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Does anyone just put their DC in bed and walk out??

32 replies

grounddown · 27/08/2013 10:52

Really?
DS is 7 months, he needs rocking and feeding to sleep, people keep telling me to put him down and walk out but does anyone actually do that? I fed DD to sleep until she was 9 months old and it stopped working, luckily she learnt to self settle quickly. We have issues with her more now at 2.
DS is currently shattered in his cot shouting, I can't see sleep coming any time soon but DD won't leave me alone long enough to settle him.

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Jollyb · 28/08/2013 10:08

With DD1 we were able to do this from around 12 weeks. She'd have a very brief grizzle and then fall asleep within a few minutes.

DD2 is only 6 weeks but already seems to be a higher maintenance baby (though obviously very early days!) .

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grounddown · 28/08/2013 10:01

I've left him to it again, this morning nap is quite easy, the afternoon one is much trickier. I've just got to accept that rod in my back after all the feeding and rocking I've done, probably to comfort me more than him!! He sleeps on his front so maybe it's the rolling over bit that disturbs him. I don't know, I think I'll just have to go with it.

DD was a dream until she climbed out of the cot just before she turned 2. Now we have to sit with her, I don't agree with this but P doesn't mind so I let him do it. It's when she refuses to go to sleep and runs round the house in the nude (loves taking her clothes off ATM) that annoys me but I'm going to tackle that with a child gate soon (I think)......

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ButteryJam · 28/08/2013 09:41

I dream of that day OP, I have hopeSmile

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vix206 · 28/08/2013 07:49

We used to but then DH started laying down with DS for 10 minutes every night (I was poorly for a week after a MC so oblivious to it) and since then we have the situation where he needs someone with him to fall asleep. Including night wakings Confused

Not great now baby number 2 is on the way but I've told DH it's his responsibility Wink

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EsTutMirLeid · 28/08/2013 07:45

Yes but it took us 3 years to get there! ;)

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Cat98 · 28/08/2013 07:45

No - ds is 5 and still needs me to sit with him while he falls asleep!

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Jojay · 28/08/2013 07:42

They're all so different, it's not just about what you do. I've got 4 kids. Ds1 always was a dream and I thought we had this parenting lark cracked. Ds2 was fine once I worked out how to swaddle properly.

Then the twins arrived. Dtd was and still is a dream, dts wasn't bad as a baby but around his first birthday he turned into a nightmare and it's taken the best part of a year of me lying on his bedroom floor before I can now put him to bed and walk away.

Some babies are trainable and some are having none of it, ime.

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Cnix · 28/08/2013 07:10

I think some babies will just go to sleep themselves in their Moses basket and some just cry. Unfortunately dd was the latter. She does self settle now but always cries for a minute before she goes to sleep. With hindsight I wonder if I'd been a bit more in tune with her crying when she was little was she just crying from tiredness a d if I'd left her she'd have gone over. But with her being my first I never wanted to let her cry for a second. Think I'll be a little tougher if there's a DC2.

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StephenFrySaidSo · 28/08/2013 01:28

"Eventually as they grew older they could wiggle their arms out "

Grin I have some brilliant photos of ds1 sleeping with one arm out of his swaddle shooting straight up past his head like a superman pose.

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StephenFrySaidSo · 28/08/2013 01:24

with ds1 I did it from day 1, also swaddled into his crib at 7pm after a feed. he just went to sleep and was consistently a brilliant sleeper 7-7 from about 12 weeks. he was put down awake and fell asleep on his own.

with ds2 I somehow forgot all this and seemed to be holding him all night long until he was about 16 months. I actually started co-sleeping as it was the only way I was getting any sleep.

big difference was that ds1 was formula fed from 7 weeks and ds2 was breastfed til 20 months.

if I was to have another I would do the swaddling, in crib awake at 7pm thing for sure and would try the BFing but wouldn't kick myself if I had to switch to FF to get some decent sleep.

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kickassangel · 28/08/2013 01:20

Yep, until she was nearly three when the night terrors started ...

We did story time etc first, but once she was sleepy, just laid her down and that was it. If it makes you feel better, I had a horrible pregnancy and figure I earns the break.

