Less than a week to go, undecided and shafted . .

[gypsyme]

Am feeling completely furked and spun out now. Pan London Form needs filling and submitting by friday. Nothing obvious for my dd. local schools all indepependent or CofE. She is baptised and attends CofE priary but we do not attend church and do not have the blessed record. There is truly sweet FA left to choose from. One CofE fab school in the borough but 600 kids trying for the 40 non church places.

Am desperate. If I wasn't a working single mum I would seriously consider home ed.

Anyone else in this kind of predicament or are you all sorted out there?

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCake]

Have you been back to the church she was baptised in and asked them if they have a copy of the certificate? They normally have records.

[gypsyme]

got it but that's not sufficient, need a church attendance record to apply for a chuch place.

Sorely tempted to clal the vicar who baptised her and has now moved on. Am ready to beg for a reference. JC what has happened to my egalitarian principles. Am truly desperate. All the other parents have submited their forms and were smart enough to go to church, A couple who didn't have taken their local vicars out for posh dinners!

On principle I should settle for the local comp but it is really shite. The kids are clearly visible scrambling out of the school fence onto the main road, smoking at the bus stop and the gcse results are grim. dd is at a really sweet, small primary and has no idea of this dilemma . . .

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCake]

Private? She may get a busary if you are on a low income so you may not have to pay?

[seeker]

So where do the people who aren;t church goers or rich go? Or is it too awful to contemplate?

it may not be, you know - it's worth having a look.

[gypsyme]

unbelievably, we are the only family who are not applying for church or private sector. feel horribly incompetent. the thing that freaks me out about a bursary place is the pressure of keeping up with costs of school trips etc but guess i shoudn't rule it out as a possibility. would never fit in though.

local comp is scary. it all feels horribly unfair but hey who said life was anyway. just such a pivotal decision and really worried.

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCake]

There are alsorts of parents and families in the private sector, they just want what's best for their child. I'm a single mum, ds is private.

Look around the local comp though. Chat to the head. You may be surprised.

[Quattrocento]

This is a truly damning indictment of faith schools. I am sorry for your predicament and I hope you resolve matters soon.

[gypsyme]

thankyou for your responses, it has helped. maybe i should re-consider the bursary option.

I did hear the head speak at local comp and quite liked him.

problem with my corner of london is that the schools are all so horrendously over subscribed that you really only have one first choice on your caf form.

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCake]

IMO it's the head that makes the school. The teachers are important but the head is the one you need to control the children. The scary the better, they will keep in line if there's a certain amount of fear, even if it is not true.
People think that private schools are for the rich, this isn't so. I have met so many parents who work in Asda or Debenhams and send their child to a private school beause they want the best for them, they outweigh the ones that think it's a right. They are mostly women like me. Explore all of the options, there are always options.

[gypsyme]

thanks phantom. i'm self employed with no financial help from ex-P to support 2 dd's. we manage pretty well though.

am encouraged by your post.

awful moment a couple of days ago when dd's friend came for tea and saw the prospectus for local comp on our dining table. she said 'oh my god, my mum and dad have both said there is NO way I;m going to that school' aaaaaaagh . . .

off to sleep on it and re-think.