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Please help me put DS down in cot for naps

31 replies

Eminybob · 22/12/2014 10:40

I've posted before about DS (5 months) only sleeping one during the day (at night he's fine) but I'm getting desperate and really need some help now.

I started last week putting him down after he had fallen asleep feeding, with varied success, about 50% of the time he would wake up, I would then pick him up, rock him and try again. As the week has progressed it has gotten harder and harder to the point today where it just isn't happening at all.

I am desperate, I need to be able to get stuff done/have a rest in those naps but I can't because the only way he'll sleep is on me (or in car/pram if we are out).

I've tried leaving him to self settle but he won't. I know he's knackered but just will not sleep. Although I'm happy to feed/rock him to sleep, I just can't then put him in the cot! I would prefer him to be able to be able to self settle but I'm not prepared to let him cry it out etc. I need some help!

Please can I have your best advice for getting baby to nap in the cot. Thanks.

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RoganJosh · 23/12/2014 16:07

Ok, sorry I got that wrong 123, most people who suggest rusk mean that.

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123upthere · 23/12/2014 09:00

Umm

I never said put a rusk into bottle!

Fgs - it's a rusk in a dish mixed with breast or formula milk and fed by a spoon 3 mouthfuls at most to start - my paediatric doctor actually told me that all 3 of my babies were ready at 5 mths for solids. Hence sitting in upright setting in pushchair being fed helped them & me it did improve their overall daily sleeping routine.

Whatever works OP - prob best to just get on with it and not compare your situ to others, just do what is right for you and baby

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Redling · 22/12/2014 22:46

My DS has decided at 17 weeks to only want to sleep on me again. I just slide out from underneath him and gently place him on the sofa. I don't leave him though as he's not far off rolling, but I do get to move my limbs! I also have far more success putting him in a swing chair to sleep. For an hour or so it's fine as it reclines back. He's still young and naps loads so I don't want to be up and down, in and out of cot all day, when he settles to two sleeps in the day I'll tackle that one!

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waitingforwombat · 22/12/2014 22:42

My DD (now 16 months) was exactly the same. I tried everything - taking her to bed with me, going on long walks, slings. She eventually "got it", and slept in her pram, being rocked, with white noise on (kitchen extractor on loud) at around 10 months. I just tried every few weeks. She didn't sleep for more than 45 minutes during the day until around 1 year (even if I was driving/constantly rocking pram/cuddling her the entire time). She now sometimes sleeps for around 75 minutes at lunchtime, and has never slept for more than 90 minutes during the day in her life!

It was infuriating - I had lots of friends with babies who slept for several hours during the day, and I was always comparing how much I could get done in a day to them, and drove myself crazy with trying everything. In retrospect I wish I had just accepted it, and allowed her to cat nap and realise I'm not going to get anything done - I think the ONLY thing that "fixed" it was time. I was knackered and frazzled and desperate to find the "cure", and feeling like I was doing something wrong - it wasn't, it was just how she was!

I know the fear about nursery - I was really worried about her having to sleep in a cot too, and actually they still put her in a pushchair and rock her to sleep. There are several babies who sleep in bouncy chairs. (Although when we started and I said she only slept for 45 minutes both days they clearly thought that I was bonkers - it was only after she had been there for several months that they also admitted defeat and if she sleeps for an hour her keyworker makes a special note of it in her diary with stars around it!)

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Eminybob · 22/12/2014 22:26

DS is ebf so rusk in milk and bottle in pram ideas cant work unfortunately.

When I put him down for the night earlier he was looking at me smiling as I kissed him goodnight and turned off the light. Then about 2 mins later he was fast asleep. HOW CAN HE DO THIS AT NIGHT BUT NOT IN THE DAY?!?! I just don't get it! I try and recreate night time, close the curtains and put him in the grow bag but he's just not having any of it. Short of bathing him before each nap I can't do much more!

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RoganJosh · 22/12/2014 22:13

I don't really agree with the 'being ready for solids' affecting sleep. Milk is more filling than a bit of roast/mashed carrot.

It's oitdated to mash a rusk into milk. Bits of solid in a bottle are a chokong risk. Plus most rusks have added sugar which I wouldn't want to give a five month old. Also they are wheat based. If you were to wean early I wouldn't be starting with wheat.
Back to the original question, I didn't try getting mine in the cot every time, but just every week or two to see if it worked.
He will get there, probably fairly soon. In the meantime perhaps you need to go to bed mega early and give up the idea of daytime naps. There is nothing worse than hoping for a nap and not getting one! Smile

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123upthere · 22/12/2014 19:56

Or wrap in blanket when it's nap time maybe baby is cold? Maybe ready to start solids? Try mashed rusk in baby milk just before nap time around 10am & 3pm? Then wrap in blanket, dummy in, hold and sway to settle? Then lay into cot

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123upthere · 22/12/2014 19:48

I did this then plonked mysf on sofa rocked buggy with my foot on wheel eventually they do fall asleep - it's in their DNA - you'll get there! Hang in there!

