Do you let your DC do homework (on laptop) in their bedroom?

[stirling]

Or only downstairs where you can keep an eye on what they're doing?

I've got controls on the computers etc, bought them each a light portable laptop. I do get sick of the endless homework related clutter that mounts every evening and is never properly cleared away. We so often eat our dinner on a table that's scattered with books, stationery, laptops etc.

But if I send them up to their rooms I feel like I'm limiting our 'togetherness'. Not sure I'm making sense but both get tons of homework, their school is crazy.

Thank you

[Fizzypoo]

My dd gets on with it in her bedroom (yr 9) and has always done so.

Ds ( yr 8) needs a bit more input to make sure A he does it and B he does it to a half decent standard so it's a mixture of bedroom or living room.

[BrokenWing]

We are fortunate our small garage is converted into a room and we have in there a full sized office desk/storage & shelving etc. We use it when I WFH, for self employed dh to do admin and for ds to do homework/study.

If you don't have space for them to study, away from any disruptions/distractions, their bedroom is probably the best place to be, but I agree with others 4 hours of homework sounds like madness. I would be tempted to temporarily get a little more involved with it to see if it is really 4 hours.

Ask what they have to do that night and get them to do it piece by piece with 10 min break between (or every 30-40 mins) to come down and let you know how they are getting on/what they have done/did they find it easy or hard/what they are doing next and how long do they expect it to take. Do they need the laptop/phone for the next piece of work, if not suggest they leave it downstairs. Encourage them that the more they focus the quicker homework will be done and they will then have the rest of the evening to themselves.

Until you determine if they are procrastinating/getting distracted/struggling with a subject(s)/have too much homework you won't know what needs fixed.

[HandsOffMyRights]

My two (y9) do their homework in their rooms on desktop computers. They probably spend no longer than an hr or so on homework and play games, have showers etc and then hang out together or with us if we're lucky!

Four hours for homework is excessive and I would definitely be looking at why it was so long.

I'd love to see them more, but they're teenagers and my brother was the same growing up in the 70s and 80s. He was in his room for hours.

I know I'd like more togetherness, but as an adolescent I liked space away from my parents (though I was generally at my friend's) and I think that's a natural rites of passage for teens.

We spend more time together at weekends, but in the week I mainly leave them to it.

[RedSheep73]

Mine do theirs upstairs. They need to learn to work independently, without me breathing down their necks. That's more important than the quality of any individual piece of work, I think.

[shouldhavecalleditoatabix]

How old are the dc op? Mine does homework most days and it varies a lot but I would think the maximum she spends is 2 hours and usually it's around 30 mins to 1 hr. she is yr8. 4 hours a night sounds like a lot of homework.

[HandsOffMyRights]

Red couldn't agree more!

[hoxt]

DD rotates around the entire house leaving a trail of destruction in her wake 🤬🤬🤬. So that’s nice 🙄. She’s 14, in y10. I think she’d take very badly indeed to us telling her where to do her homework. As long as she’s doing it, I really don’t care where she does it. She does get asked to tidy up all her crap on a regular basis.

[Zinnia]

DD (Y7) has unfortunately demonstrated that she can't be relied upon to get on with her homework if she's not in the same room as DH or me, so it's screens in the kitchen only now. Hope to god that changes with time!

[LoveAutumnsky]

I think it will depend on their age and personality. DC1 have always stayed in his room and shut the door even without homework after he turned into a teenager. We normally just have a snack and relax time downstairs after school, then he is in his room till the dinner time. I would call him out regularly to have a break. We initially insist screen time downstairs, then by GCSE years, we let him take control himself. DC1 is quite sensible and has good self control though.

DC2 is a different matter, he is not a teenager yet, but he stays on his ipad and mobile all the time if possible. I have to insist he keep these downstairs, so I can actually keep his screen time under control. So he does his homework downstairs. He actually stays downstairs all the time to be close his phone and ipad . This is a big issue for me at the moment, as I don't want to be that mum that constantly take way his phone, but I can't let him just do it.

[reluctantbrit]

It depends on the subject. Maths and Spanish is normally done only on the laptop, English depends. That all is ok to be done in her room is DD wants.

History needs supervision and help so that is done at the dining table so we have space for two.

As DH and I work DD is alone anyway until 6pm so we don’t see each other anyway. DH works from home but has often telcos between 4-6pm so he can’t deal with her anyway.

At secondary school level I also wanted to be as far away from my mum as possible.

