8 month old - not sleeping

[Beccanorm82]

Hi
My little boy is 8 months old - he's never been a good sleeper and had a horrendous 4 month sleep regression. At best he has slept all night with one wake up for a breastfeed but I can count how many times on 2 hands,

Previously he'd self settle for naps and bedtime but recently not and he's never been able to self settle at night. Since 6 months he learnt to crawl and stand/ furniture walk and liked to practice these skills at night but he's also been unwell twice, got 6 teeth and we've been away a couple of times which I don't think has helped and has disrupted his sleep. Now he'll only go to sleep if he lies on my bed with me there in some form and I normally transfer him up his cot when he's 80-90% asleep - this works got naps and bedtime about half the time and the other half he's got so distressed from waking himself up in the cot I end up waiting until he's 100% asleep.
Naps are variable - 1 day he had good lengthy naps and the next 3 lots of 30mins
He tends to be asleep by 7 (routine = bath, breastfeed, book, song and then bed) but for the last 2 weeks is waking at 10/11 and standing up in the cot but can normally be settled in the cot - then again at 12/1 when I'm having to feed him but then he wants to sleep In our bed and screams blue murder if put back in his cot drowsy , he can then wake every hour and normally if he's been up lots of times I feed him again around 4 and then let him in our bed (which I don't want to but I'm so tired) just so we get a couple of hours sleep.
He also won't really settle for my husband at night and seems really clingy with me at night but he's fine in the day so I'm not sure if he has separation anxiety or not. We are moving house tomorrow and he will have his own room (previously in ours)
My Qs are:
Is it ok to try CIO if the baby ? Has separation anxiety or would it be cruel: not work?
Would you wait a week to see if he settles in his own room first?
Any other tips?
I'm trying to reduce the time he nurses for in an aim to nightwean but it's not going well 😫
Thanks!

[Sparrowlegs248]

I might add that I don't like to leave him to cry, this has involved no crying. Bit of tired complaining but that's all.

[Sparrowlegs248]

I've done it really gradually. Ds always bf to sleep but it stopped working so I was cuddling. I am pregnant again so needed to start something!

I started by introducing milk at bedtime (bottle refuser so has cows milk in a nuby spouted cup) only took a few nights before he was happy with that instead of bf. Then would do the bedtime routine. Bath, story, milk then cuddles. Into cot with rest of milk, mobile on. First few nights I stood over the cot shushing and patting and singing to prevent the crying. Then I was poorly bloody morning sickness so ended up laying on the floor next to the cot, hand through bars. Then sitting next to the cot. Our room is massive, so it took about 10 moves away to get to the doorway. He now really doesn't pay much attention to me but lays down, watches his lights and drinks his milk. Bloody mobile goes off after 10 minutes though and I have to switch it back on, so am a bit stuck as it watches 20-30 minutes for him to drop off.

But, this is the baby that has never napped in his cot, wouldn't be put down to sleep for about 6 months etc so it's great progress!

[Beccanorm82]

Nottalotta I think gradual withdrawal might work for us too- I've kind of started it by accident as couldn't cope with the crying when I left the room! Baby is still waking but less frequently and goes to sleep with much less fuss if I'm in the room now and we're down from 6/7 wake ups to 2/3 😀 (Although he's wide awake and wants to play at 5 now 🙈)
Any tips on how you've done it? I think I might need to change the room layout to do it properly c

[ALongTimeComing]

This is all normal. It will get better but go with your child's needs at the moment. They are learning to sleep and worrying about where their Mummy is going at the same time. They are only small for a small space of time, there is really no need for CIO. Imagine that you were frightened and needed your Mum! Do what you need to do to get some sleep, bed on the floor, baby in your bed, etc

[Mistletoekids]

How long you leaving for CIO before go back in? Or literally just leaving until back to sleep?

[Mistletoekids]

Oh I'm in same situation!!

Ever since learnt how to sit up / furniture walks, gets into a funny position when sleeping / drowsy eg sitting or standing jn cot and then can't seem to figure out how to get back to sleep

Screams blue murder until I come to sort it out and after recent bad cd and temps now needs BF to get back to sleep

At end of tether! What's the answer!

[Sparrowlegs248]

Gradual withdrawal has worked really well for me. Ds is older, but it's been a revelation. I am doing it very very gradually, but it's working although 4 molars and immunisations in the same week have set us back.

[andonwego]

I am so glad I found this thread!

DD is seven months, and like yours, OP, she has been crawling and furniture-walking for a quite a while now.

She could sleep well until four months, but since then it's got progressively worse. Now she's up AT LEAST every hour, and often stays awake for two hours in the night.

I've brought her back into bed with me (how we started), but it's made no difference at all - she won't just latch on and feed when she wakes, she wakes me up and wants to play and have fun. She just never seems tired!

I'm seriously tempted to try some sleep training - sthg I never thought I'd say :( But I have a five-year-old boy who also needs me, and I am too tired to even think straight right now.

[Beccanorm82]

Thank you! I'm reluctant to try CIO until he's had a week or so in his new surroundings but if it works for you please let me know! These babies are trouble 😉

[user1475742848]

Im in the same situation as you! been 2 weeks now of my 8 month old clinging to me in the night and waking up every hour. I give up and get him bed with me at 4 because Iv had enough. Hes just wide awake at 3 for sometimes 2 hours. I tried CIO last night and made absolutely no difference to him but im going to try again and again. Somethings gotta change. Id put it down to separation anxiety. Wish I had some advice for you but perhaps if CIO works ill let you know x