Weird post deletions

[BeyondASpecialSnowflake]

Can I clarify - is telling someone they are wrong or are patronising you considered a personal attack? I wouldn't say so, but I interpret things wrong sometimes!!
I ask because there seem to be some weird deletions around...??

[BeyondASpecialSnowflake]

I would count saying something negative about a person directly as a personal attack. Saying they have done something negative (to use the example of "always popping up, saying something funny and leaving again") isn't.

That's how I view it anyway. Clearly I am wrong.

[RiverTam]

And how would you have 'dealt with it' usual? Because that sounds like something ludicrous out of Eastenders.

[BeyondASpecialSnowflake]

I think another might have been saying someone was being patronising. Is that a personal attack? How often on here does someone tell someone off for being patronising or a bloke pops up and gets told he is mansplaining. Is that a personal attack?

The trouble with deleted posts is that once they've gone they could have said anything, so I can't go back and quote. They may well have actually been horrible attacks, but they didn't jump out as such when I read it.

[pippitysqueakity]

Well, now you know about this one. It was an attack and it was personal.

[pippitysqueakity]

And this is a TAAT.

[Mummyshortlegz]

Play the ball, not the (wo)man. Simple.

[BeyondASpecialSnowflake]

So "that thing you said was really patronising" = okay
"you are being patronising" = PA
?

[BeyondASpecialSnowflake]

That is helpful. Like I said, I only ever thought of it as being actual direct insults.

[IfTheCapFitsWearIt]

If you are referring to deleted posts on the same thread as the example given?

I read it and to be honest it wasn't pleasant reading. So although I can't remember of the top of my head which posts, I'm not surprised that there were posts deleted.

[EttaJ]

I've noticed it too OP . Some really harmless things deleted. Oh and for what it's worth myrain I don't think it's a personal attack and inmho it was not untrue.

[BeyondASpecialSnowflake]

It wasn't pleasant, people were arguing. Nothing jumped out to me as beyond the guidelines though, or I would have noticed and reported.

The point of this, is I want to know if I have misinterpreted guidelines, and it seems I have. So there we go :)

[RustyBear]

Saying a particular comment is negative/patronising/mansplaining is (generally) ok, but when you say a poster usually does something negative, that's attacking the poster, not the comment. That's not ok.

[BeyondASpecialSnowflake]

It is really not to do with any particular poster (anyway, random posts on both sides have been deleted!).
Though obviously the people who were on the thread are gonna carry on here now...

[BeyondASpecialSnowflake]

Stupid thing is, I say the "play the ball not the man" thing. I just hadn't linked "you are being patronising" as the same as "you are being an arsehole"

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

Yes, it was a pa on Usual. It is blindingly obvious that it is.

The deletions are not consistent on here because posts which break the talk guidelines are only deleted if they have been reported. There isn't a mn moderator watching every thread and modding it as it goes along. Do you understand this aspect of it?

[WannaBe]

Have no idea which thread this is about, but posting to someone that they always pop up on threads etc as per usual's example is a personal attack, of course it is. Especially given it refers to the poster in general rather than one particular posting on one particular thread.

That being said, I've seen posts deleted where e.g. A poster tells another one they're being deliberately obtuse, or patronising, in reference to the subject at hand. IMO that's not a personal attack it's an opinion.

Usual was perfectly justified in reporting the blatant personal attack on her, but there are some posters who cry personal attack just because someone disagrees with them who probably need to step away from the Internet...

[KatherineMumsnet]

We take each report on a case-by-case basis, but generally we do consider character assassination to be against TG's - it's a personal attack and certainly not in the spirit. Saying that someone is patronising in itself isn't something we would normally delete, it depends on context and how it was phrased.

[BeyondASpecialSnowflake]

Yes thank you. Your "do you understand" comment could be viewed as a tad patronising though, if I were feeling argumentative.

[BeyondASpecialSnowflake]

Thank you wannabe. As I said, it wasn't just usuals comment, there were a good deal that all went poof together. If I wore a tinfoil hat, I might suggest someone went through and reported loads in one go to make the thread look all holey

And thank you Katherine. Again, wish I had the quotes. I don't suppose you are able to look at all of them and see? I imagine that's a lot to ask though!

[RustyBear]

But you asked whether you had misinterpreted guidelines, and mentioned that you sometimes find things difficult to interpret, so I don't think it was particularly patronising of Bibbity to ask if you understood her explanation.

[BeyondASpecialSnowflake]

I know, I was just saying it could be. I don't feel patronised :)