Stopping feeding to sleep - cold turkey or other props

[Natalie77]

Got to stop bf to sleep. It's so bad now I can't put my boob away, she searches for it and wakes up if I don't get it in her mouth within a few mins (20 at most) and won't take her fingers or mine as a substitute.

Tried pu/pd for one horrid day, and pantleys gradual withdrawal. We're just not at a place where I can get straight to goal (put down, sleep on her own) without a lot of crying, and she's only 3 months.

How did you guys break it? I'm thinking of walking her to sleep. I know shell cry but at leart I'l be with her, and I know it's just another crutch, but maybe not as strong and easier to get to cot in a few months? She won't take a paci either...

[Hedgehogging]

I'm not sure I have much to offer but DD is 15 weeks and I'm just back to work so wanted to figure out an alternative to feed-to-sleep.

To be honest my approach was so mish-mashed I don't know if it even counts as an "approach"!

I started with a classic bedtime routine (hadn't had one before)- PJs, song, feed, bed. Up till then she'd have done non-nutritive sucking for ages before finally conking and falling off boob. So instead I removed boob when she finished the feed proper and then did rocking/walking in my arms and shushing/white noise. When she drifted off I'd gently put her in cot with some white noise on.

Initially she'd wake instantly on hitting the cot, start protesting, and I pick her up and start the rocking again.

This went on for about a week- on nights she was particularly resistant I would "give in" after a bit and boob her again. TBH I was really stressed by it and it made bedtimes reallllly long. And even though it was a theoretically "no cry" approach, in reality DD did often cry in my arms as I tried to calm/rock/cuddle.

So I decided to forget about it after the week or so and just feed her to sleep again. BUT I did the Pantley Pull off (very gently and gradually) and then I'd put her in cot with a hand on her chest and more often than not she'd settle- if not, back to boob. I think the rocking to sleep week, though exhausting, did give her some alternative to boob to sleep.

I started this all around 11 weeks I think because she'd stopped cluster feeding by then and seemed ready for earlier bedtime.

Now, we do bedtime routine, feed till lightly asleep, then into cot with white noise (Ewan the sheep) on as a little prop for her. She's now beginning to master thumb-sucking but the dummy is an alternative (something she used to reject in disgust but I kept gently offering regularly and she'll now take it long enough to nod off)- one or the other and a hand on her chest and I lie my head on her cot side and close my eyes. She usually wakes when put in cot but now, hallelujah, will shuffle a bit, look up at me for the odd sneaky smile, and slowly drift off to sleep.

Seeing that written down makes me so proud of the little mite!

So it was sort of a mix of what I considered a failed week of trying to rock to sleep, a "fuck that" and return to much lovelier (for us both) feed to sleep but with a few gentle changes (bedtime routine, pull off, and white noise), and now a really lovely, cuddly and happy routine that works for us both.

Eventually I'll push the feed back and make it more separate from the sleep bit but not till she's older and more ready.

I do think DD was a bit young during the rock to sleep week (reading stupid sleep blogs was what made me think I needed to change things!) but in hindsight I do think she then transitioned into a more flexible stage then that allowed some softly softly alterations to the boob pattern.

To be fair though she wasn't quite as stuck to boob as your LO but maybe you might find some of this rambling, massive essay helpful? I can't believe I'm giving advice really as I feel I totally spoofed it! But I do now like bedtime again and as PPs have said it's really allowed me to get back to cherishing DD and our lovely nighttime cuddly feeds

[Hedgehogging]

I should add that the rock/walk/shush to sleep week did definitely help and she will now fall asleep for naps while cuddled/rocked in my arms with dummy in. So that's pretty decent! But as it ended up being a gentle "no cry" approach, it did take a good 5 or 6 weeks for us to get to where we are now!

[schokolade]

We've been having similar issues with our six month old Natalie. We've made some progress by having DH lie the baby on the crook of his arm, on her side, in the bed. Basically exactly the position she feeds to sleep on, but with DH. Then, where my nipple would be he puts a dummy for her so Suck. Worked like a charm when nothing else would.

We had to try a few types of dummy. She definitely has preferred ones.

[schokolade]

Oh and ours didn't really take a dummy before this either...

[Natalie77]

Thanks for the hope hedgehogging and schokolade! It's weird you say that, schokolade,I've been persevering with dummies- the old bait and switch nipple out dummy in- with little success. But today I tried it lying down, and moved her so her back was to me, - 'moving the milk'- and her head on my arm, put dummy in and cuddled her close and she slept 2 hrs, with me replacing dummy frequently. Bf position, but away from the milk, as you say.

Wouldn't be a nighttime solution as we couldn't sleep like that, but maybe something getting her used to dummy, not nipple, to sleep. Alas tried her 10 mins ago and fAiled. She was grumpy though, so maybe it'll work again when she's in better humour. Hope at least!