Can we have a discussion about online safety?

[MmeLindor]

Its not really a thread about a thread about a thread, and please don't turn it into a bunfight but I think it has to be said.

1. You don't know who the person on the other side of the screen is. I might be a naice middle-aged mum from Scotland. I might be a hairy-handed trucker from Milnathorpe. You don't know for sure.

1. No one on here can 100% vouch for another poster. We can say 'I've met that person in RL and she seemed fine/genuine/luffly' and we can say 'I've conversed for several years with this person online and as far as I know she is a real person'. We cannot say for sure.

1. MNHQ cannot vouch for a poster. They are not the FBI, they have no special powers to snoop around (even if they had the time to do this).

1. For this reason, do not EVER arrange to meet a poster from MN at their home, your home or in a secluded location. It should go without saying.

These are basic internet security tips. The kind that we give to our kids. I would really like if MNHQ would comment/add their own tips.

[PetiteRaleuse]

Looks like I already said that upthread.

[PetiteRaleuse]

Excellent idea

[BoreOfWhabylon]

I think that would be an excellent idea Amy.

[AmyMumsnet]

Hi everyone, we're aware this is a zombie thread which has been reactivated but if there is still a demand for an online safety webchat we'd be happy to consider it.

[DuckandCat]

Yes I agree.

I've also seen on threads comments such as 'I can come and sit with the kids, I'm CRB checked'.

Who would let some random off the Internet into their home to look after their children. I would also be VERY wary of someone who thought this is an appropriate thing to offer.

I think the odd reminder is good for everyone.

[MmeLindor]

We could just go with this

"TheDoctrineOfSnatch Thu 30-Jan-14 19:50:48
Site policy on safety: scottishmummy's "trust nae fucker""

[MmeLindor]

Pistey
I have been at people's homes and had them here, but not on first meeting and not when there is a potential violent ex hanging around.

[Hulababy]

I have met a few MNetters over the years Initial meeting though was always in a public place and normally with several people.

I am RL friends with some of those now, and one in particular who we see as a fmily very often have holidayed with, etc. So I could vouch for them in the same way I could vouch for any other RL friend.

[RatherBeOnThePiste]

I've met folk at their homes and I've had one come to my home when handing over a Woolly Hug.

Sort of feels different, guess it's not, I do hear what you are saying.

[magimedi]

Very good idea and well overdue.

Some people are far too trusting (or gullible?).

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

There was a warning going around FB a while ago saying don't automatically share those 'my darling wife is lost' posts as it could be someone non-legit.

It's the same here.

[MmeLindor]

Gosh
yes, I agree.

Would be good tie in wiht Internet Safety Day, Hula.

[GoshAnneGorilla]

This is a very good idea.

I also think people need to be cautious about the emotional/mental impact of getting over involved in other people's problems. Support and hands hand holding can be great, but it can be easy to give too much of yourself.

[MmeLindor]

Someone also mentioned on the other thread - the being sure who you are meeting goes both ways.

If a woman is fleeing a DV situation, she shouldn't be meeting some random person from MN. There are some odd folks about, who love to feed off the drama of others.

[Hulababy]

It is Safer Internet Day on Feb 11th: www.saferinternetday.org/web/guest;jsessionid=0932F36900F21D0104D81D4655D7E483

Could be a good link/tie in

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Yes.

I have to say, one of the things that concerns me hugely is that people seem to think 'information' or 'outing' refers to something very detailed. When DV is in question, it could be something as minor as confirmation you've seen someone in a particular place, or that they're expected to go somewhere at a particular time. Really small details can be really important.

[MmeLindor]

Yes, that would be good.

I do think that when people are doing things like calling police to verify crime numbers, it would be good to have clarification on how much that actually tells one.

And how to protect one's own identity, if there is a risk of the abusive ex finding out that it is being discussed on MN.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Good thread, Mme.

I think the idea about getting advice for us all to link to about how to respond in situations with DV is brilliant. It would be helpful for so many people beyond this kind of situation.

Would also be useful to have some guidelines about how anonymity works - both in terms of MN not being able to vouch for us, and in terms of how easily people can be traced. Because that was obviously a really scary worry on that thread.

[MmeLindor]

That is a good point, Artex.

If MNHQ were to post on a thread, then the newer posters would at least be made aware - most are totally oblivious about trolls. Then at least there is no excuse for being totally gullible and believing everything.

[DrankSangriaInThePark]

Given that a lot of women might now be very worried about the info of WA answering phones and confirming that a booking has been made I'd like it if HQ could speak to them and get a statement confirming what information they do/do not give out.

To set people's minds at rest.

[MrsDeanAmbrose]

Perhaps MNHQ could get together with Refuge and Women's Aid to work out an appropriate response, and how they think posters should proceed.

I think this is a really good idea, and I think a webchat/something similar with WA would be useful because there are a lot of misconceptions about what they are practically able/willing to do to support people fleeing DV.