Bedtime routine at five weeks

[Beewhisperer]

At the moment every night is different and I am starting to think that little one needs some kind of routine for bed. I have read so much conflicting advice and getting lo down is currently hit and miss.
Could you please share your routine with me?
What does before bed look like? Do you put down awake or asleep? Do you leave baby alone or all go to bed together?
Sorry for so many questions but am so confused.

Annoyingly, she slept from 9 til 3:30 on Saturday when we took her to the fireworks and repeated this when we had been out for a late night walk on Tuesday. Went down no problem then back to being very awake last night.
Fresh air seems to be the way to go but it's bloody freezing out there.

My non reflux babies were in their own routine of sorts that included sleeping throughout the evening from about six weeks, but this was their routine.

My first two babies were so amazing I thought it was because I was amazing.

The next two soon put an end to that nonsense!!

The thing with babies sleep is to go with the flow, as they grow and develop, their sleep changes- sometimes drastically!

I've known babies sleep through from 6 weeks, hit 16/20 weeks and they are up every 2 hours again. Both of mine have gone though really settled periods, then really shocking ones, usually coinciding with a big leap I.e- rolling, walking, talking etc.

I now try not to get too comfortable with sleep and don't take it for granted that what they are doing now will be what they are doing next week, I find it less soul destroying that way 😂😂

Following with interest as my DD is a similar age to the OP's baby. currently the only way DD and I get any sleep on a night is if we bedshare. During the day she naps in the car/pram/sling/on me and if left alone for more than a minute or two she is wide awake and SCREAMS. At the moment I do not mind this at all, but am a bit nervous about this still being the case in 9+ months time when I intend on returning to work.

Pissedoff Both of mine were still like that when I returned to work when each was eight months old, despite my every (and I mean every) effort to encourage more independent sleep. It's fine - honestly (well, exhausting, but doable). When you're not around, they will go to sleep for other people. When you are around...well, that's all they want, and the only way they will sleep. Co-sleep, coffee. It's survivable. Trust me

That's not to say don't try getting them to sleep more independently, BTW. Try if you have the energy, but enter into all attempts with a healthy acceptance that it might not work, and the knowledge that nobody has actually died of sleep deprivation (yet. Both of mine did their best to change that, but I'm still kicking )

My DD is 10 weeks today. Last Friday I started doing a bed time routine and she's taken to it beautifully, I don't know why I didn't start it sooner, she seems like she would have been happy to do it at 5 weeks. Bath her around 6:45/7 then give her a feed/cuddle and put her into her Moses basket to fall to sleep on her own whilst singing her a song. She has a dummy and a comfort blanket that she snuggles into. Moses basket always stays where we (mainly me) are. She seems to be getting more used to it - falling asleep quicker each night. Before she struggled to fall asleep each night on me, I actually think she prefers being in her own bed .
Follow your instinct on it tho!! You know what's best

Any advice on how to teach baby to go to sleep on her own when she falls asleep on her bedtime feed. Do I wake her then put her down?

own old is she ErinMummy? Assuming she's still newborn then of course a feed will make her fall asleep, it's what feedong and having a full tummy does.

But from very tiny (like from birth) you don't have to be mega careful about not disturbing that milk-induced sleep. In fact almost the opposite, get baby used to being moved around when just falling asleep.

Yes, she'll fall asleep during a feed. I assume you wind after a feed? So when finished feeding I'd lift baby onto my shoulder to gently rub back. This may rouse slightly, but baby may well resettle on your shoulder while being winded.

Then another gentle move from shoulder, put down, swaddled, dummy in. All these will rouse slightly again, but then settle back. Then lift (swaddled and dummied) baby, little snuggle and settle to sleep.

The idea is that from day 1 you get baby used to being moved around when settling, so that you don't develop the habit that as soon as moved baby will wake.

Having said all that, this only really works if you start from a newborn

Thanks Fatedestiny. I've tried that a few times, my problem is the swaddling. If i don't swaddle her she startles herself awake. If I swaddle her and she's even a little bit awake she will have a strop and walker herself up fighting the swaddle. So I tend to feed and burp her to sleep then swaddle her without waking and then put her down fast asleep and swaddled. I'm trying to persevere and put her down swaddled a bit awake and just keep trying to resettle her and avoid a melt down at being swaddled!

Don't worry about needing to put her down "a bit awake". In this newborn phase sleeping is baby's natural, passive state. It's how baby should be most of the time.

But there are degrees of asleep. For example there is:

• light dozing, but not quite asleep yet
• just gone to sleep, not yet fully asleep
• fully asleep but not in deep sleep phase
• deeply asleep and floppy
• mid sleep-cycle, slightly roused from deep sleep

In newborn stage (up to 3 or 4 months) baby should be sleepy, so aiming for awake at nap time is unreasonable. Instead aim for putting baby down before the deep-sleep phase. Putting baby down at the just-asleep phase is great. Putting baby down when dozing is fantastic. But even putting baby down at the fully-but-not-deeply asleep is fine too if it's all baby can manage at her age.

I did bath, bottle, song /story , bed right from the word go to start a loose routine and everything else worked round that.

I got some temporary success with how I put down once sleepy/asleep. If you gently put feet down first, then bum, then back, you're less likely to kick off a startle reflex which is what returns them to fully awake (and, as was the case with both of mine, instant defcon 1 screaming). Similarly, try starting them in closely-supervised side-lying, then very, very slowly roll them onto their backs once they've been asleep for about 10 minutes. This sort of worked in combination with a dummy and swaddle with getting DS2 to be able to 'self-settle'/fall asleep in his cot rather than on me or on the boob. But since it did sweet FA when it came to the frequency of his night wakings, and his ability to get himself back to sleep then, I regret all that faff and bother and wish I'd just stuck with feeding to sleep, to be honest. Way easier. He's two now. Hasn't needed feeing to sleep in almost a year. It really doesn't last that long and you end up in the same place whether you feed to sleep or not, so I'm all for doing whatever's easiest.

Elphaba that's exactly what I did - put them down on their side propped up with a rolled up muslin, then after 5 mins slowly start pulling it out.

They gently recline onto their backs without startling if you're slow enough.

I never bothered with a evening routine before they start making their own, at about 10/12 weeks.

But I did try to wake them and open curtains etc at 7 every morning. It made the rest of the day start to fall into their wee baby led schedule that you soon start to recognise. Then the evening routine starts to develop naturally.

Oh and OP get a swinging chair for him pronto. It won't work every time, but they do work half the time. One with a 15 min swing at least!

I really don't think you can expect too much at this early stage. If your baby will slip into a routine, great, if not, work with it as best as possible. It can all change.
DS is 7 months, he slept pretty well from the beginning but his 'main' bedtime was around 10pm. There was no point trying to get him to sleep earlier. It's gradually got earlier, on his cues, and is now around 6/6.30pm. (We're working on getting it back to 7pm, but that's a whole other story). He would never feed to sleep after the first couple of months, he would fall asleep on his own....AND THEN we hit 6 months. It's horrendous. Up 6,7,8,9,10 times a night, sleeping on me, screaming the moment his back touches his cot...we're now on feeding to sleep where possible, co sleeping, rocking to sleep for 40 mins, to sleep for 20 mins...
We still do a pre-bed routine of bath, boob, book, around 6ish, but then go with the flow after that.

sorry, got sidetracked...