. And the LEA, The school are not meeting your ds's needs , his emotional state is suffering because of it. That the school refuse to meet his needs due to not having a dx... Rather than on a need basis.

The best schools aren't always the best for our dc's .. So pop and see a few and have a chat with the sencos and heads.

[Tiggles]

Just echoing other posters, my DS (now 8) was dx 'school anxiety leading to AS type symptoms' when he was 6 paed said to treat as if AS.
School he was in was meant to be a good school. Terrible for him. They kept telling me he was fine, def not autistic, no odd behaviour. When paed went into school to assess him (school kept putting visit off) paed said 'loads of really odd behaviour' teacher said 'if only they had come in even a week before they would have seen odd behaviour he was fine when paed was here'.

We moved areas, and after period of home-edding to get DS over trauma of previous school, put him into a new school. When looking around the first school we went to had excellent OFSTED, fab new building, all singing all dancing equipment. I said to HT, DS has anxiety what can you do for him. He said 'looks fine to me, but if he has problems tbh I would find a more caring school for him' . Second school, not as good OFTSED, I said the same, HT was fine with it, said they had lots of experience with ASD, found out DSs special interest and showed him all the books about it in the library etc etc. Funnily enough DS went to second school and is getting on really well - teacher happy to coax him out from under table when something new happening etc. He was still anxious after 6months of being there so went back to CAMHS (as requested by previous paed before we moved) and he was immediately sent to the autism service, apparently really obvious AS and had dx within couple of months of starting seeing them! I wonder what there assessment of DS would have been if they had seen him when he was at his old school as ALL his symptoms were a million times worse then as he was soooo stressed all the time.

[Oblomov]

Have spoken to the CAHMS lady . told her thngs have got worse.
I told Tier 3 aswell, but they say they still have nothing till Jan. I am already on cancelation appointment list.
Nothing.

I can bear to think of changing schools yet. But I guess I will have to. We worked so hard to get ds1 in. Fera for ds2's place now. So sought after.

I will take him to GP. what she can do is probably pathetic though.

Dh says we will achieve nothing at 5pm appointment with Head tomorrow.
I have already prinnted off behavior policy, SEN policy.

But they won't budge. You can tell by their approaches already. I already told deputy and e-mailed senco about his not being born thing. Response. Ice cold.

I will ring child pysch and Paed and say, politely, this is not just good enough. what am i paying for here ???

[mariagoretti]

Sod their league tables, their ofsted,their heavily oversubscribed and highly sought after places. If this is how they treat worried parents and a needy child, how can you entrust your next dc to them?

No wonder the behaviour policy isn't working on your ds, and the other children are still teasing. The HT and the staff are hardly modelling the empathy and social concern you'd want ds to learn.

[milou2]

Judge the school by how the staff are responding to your family right now. That is all that matters.

Good luck with visiting other schools if you choose to do this. I had a very therapeutic visit to a nearby school head after deregistering ds2 nearly 3 years ago. He was kind, understanding and honest. I had no idea teachers could be like this.