[Strugglingtodomybest]

I think my DC, both teenagers, do most of their homework at school in free periods.
I do help them with their science revision, but that's more me just firing questions at them at random times.

Both my boys like their own space, as do I and DH, so they spend a lot of time in their own rooms and then we all get together for an episode of the latest box set we're watching in the evening. I also try to have us eat at the table as much as I can stand it - it normally involves DH getting irate over manners, even though I'm sure they're both winding him up nowadays .

[eenymeenyminyme]

DD16 does hers on her own in her room. I'm fully aware that she's spending all half her time watching youtube but she's the one who will get into trouble if she doesn't do it. I'd only get involved if the teachers contacted me to say it was a problem, which has only happened a couple of times in the nearly 5 years she's been doing it.

[HeyMissyYouSoFine]

They do - but I do check on them - to make sure phones haven't taken over -and it's really from year 8 onwards and they will come down if they need another computer - if it's faster or if they need help.

Older they get more they seem to prefer their rooms - I've never sent them there it's their choice just provided the furniture - though haven't for primary aged child yet as room is tiny so will take some doing.

They have option of kichen table, breakfast bar or computer/tables in front room often where they go when they need help from us - though they still try for laps or floor in backroom in front of TV.

[BackforGood]

4 hours a night is ridiculous.
It is that you need to be focusing on
It isn't a HT issue though. Contact either form teacher in first place or Head of Year.
That is a ridiculous and unsustainable amount of time. Mine never did that even when doing GCSEs and A-levels - not every night, anyway - they might have 'saved up' one night to allow themselves other nights off.
How old are your dc?
You need to find out if they are somehow taking twice as long as they should (though I'm not sure how, night after night?) or if there is an issue with the way it is set.

Do the school have some sort of Parent's Forum (which can go under all sorts of different names) ?

[MarchingFrogs]

As long as she’s doing it, I really don’t care where she does it.

Totally our attitude, although I really do prefer DS2 to stick to hiding away in his room, rather than deciding that tonight, homework has to be done under our feet, spread out on the living room floor.

[SnowsInWater]

16yo DD tends to do her homework on her laptop on her bed. Our house is all on one level though so she is only a few meters away from the kitchen which is handy for snacks 😊 She is my third, my standards have slipped......

[rhubarbcrumbles]

Yes, they do their homework wherever (and whenever) they choose. I can see online if they are handing in homework or not so I'd know if there was a problem, there hasn't been so I let them get on with it.

If homework wasn't being done then they'd have to do it downstairs.

[lumpy76]

I never interfere with homework. They do it how they want, where they want and when they want to. If they don't then they deal with any consequences. Worked for my senior teacher mother with myself and my 4 siblings, for my head teacher Uncle and for me. Eldest DD is in her first year studying Pharmacology at a RG university. Ds1 is about to sit his A levels - he has ADHD so will probably not achieve as high grades as he is intellectually but he will be ok and get to where he wants. No complaints from the secondary school re undone work for other ds. I'm totally against homework in Primary schools other than reading up until yr 6 but help Dd in yr 3 with hers.

[lumpy76]

*as he might intellectually

[lifeisgoodagain]

Of course, they need to be self sufficient at some point. We have an office they used but I certainly didn't hover over them whilst they did their homework, that's helicopter parenting in the extreme. Put on parental controls and teach them right from wrong

[tisonlymeagain]

Upstairs in their room is fine, I don't get involved with homework now they are are at secondary school past reminding them to do it and checking it gets handed in. If it doesn't they get an immediate 45 minute detention and so far thats never happened - that seems enough incentive for them to get on with it themselves.

[SeaViewBliss]

DS is in year 10 and does about 80% of his upstairs on his PC.

Sometimes he will sit at the kitchen table if he thinks he's going to struggle or if he just wants some company.

[XelaM]

Yes! We have two budgies in the living room and the noise can drive anyone nuts! My daughter can concentrate much better in her room with just a quiet tortoise for company

[pointythings]

In Yr 7 - 9 we didn't. From Yr 10 onwards we did, though they mostly chose to work in the living room with us. Once they're older you can't really make them put in the work - they have to motivate themselves and accept the consequences if they faff about.

[Enko]

Mine can study where they wish. This results in a mixture of their bedroom the sofa or dining table in kitchen. Dd3 mostly stays j her room as she prefers it quiet as she studies. The other 3 are all over the house