2 month old bedtime

[crazychemist]

I’ve got twin boys that are 2 months old (adjusted age, they were premature).

I have no trouble getting them down for naps during the day - after a feed, or in the pram or car, or with a dummy, or in a sling. This is usually after about 45 mins to an hour of awake time. But after 8pm they just DONT sleep! They get seriously overtired and I just can’t get them to go down. Finally they crash at around midnight.

I’m open to suggestions - anyone got any good tips?

[User0ne]

That sounds like hard work especially with your DD.

What do you do when they're unsettled in the evening? Both my DS's have been night owls at first and would be very unsettled unless they were "skin to skin".

We used to go to bed around 8pm and I'd read/watch something/audiobook. They settled down sleepwise around 4m.

I'd maybe try to have a conversation with your DD as well explaining that she doesn't need to worry if she hears them crying at night and that she can go back to sleep.

[crazychemist]

@Onthetrain75, that’s a very good point about routines needing to be learned. I suppose I expected them to be more similar to my DD than they are - she had a routine that wasn’t “typical”, but she made it quite obvious when she needed sleep, and it was basically the same every day by the time she was 12 weeks. The twins I’m trying to impose on them a bit more because it’s a problem when they are very different from each other! Hopefully I’ll get them in sync over time.

@ChampooPapi I should probably clarify - when they are napping in the pram, this is not usually with motion - it’s just that the bassinets are convenient! It’s usually parked in the sitting room. This was working well when my DD was at preschool during the day, but now it’s not going so well as my noisy 4 yo disturbs them.

Last night they actually went down really easily at 10.30. Perfect! Alas it didn’t last and one twin had a totally crappy night. Ah well.

[crazychemist]

Arggggghhhh the twin that had a crappy night continues to be difficult. Twin 2 has his swaddle and his dummy and peacefully drifted off at 9.30. Twin 1 is making my evening hell. He starts screaming as soon as it’s obvious I’m trying to get him to bed. I’m taking a break for a bit - he’s gurgling away at my DH who is making up the guest bed. Poor 4yo DD has been woken twice. How can identical twins be so different about sleep?!?!?

[ChampooPapi]

@crazychemist what is your bedroom situation? Can your husband share with your 4 year old for a few weeks while you put the twins in separate rooms, having the one who has this witching hour in with you? I know it's early to do this but needs must!

[ChampooPapi]

@crazychemist also remember the ending crying and fussing is just a phase and doesn't last long, it sounds like you are doing an amazing job ☺️

[SleepingStandingUp]

At 8 weeks I wouldn't be sending them off to bed, they slept in their basket (or on us😕) and then went up to bed with us around 11.30.

I'll admit they were never great nappers as DS is a noisy 5 year old, enough said.

DH puts big one to bed and I'd stay with the twins, they were still feeding every 3 hours anyway so with slightly variable sleep times there's no way they'd have gone up.

[SleepingStandingUp]

How can identical twins be so different about sleep?!?!? What amazed me is how they're so different about everything. Ones always been needier - first born. One teethed two weeks earlier - second born. One is kissier - first born. And yes, one sleeps better / goes down easier / falls back asleep quicker if disturbed - second born whilst one really has to be ready to be put down and will cause havoc otherwise - first born.

[ChampooPapi]

At 8 weeks I wouldn't be sending them off to bed

But they are actually 14 weeks (they were 5 weeks early so understand they are considered prem)

But for five week prem babies over three months which they are I think keeping them up downstairs or not putting them 'to bed' is not a good idea at all for good sleep associations, or for ones sanity.

And I say this as someone with 14 week old twins who were nearly 4 weeks early. They are up to bed by 8pm (if not 7pm).

[ChampooPapi]

You have to just keep on at it really, even of your popping upstairs a few times to feed/settle. It will become a routine for them and it will stick and get better and easier but you have to be kind of militant about it for a while. It pays huge dividends but you need to stick at it for it to also become 'normal' for them as babies.

I did the same with my other two girls and they love their beds and bedtime, have been excellent at settling themselves back to sleep too

(Except the 4 months sleep regression.....shudder)

[SleepingStandingUp]

@ChampooPapi

At 8 weeks I wouldn't be sending them off to bed

But they are actually 14 weeks (they were 5 weeks early so understand they are considered prem)

But for five week prem babies over three months which they are I think keeping them up downstairs or not putting them 'to bed' is not a good idea at all for good sleep associations, or for ones sanity.

And I say this as someone with 14 week old twins who were nearly 4 weeks early. They are up to bed by 8pm (if not 7pm).

I missed the actual age, but I'd stil have said the same. And the fact they're not settling reinforces my opinions on it, I felt much more sane having th down with us whilst they were awake so often than spending so long up and down

[WineInTheWillows]

But for five week prem babies over three months which they are I think keeping them up downstairs or not putting them 'to bed' is not a good idea at all for good sleep associations, or for ones sanity.

Quite possibly. But putting them upstairs goes against safe sleep guidance.

[ChampooPapi]

@WineInTheWillows I know, it is a personal decision. We go to bed at like 8/9pm with our babies pre six months though so they are only monitored alone for an hour or so while we are downstairs. Then we sleep in the same room as them the rest of the night. I just couldn't be staying up till 10 or 11pm , even if I'm not asleep Id need to be in bed resting and winding down.

[Sls668]

I have no real advice as my baby is only 13 weeks old and seemed to shift herself naturally. She too was always up until midnight and then wanted to stay in bed all morning! I tried to make sure we were up by 9.30am and just kept going with the whole bath, book, boob routine at the time I would like and she’s just naturally shifted now to sleeping 9pm until 9am. I keep her down with me until I go to bed for safety. I know I should keep pushing her to sleep earlier (not actually sure how I’d do that) but her Dad sometimes comes home after 6 so at the moment it works as he can spend time with her (and I am not ready to give up the lie in!). But anyway, the reason I posted was to say I struggle with one so can’t imagine having twins! You’re bloody amazing 😊

[SleepingStandingUp]

@ChampooPapi your earlier bedtime obv makes a difference, I'm never in bed that early unless I'm poorly (just how my body clock is) so my point was more that I keep them down until I'M ready for bed rather than staying up for THEM.

They're 13 months now and go down awake, kids in bed gabbing to each other and generally go to sleep themselves. So there is light.

For a long time we put them down already asleep but some nights it meant they were up til 9 so now they have bottle and get sent to bed