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123upthere · 22/12/2014 19:47

Have you tried giving bottle while in buggy cover front of buggy loosely with a blanket obvs leaving gaps for air

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pootlebug · 22/12/2014 19:46

If he will go off in the pram when you're out, can you walk around the block with the pram (usually works much better than rocking it in my experience) and then come back and let him sleep in the pram indoors once you get in? Don't go far, so that you can get back quickly and rest or get stuff done for the remainder of his nap. Another advantage of him being in the pram is that sometimes you can rock them back to sleep if they grizzle a bit but aren't ready to wake up.

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GotToBeInItToWinIt · 22/12/2014 19:43

I used to go for a period of trying, get too stressed, admit defeat and let her sleep on me, then try again a few weeks later, and repeat and repeat until she finally slept! I remember the first day she slept in her cot for 40 mins while I had a cup of coffee, it was what I imagine heaven to feel like.

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shelfontheelf · 22/12/2014 17:31

My twins only napped in their vibrating bouncy chairs until they were about one. Fisher price do a substantial one, think it was called baby to toddler chair or something like that. They were brilliant.

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Eminybob · 22/12/2014 14:42

But how would you know that they are suddenly going to start doing it? Unless you try them every time but I've decided that that is just far too stressful.

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puddleduck16 · 22/12/2014 13:47

Watching with interest too as I'm hoping for a magic cure for my 10 month!! Think I've tried everything too. I've just learned to accept it. When it's nap time I just make sure I've a cuppy, remote, and use it as my relaxing time.
I just keep hoping she miraculously decides the cot is a great idea!!

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LittleBallOfFur · 22/12/2014 13:15

Oh bless you Eminybob you're not a failure, but we all feel like that from time to time. Flowers

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GotToBeInItToWinIt · 22/12/2014 12:34

Yes she self settles now. I put her down awake, she plays with her lamb for 5 mins and goes to sleep. Seriously never thought we would get to that point though!

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SinkyMalinks · 22/12/2014 11:36

Oh, and still a shit sleeper for me! I just tell myself I'd rather it this way than vice versa.

I've been told that naps are rarely the problem we fear at nursery.

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SinkyMalinks · 22/12/2014 11:35

I can't really help, as my 9 month old is a dreadful sleeper, but I went back to work at 8 months and had the same fears as you - he'll only sleep on me, so what will nursery do?

As it turns out, he sleeps ok (generally) at nursery. Still a cat napper, but not the all out, sleep refusing war I'd expected.

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Eminybob · 22/12/2014 11:35

I want to cry, I've not been able to put him down all morning, I need a shower, he's overtired I feel like such a failure

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LittleBallOfFur · 22/12/2014 11:12

Ps/ I'm on DS2. DS1 was much the same and I stressed about it, but the childminder never had any issues with his napping when he started there (11 months old). And he sleeps fine now. I'm trying to enjoy the cuddles with DS2 when I can, it does pass quickly.

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LittleBallOfFur · 22/12/2014 11:09

I find they go through phases - just as you see a glimmer of a routine it all goes to pot due to teeth, growth spurt, separation anxiety, colds. Maybe just do what you need to to get him to have some sleep so he's not overtired, then try again?

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Eminybob · 22/12/2014 11:06

He won't sleep on my bed either Sad

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Eminybob · 22/12/2014 11:05

I have tried that but rocking the pram either takes an age or just doesn't work.

I think I've just messed everything up this week with keeping trying to put him in the cot. As he keeps waking he's not getting long enough naps and any sort of routine he did have has gone out the window.

I'm so tempted to just throw in the towel and let him just sleep on me.

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RoganJosh · 22/12/2014 11:01

Would you be happy putting him in the bed next to you while you both nap?

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RoganJosh · 22/12/2014 11:00

I used to mine to sleep in a buggy and them leave them in the garden. I had a friend who would rock the buggy back and forth in the kitchen.
From six months old I'd rock them to sleep on a pillow in my arms and then lay them in the cot on top of the pillow. This is a bit slack from a SIDS point of view, I had been super careful til six months and decided I was ok with it.
It was only from about ten months that they'd sleep for more than 40 minutes in the cot though.

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