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chattychattyboomba · 28/08/2013 01:16

Yes. Well- we used to! Until we took the sides off her cot... She's still pretty good (only tries to get out of bed 3 times) Now she has to have (comforters) her entourage: gogo, florence, bunny, blankie, nigh nigh, night light, milk and books read... and sometimes peppa or night garden to complete the ritual! when she says 'but mummy... I want tuddles!' .....
OUCH! How can you say no to that? Well it was good while it lasted (2 years) but they are only little once as I am realising... The earlier days it was vital to my sanity to get that 'me' time after 7pm. Now it's easier day to day I don't mind her creeping into our bed at 5am and poking me with her chubby fingers... Slobbing me with a morning kiss and telling me 'want breakie mummy! Want toast!' Batting those long eyelashes with her duck down fuzzy morning hair... How could I say no to that? (Sorry... Bit carried away!)

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MrsMinkBernardLundy · 28/08/2013 00:32

I did it with my twins too. i think teaching dcs to put themselves to sleep is for their own good in later life. Wish they still did it Hmm

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mumblechum1 · 28/08/2013 00:28

I always did it when mine were little and rarely had a problem. I've never got all this hanging around stroking them to sleep stuff.

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DioneTheDiabolist · 28/08/2013 00:25

Hahaha. I did this with my DS for 4 or 5 weeks when he was about 6months old. 'twas brilliant but it didn't last.

He was 3-4yo before my leaving him in bed, to sleep, was a done deal. Don't sweat it OP.

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valiumredhead · 28/08/2013 00:19

Yes,I used to, he was good at settling down.woke in the night until he was 3 thoughHmm

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poocatcherchampion · 27/08/2013 23:32

we do. only because she has always been fine with it. we don't leave her to cry on the rare occasions she has, but we just don't mess around - in bed, night night and off we go.

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Vajazzler · 27/08/2013 23:19

TBH i did it from birth. All 5 of mine were swaddled. I dont know if it made a difference or not but once they were fed, changed, fed a bit more, winded etc, they were swaddled fairly tightly and popped into their moses basket. There was occasional fussing but no actual crying. Eventually as they grew older they could wiggle their arms out but for mine this wasnt until 4-5 months and they still started their naps swaddled. At some point they moved into grobags, think it was 6 months, but the routine didnt change. Even now they all hop into bed with a kiss and its lights out. They are 10/9/7/6/3.

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LittleMilla · 27/08/2013 16:19

Btw - my ds1 is now 2.4 and has been left to his own devices since about 12 weeks.

I just wondered if babies exist that don't have to be cajoled in any way to sleep. Dh thinks they're a myth and I get worked up for no reason trying to make ds2 one of them!

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LittleMilla · 27/08/2013 16:16

I have a qu for the people that did it from birth. Did you babies just drift off without any crying?

I have an almost 6 week old that has been wired from day 1 it seems. Tried hard to just pop him down but he'll instantly start crying after a few mins. I'm now using a dummy and white noise as a way of not rocking him - he doesn't seem to like being fed to sleep! But even that is hit and miss.

This is ds2. First one was left to whinge from about 9 weeks but I thought him not nodding off was perhaps me installing bad habits. We've tried to do things differently this time but it's not really working!

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teacher123 · 27/08/2013 15:12

Yes since DS was four months old (16mo now). He stopped feeding to sleep and won't be rocked/cuddled to sleep etc. Sometimes he whinges for a few minutes, sometimes he goes silent immediately and just goes straight to sleep.

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brightonbythesea · 27/08/2013 14:30

I do. And I'm very glad I started doing it, it saves me a lot of time!

95% of the time she will chat/gently moan and then fall asleep within 10 minutes or so. Occassionally she goes crazy (usually when OT) in which case I will return to her, check nappy etc, give her a cuddle then put her back down.

She won't be rocked or fed to sleep if I try so there's no point, she just gets worked up when she is intefered with.

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Vajazzler · 27/08/2013 11:24

Yes I do. Always have. I did the bath/feed/story thing from very early then into grobag, kiss goodnight pop them into bed and I was off! From birth I never did the rocking to sleep thing. Once they were fed and changed and snuggled they went into the Moses basket and didn't know any different.

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Safyre · 27/08/2013 11:14

DS is almost 1 and at nights gets a bottle (downstairs with us), gets bathed (if it's a bath night) and put into his pyjamas and then goes to bed with his dummy and his bear, and some lullabys playing. He's never been fed to sleep. He is the same during the day for his naps - gets put in his cot with his dummy and bear and left to go to sleep.

It would never have occurred to me to do it any differently. Yes, some nights he cries for a wee whle (rarely more than a few minutes) and some nights we have to go back up and resettle him because he's bouncing in the cot, but mostly it works.

Like wannabe said - if he's hysterical, we'll go and get him. If he's just tired, then getting him up just keeps him awake longer.

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grounddown · 27/08/2013 11:12

I definitely agree on different cries, there is a definate 'I'm tired' whinge.

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