"School Refusal"...can a child 'fake' physical symptoms??

[MrsForgetful]

my son has gone back to school today...and as usual looking deathly white,feeling clammy and very reluctant.

before half term he has come home at 1 for lunch, looking terrible...pale,just like travel sick- sweaty forehead/cold to touch....and as soon as i have called school to say he is ill- al beit to miss only 1 lesson....he gets full colour back and forehead not clammy.

he has adhd and Aspergers...i have issues which mean i get full blown panic attacks...so my gut feeling is he is not faking ...as when i have a panic attack i get exactly how he does...and i really don't believe he is able to bring on the symptoms at will....

he is 'discreetly bullied' at school- mainly by girls who he says keep saying they fancy him...he's almost 13...and finds all social skills hard- so as we approach adolecense i expected this raection...but he seems to hate a girl even looking across at him now...and that feels to do with the general 'eye contact' thing as he says they are staring...when all they are doing is momentarily glancing at him...

school (as ever) don't 'see' his hidden feelings as he covers it well...he is not disrupptive in school as he takes concerta (like ritalin)...which controls his hyperactivity...but also makes him very passive.

i hate sending him to school...how can i be sure he isn't really feeling so awful that it makes him ill...i am in contact with the school nurse ref my other sons...so may call her.

[Flamesparkler]

I thought as I posted that I was probably being insanely optimistic

I'm thinking a phone call every hour on Monday until they speak to you

I'll ring em for ya....

[MrsForgetful]

i do feel so much better for just having your upbeat comments... it is upseting me...however i need to smile too!!

one way i could guarantee the school phone is if i 'forgot' to give him his adhd medicine...last time that happened...he was 'put' in what they call the 'safe room' till i got his meds to him!
they don't appreciate how much his meds are in some ways 'masking' his needs...however...as said many time sin the past...i cannot send him to school deliberately without meds...i love him too much...

[Flamesparkler]

I'm pleased you said that... I was worried as I sent the last one that you might think I was just being flippant

Does he take several doses during the day, or just the one before school? (Thinking about whether you'd be able to take a midday one in so that they would have to see you, but that you would be able to get it there before he needs it iyswim?)

The hourly phone calls was originally jokey, but it might be the way to go...

[Flamesparrow]

Been speaking with my mum about this (works in a school) - she thinks that just camping out in the office until someone speaks to you is the way to go!!!

[MrsForgetful]

i wish YOU were at the school! YOU have NOT forgotten me.....

did have a phone call this morning (thought it was school!!!)

this was it (bear in mind my husband is at home with leg in plaster!!!)

"hello, is TOM there'
(panics as think school has noticed he's missing)
i reply
"No, he's at school,isn't he?"
he says
"no,Is JOHN there ?....."
i said
"oh...i thought you said TOM. You must have a wrong number as noone called JOHN lives here"
he laughed
"what no Mr John Silver?"
then i clicked...he wanted my one legged husband!


(see what i mean about me having to see the lighter side of life! )
"no...this is tel no 123456"

"Long John Silver?"

THEN the penny dropped...this was my husbands friend calling to take the mickey!

[Flamesparrow]

lmao I would have been baffled too - and probably slightly stroppy by the end... and would have hung up before the penny dropped!!!

[Flamesparrow]

Still nothing?? Getting very with you now!!!

[flamesparrow]

Did you ever hear back MrsF?

(Last post meant angry for you, not at you )