Right. Can we get this straight about co-sleeping?

[OutsideOverThere]

I've been told twice in the last week not to co-sleep, first by a HV at clinic, then by the GP when I asked her to clarify.

I'm assuming these are government guidelines but have they recently changed?

I co slept with ds1 and ds2 and am now doing so with ds3, who is 8 weeks old. Heck I even had a long quote in the MN book on babies a few years ago, on this very topic but now suddenly I feel rather alone and a bit worried that no one else is doing it, it's all terribly wrong anddangerous and I need to stop now.

I love co sleeping. Ds2 is still in the bed and he's nearly 6. But I wanted to check on here as I've always got the impression from this place that co sleeping is good, and wholesome and best for the baby.

And isn't it the case that babies regulate their breathing better when next to their parent? I'm sure I read this somewhere.

Help

[OhMyNoReally]

I co-slept for the first month or two and the dc were swaddled. After they slept for around 4 hours between feeds I put them in their cot as it worked for us as a family. I also swaddled for 4 months, just recently stopped as ds wanted his hands for comfort, before they had annoyed him.

I was very suprised this time round to be told not to swaddle I couldn't understand why this age old method of putting baby to sleep was suddenly frowned upon.

Co-sleeping wasn't much of a suprise, as in 2010 with dc3 it was a bit questionable by hv and mw, but had been encouraged with dc1+2. It's so annoying and confusing when the advice keeps changing. No wonder parents get annoyed with hvs.

[Gingerbreadlatte]

A genuine question not criticism - how does it affect relationships with partners? It wouldn't work for me for that reason. I'd really like to understand this point better?

[worldgonecrazy]

gingerbread you just need to get imaginative.

[Gingerbreadlatte]

World gone crazy- im not just talkjng aviut sex! ok, so said child is with mother at all times. Doesn't nap alone.

[Gingerbreadlatte]

I said genuine question. No need to e rude.

[Gingerbreadlatte]

I'm talking about emotional stuff as much as anything.

[showtunesgirl]

I don't think anyone was rude.

[Gingerbreadlatte]

Ok sorry- I'm overreacting a bit ( and got a child keeps pressing post on my phone)

It's massive point for me and I'm not co-sleeping. I can't be imaginative here

[Mama1980]

I co slept with ds1 and intend too with ds2 both were extremely prem. Before I was discharged first time from hospital my guidelines form the nicu were:
No pillows, use covers towels,
No alcohol or medication
Not if you smoke
Use blankets of possible rather than a duvet and a firmish mattress.

[5madthings]

Co-slept with all of ours, youngest is 26mths sand still co-sleeps and you can still have a bedtime routine etc. Ours all went onto their own beds happily at about 3yrs old. Never had a cot!

Relationship wise its fine, its recommended for a baby to sleep in the same room as its parents for days and night sleep for the first 6mths anyway.

You find time for each other, 5 kids and 15yrs later our relationship is fine. Even if you don't co'sleep its hard when they are little but they aren't little for long! And time co-sleeping meant more sleep so we were happier and more able to make time for each other.

[5madthings]

No one has said they don't nap Aline, my dd has a nap in our bed every afternoon for about two hours. But under 6mths if age no they slept with us around and as they got older they would sleep in our bed, we just settled them to sleep and then left them safe in bed.

[BertieBotts]

Gingerbread I think we're as bemused as each other I don't see how co-sleeping could affect anything emotionally with a partner. No more than any other effect of having a new baby, anyway.

[MrsSham]

Dd is 7 now and I was told by HV at every visit not to co sleep and it was recorded in dds red book, it actually stopped me taking dd to clinic which was a shame as I was actually in need of advice on feeding. But just couldn't bothered justifying ir being told I must stop co sleeping.

[pixiegumboot]

I did with both, still do with one, wouldn't tell anyone 'official ' tho mainly because I can't be arsed with the cats bum face

[worldgonecrazy]

gingerbread I didn't mean to be rude, and apologies if my post did read that way, it wasn't intended.

Emotinally it is fine. There is evidence to show that co-sleeping makes children more secure and independent, so actually, long term, it means we can make more time for ourselves. Of course the first few months with any newborn can be hardwork, but I found cosleeping lessened parental guilt, meant I wasn't fighting my instincts to cuddle my child, and that mine and DH's relationship grew stronger. As someone upthread mentioned, more sleep for all of us meant that we were less knackered and could make time for each other too.