Superselective girls grammar: what kind of girl thrives?

[OxOwl2]

In a couple of weeks, we will be offered a superselective grammar for our DD. The back-up is the local independent which doesn't get as high results at GCSE (no where near). We didn't do much prep with DD as she is already at the independent. We didn't expect her to get into the superselective grammar. She is naturally very intelligent and musical, self challenges and asks for extra homework (at the moment, she stupidly does this in front of the cooler/sportier girls and then gets made fun of - which she then agonises about. She also stays in at lunch to make her work perfect etc). For some reason, she just doesn't identify with the typical type of girl who goes to the grammar. She has been programmed to think they aren't cool as she is so desperate to be cool/accepted herself. The irony! So if you have a similar daughter, what kind of school did you find your DD flourished in? Or will she inevitably just have to go through this phase wherever she goes until she finds and accepts herself? What do you all think? Especially if you have a DD like mine or were like this yourself. Unfortunately I have a totally different personality type and it is difficult for me to relate. I just got on with things, didn't care much about what others thought so ironically was always considered cool at school, despite doing OK academically.

[OxOwl2]

Because of where we live we don’t have access to a top indie like St. Paul’s girls school - not sure DD would have gotten in anyway and I think there she would have been a medium fish in a huge pond. I have a friend who is ex oxbridge who teaches at one of the top Indie London boys schools. When you look at the teaching staff of these top indies so many are ex oxbridge themselves. So I reckon that helps hugely with getting into oxbridge - the kids are very clever, in small classes and the teachers take them to deeper levels in class ie beyond a level so when it comes to oxbridge entrance tests they have a head start over equally clever grammar school kids especially in subjects where confidence and ability to argue/discuss is still a criteria