10 month old waking at 4 am, help!

[Heloise1982]

Just that really. He just will not be settled in his cot (or our bed - he's never been one for co sleeping.) He just sings and then after about 30 mins start crying, I think out of frustration/boredom. He's currently sitting on the sofa next to me happy as a clam, although he is now starting to yawn a bit.

He goes to bed at 7, into cot awake, usually self settles well, occasionally needs a dummy.

He'll usually nap at about 8.30 (for anything from 45 min to 2 hours) and again at about 1.30 (again length variable, but I'd never let him sleep last 4, he's usually awake by 3.30).

He eats loads during the day so I don't think hunger is an issue. I set the heating to come on for 3.30 this morning and that didn't make a difference. He is in a sleepyhead grande, and I don't know whether he's reached the point where he'd be better off without it so he can sleep on his front. I'm scared to take it away tho, in case it makes everything worse!

Any suggestions? I feel like death over here!

[Tootsiepops]

Welcome to the 10 month sleep regression. Good luck! We barely made it out alive

Not much to be done tbh other than ride it out.

[Strawclutching]

Good luck!

Am on day 2 of doing controlled crying to try and sort out this issue but she's ended up sleeping later anyway. We've had weeks of 3-4am wake ups.

My eldest did it for a year before she changed to 4-5am from 1.5-2.5years now aged 3 she sleeps in from 6am-7am. I'm hoping it gets sorted earlier with dd2 as I aged about 10years!!

[Introvertedbuthappy]

My 8.5 month old gets up between 4 and 5, but I'd kill for a straight run from 7 til then rather than the up every 90-120 mins we have now. Plus he only has 2 45 min naps a day...
Swap?

[43percentburnt]

I feel your pain today, 10 month old twins woke hourly from 11:30 last night. I've given up on sleep. They will no doubt sleep until 9 now!

No advice unfortunately, but good luck.

[LalaLeona]

My son the same! 5 would be fine but any time before that is just wrong. He goes to bed at 7. Naps around 8am and 1pm for an hour and a half each time. Clearly I'm doing something wrong. Too tired to work out what it is though. You have my sympathy

[Heloise1982]

Straw a year?? Good God!

I didn't even know the 10 month sleep regression was a thing. Is there ever such a thing as a sleep progression? I'd like one of those please.

He went back to sleep at 5.45 and has only just woken back up so clearly wasn't ready to be up. I did tell him that at the time. I think I got about a 30 minute doze in before his twin brother was up and singing.

Until quite recently we had two hour wakings here too. That ended, and now this! I honestly don't think it's any better; I do get a solid stretch of sleep, but it just makes the day sooo long.

My two year old just woke up and announced 'I've had a lovely sleep.' Good for you sweetheart, good for you

[FATEdestiny]

He'll usually nap at about 8.30 (for anything from 45 min to 2 hours) and again at about 1.30 (again length variable, but I'd never let him sleep last 4, he's usually awake by 3.30).

Your morning nap is too early. An early morning nap is like an extension of night time sleep and so encourages and perpetuates early mornings.

I'm also not clear on the amount of daytime sleep he's getting. At 10m you'd want 3-4 hours over 2 naps, with 11h at night. So on days with only 45m in the morning, I'd make the afternoon nap earlier and then if the afternoon nap is short too, slot in a third teatime power nap (and make bedtime a little later).

I would aim for a 9.30am morning nap and hope for 90-2h. If the nap was over 90m then afternoon nap 3 hours after waking (so about 2pm). If the nap is less than 1h then I would go for no more than 2h awake, possibly 90m awake time. This brings afternoon nap earlier. If he wakes from 2nd nap before 3pm then you are going to need a 40m or so power nap around 5pm and make bedtime more like 8pm.

[Heloise1982]

Thanks Fate. Nap times are unpredictable, but actually what you describe is more or less what we do - they generally have one short (45 mins) and one long (2+ hours) nap a day, there's just no knowing which one will be the long one. If both are short I try to get in a 20 min catnap, although it's hit and miss - they can be quite resistant. I don't think they're having too much (or too little) day time sleep - 3-4 hours a day is pretty much right.

