Others who always have baby in room with them -advice for visiting friend

[AliceWChild]

As per the guidance, we are always in the room with sleeping baby. For various reasons I need to do this. So in the evening he sleeps cuddled on me till we all go to bed.

I'm trying to work out what to do if we are visiting friends. I know they have a different approach and will suggest putting him in another room with monitors. How do other people deal with this? It doesn't feel right to get into a whole SIDS guidelines discussion. But how to explain it without?

I feel like that is a right old ramble but I'm confused and I know from another thread there are others like me out there. Which was a relief to find.

[AliceWChild]

Thanks 1500. At the risk of sounding fick as I'm not great with stats, does that mean only 11.5% of daytime deaths weren't where they were on front or with covers on head?

[comixminx]

Thanks 1500, very useful! You see these summaries but if you haven't got access to the journal there's a lot of the picture that can be missing. Also, is there any more info about the car seat thing? I know they can't lie flat in a car seat so you're not supposed to have them in it for hours regularly, but I would say that DS naps in his car seat (which is on the pram) most days for an hour or two. Clearly he can't roll over or cover his head with the covers in that, so the risk for car seats must be something else.

[1500mmania]

Hi Alice - I can't say for sure as some may have been a combination of the two - rolled onto front & covers on the head (iyswim) but either way the majority of them seemed to have an additional factor putting them at risk.

commix - I don't think it does mention anything else about the car seats it just gives a reference to another study. From looking at that other study it reports, 'Several studies have shown that cardio-respiratory function is compromised in 18.4% to 30.0% of preterm infants tested in a car seat possibly due to excessive head flexion leading to restriction of the upper airway. Preterm infants are particularly prone to head flexion when they are placed in an upright position and therefore more vulnerable to hypoxia and apnea when their neck is flexed' (note preterm infants though = < 37 weeks gestation)

Research is a funny beast and if you look for long enough you can always find something that backs up your opinion (I should know I'm an academic!). I think the important thing is that guidelines are just guidelines and they may be based on research but that doesn't ness mean that it is good research! (iyswim). Obviously take them into account but at the end of the day you have to do what is best for you & your family. Both myself and DS would have gone insane with lack of sleep if I had him in the same room as me all the time and he was in his own room from 3 weeks (gulps).

At the end of the day Alice just do what feels right for you and sod everyone else xxx

[Andcake]

Just thought I would pipe in as another who is always in the same room with ds when he sleeps. (Ok for some naps I may pop to make a cuppa but the radio is usually on so hopefully that would stop the scary deep sleep). That's just how I understood the guidelines. When visiting others I just get on with it and don't raise it as a conversation issue and no one not even my out dated parents have. I think parenting books are v confusing with their conflicting SIDS advice and then talking about bedtime routines at 7 pm. Personally ds has a two part bedtime routines a chilling out into pjs round 7pm and into the sling then at around 10 he is gently stirred and a feed and nappy change and into his cot in our room. Now he's 6 mo and we are going to try getting him to bed earlier I think I'm going to miss the snuggles.