CC info, advice & tips please

[Murtette]

After a lot of thought, we're trying CC tonight and, as I've been doing it, have realised that there's a lot I don't know about what I'm supposed to be doing.

DD is almost 11 mo. From 5mo to 9mo she was sleeping through from 7.30 - 7.00 90% of the time and since then what happens at night has been anyone's guess. She used to be able to self settle but has completely lost that ability, hence introducing CC.

So, we did normal bedtime routine and I put her down at 7.30pm and left her for 3 mins, went in, lay her down again, left again with her still crying, went in after 3 mins etc. I did 4 x 3mins, 4x 4mins and 4 x 5 mins and then she fell asleep (so about 45 mins in total).

First question - do I just lie her down and say "sleepy time now" and leave her or should I soothe her before I leave again?

She woke up after she'd been asleep for an hour and at first was just grizzling like she used to when she was self settling herself but after about 10 mins, that turned into crying.

Second question - should I have gone in 5 mins after I first heard her after she woke up or 5 mins after she started crying?

Third question - if she's quiet, should I leave her or still go in at intervals? What happens if she's quiet but I think she's standing up? Actually, what do I do when I hear her stand up during one of the intervals - go straight in or wait until I'm supposed to be going in again (I was doing the latter as she knows how to sit down once she's standing).

Fourth (and final!) question - should I do the same intervals tomorrow evening or do longer intervals.

Thanks!

[Murtette]

Bump...

Last night went tolerably well but I'd love to know the answers to the above questions before launching into night two.

I also have another question - during the intervals, should I be somewhere where she can't hear me or is it OK to be bumbling around upstairs, putting away clothes, sorting out paperwork and otherwise making low level noise.

Thanks

[bippyhippy]

I used this controlled crying method which worked well for me. I think the idea behind it is that you go in as often as you like, whenever LO is becoming distressed, but you just remind her you're there and go out again. It can be hard but worked well for us... sorry mumsnetters

[Igglybuff]

Have you checked to make sure she's not teething? That messed up my DS's ability to self settle big time. He went through quite a bad spell with his teeth after the first two which lasted for ages.

[Murtette]

Iggly - tell me about it! Teething was the start of all of the problems. Well, that and separation anxiety. She'd been sleeping through for 3 or 4 months before her teeth started bothering her and after that she could be up umpteen times a night. We've been waiting for her to be well in herself and have had a few consecutive days of good daytime naps & feeds before we tried any form of sleep training which was why we ended up starting last night. I wouldn't have the heart to try CC or restrict night feeds if I thought she was teething or was otherwise unwell.

[Igglybuff]

Fair enough! How did it go? I'm not one for CC myself but have the Ferber book which explains how it works.

[littlemissindecisive]

If she's quiet but awake I;d leave her alone. DS1 used to get worse the more fussing i did with him and genuinely need to have a cry for a few minutes to go to sleep. Anything we did just wound him up.

I assume you've tried to eliminte reasons for her sudden waking? My DD went through a phase of this at 13 months as she was overtired. Once i fixed her daytime naps and adjusted them she went back to sleeping though. She was having great daytime naps but at the wrong time of day. Going to bed great but then really unsettled at nights.

[Murtette]

Bippy - thanks for that link. It was very helpful.

Little - I've had the overtired problem before. This time, I think it was bad habits from when she'd had separation anxiety and then teething and was used to waking up and getting cuddles & being rocked or taken into bed with us. I am paying much more attention to how much she's eating during the day and, if its less than normal, giving her an extra feed before bathtime as well as at bedtime (about an hour later as she loves the bath and so spends a good 30 mins in there).

Iggly - a week ago, I was with you! I just got to the stage when I realised that bedtime was involving lots of tears anyway so thought I'd give it a go. Yesterday we only had 10 mins on tears (and so two visits from me) followed by 10 mins of the grizzling noise when she used to do when she self settled (so I left her to it) and she only woke once at 2am when I went in after 5 mins and said it was sleepy time and lay her down. She woke at 6.30 so I thought that would do for that night so leapt into some clothes and went in, opened the curtains and said "Time to get up. Isn't it a lovely day" only to look out of the window and see it was more or less still dark and raining! Oh well! I then got her dressed and brought her downstairs for play time whereas previously she came into bed with us for a snuggle in the morning. I'm trying to distinguish between how I respond in the morning and at night.

We'll see how tonight goes!

[Igglybuff]

at opening the curtains to rain. I hope the nights get better for you!

[Murtette]

The weather has continued to conspire against me as there was a massive thunder and lightening storm just as I was putting DD down! Luckily, she'd fallen asleep whilst I was feeding her and as there'd been an introductory rumble, I didn't bother waking her as I probably should have done.