I've heard about pushing the morning nap back, and I'll keep trying, but anything after 9 and they're usually a screaming mess and very difficult to settle, which then leads to a rubbish nap. Apart from one occasion when I was reading to the toddler and turned round to find one of them fast asleep in the jumperoo at 8.50 in the morning! It is frustrating tho, because they are often quite grumpy until they've had their morning nap, after which they cheer up, which does suggest to me that they are waking up before they've had enough sleep.

Grrr it's so frustrating!

[FATEdestiny]

Moving the nap from 8 30am to 9.00am is not that much of a change. I've known people need to move at 7.30am nap, that is hard work.

If you could get it to consistantly being after 9am first, that might make the move more doable. I find a short trip out helps with this. I have a school run 8.30-8.50am, which is perfect timing and length really.

I don't suppose you have a dog? A quick sitting-up pushchair walk withbthe dog might do it. Or pop to the shops in the car, in and out of the pushchair. Being out the house for a little bit helps holly through to push naptime later, I find.

Once nap is consistantly after 9am, start shifting it again to 9.30am.

[Heloise1982]

Thanks, I'll keep trying! They had a random and unprecedented 'lie in' til 5.45 this morning so I managed to keep them up til 9.30 without too much angst. Fingers crossed...

[Heloise1982]

Well a week of later morning naps and we were woken at 4:30 this morning by some very happy singing Not sure that approach is working! Tho my husband brought him to bed for a cuddle and he was back asleep within 10 mins (baby - not either of us. I know co sleeping works for some, but on the few occasions I've tried it I've never got a wink of sleep, I just don't get it.) His twin brother was then up for the day at 5:20

Maybe I'm just doomed to wait it out. It has to stop some day, surely. Teenagers do not wake at 4.30 am. Tho given how much I've aged in the last 10 months, I'll be beyond ancient by then!

[FATEdestiny]

That sounds like a 'night wake' rather than an early morning. In that it's a wake up in the middle of baby's night time sleep rather than a wake up indicating the end of night sleep.

I would start treating it as a night wake.

• get to baby as quickly as possible to resettle
  
• offer a milk feed
  
• resettle with dummy and/or cosleep

[littledinaco]

I was just going to say same as PP, I would treat as a night waking. Get to baby as quickly as possible and do whatever it takes to get them back to sleep. Waking up that early, I would persevere for as long as it took, I wouldn't get up. Same as if they woke at 1am you wouldn't get them up for the day would you?!
Good luck, hope you manage to sort it.

[Heloise1982]

Thanks, I think you're right about it being basically a night wake up, it's just the added complication of twins. If I tried to get him back to sleep in his cot I'd easily still be trying at 5:30, at which point his brother is up for the day and needs attention. Co-sleeping is fine up to a point (not my cup of tea, but better than being up and about at that time in the morning), but only really practical at the minute because my husband is still off work for Christmas, and able to stay in bed with one while I get up with the other. (It's no good me trying to cuddle him to sleep in bed, because all he does is try to bite my nipple.) (Baby, not husband.)

Still, two more days till my husband's back at work, so I'll try to be more persistent over the weekend and see how I get on.

[FATEdestiny]

A dreamfeed at the o the end of the night could help. A bit like a reset-button.

You could try a feed when you go to bed, say 10 or 11pm. Even add a nappy change into this feed if baby will tolerate it, so it become a a proper wake and resettle. It means nappy is drier and tummy not as empty come early morning.

[Heloise1982]

Bedtime at 11?? Goodness, I do well to get past 9 these days!

But thanks Fate I do like that idea, I'll definitely give it a try. I can pretty much set the clock by his morning wake up, so I think it must be habit as much as anything. He never seems that hungry so I don't think that's what it is, but I do think it must be something to do with sleep cycles. Got to be worth a try!