3 weeks in at secondary school and my DD has moved tutor groups and classes..she’s devastated

[Tinkie25]

DD came home from school yesterday and told me that her and about 5 other children (who she didn’t know that were in other tutor groups) were told by the HOY that they were moving tutor groups and here is your new timetable. My DD walked out in shock where she looked at her timetable and all her classes have changed too.

She is really devastated and spent the whole evening in tears. She is now away from her best friend and other friends that she made in the first few weeks. She was given no reason for it. (And she was too shocked to ask) She said a new girl has started in the tutor group (last week) and the tutor mentioned he has too many in the group now. DD said she is not struggling in the lessons nor has she found it easy. She took a maths and English test and got very similar scores to her friends in the class.

She was so anxious about starting secondary because a girl in her previous class had bullied her, but luckily she was put in a different tutor group and was never in the same class. Now her new tutor group is with this girl and she’s worrying the classes will probably be the same too☹️

She will also have a later lunch setting, so will not even see her friends for lunch.

There have been no issues with DD since she started, her old tutor even emailed me telling me how pleased she was to have DD in her tutor group as she had looked after a few children who were struggling and being overwhelmed. She really liked her tutor and found her really approachable, she has previously met her new tutor during transition and didn’t like him very much.

I called the school, but there was no answer.

I’ve emailed the HOY asking for the reason DD was moved.

I’m just gutted that my DD appeared to have settled in school and now she’s saying she doesn’t want to go.

Anyone with any secondary experience who can offer any advice.

TIA

[pointythings]

Older I don't think it is the norm to have frequent tutor group moves. Certainly in my DDs' school there was only movement if it was needed for reasons of bullying etc. I think this is very poor from the school and I would suggest following noble's advice.

[Tinkie25]

Thank you for all your advice. I’ve emailed HOY asking for the reason for her move. Wish I had emailed after receiving the advice on here as I don’t think my email was strong enough. I sent it last night.

If I don’t get a satisfactory reply Monday, I will call up and ask for an urgent meeting.

[montenuit]

You could send a second email - "after having slept on it and seen how upset DD still was this morning etc..." with a stronger tone?

[Penguinsetpandas]

I would send a second e-mail saying just to add to my first one my DD was crying all Friday evening about the move. She was very happy and settled in her old form group. She has now been moved away from her friends to a group where there's a child from primary who used to bully her and now she's very anxious. Please could she be moved back to her old form group if possible.

[BoBro]

I would second a second email

[MaisyPops]

noble has it spot on.

It's a ridiculous situation and you are right to want an explanation.

That said, going into school Monday morning, demanding meetings, turning up at school insisting someone speaks to you, sending second emails etc are unreasonable suggestions at this stage.

OP's child came home YESTERDAY. So the OP became aware of this situation on Friday after the end of the school day. She sent an email (rightly) asking for more information after the end of the school day and after the end of the school week. It's not unreasomable to have not heard anything yet.

OP I think your plan is the right one. Give them Monday to deal with it and then request a meeting as soon as possible. Hope it works out.

[MrsChollySawcutt]

"OP's child came home YESTERDAY. So the OP became aware of this situation on Friday after the end of the school day. She sent an email (rightly) asking for more information after the end of the school day and after the end of the school week. It's not unreasomable to have not heard anything yet. "


Normally I would totally agree with that, but in this case that would leave OPs daughter in a different tutor group for at least a week. I think the key here is prompt action to put her back in her original tutor group on Monday without upsetting established friendship groups.

[MissSusanSays]

I agree that this a bad show by the school. I suspect that there was no notification because they have had some issues with other students and your DD was moved to make space for a more troublesome one on the opposite side (a direct swap as it were).

However, that is little comfort to your DD and it doesn’t make it right. When you meet with them I would emphasise that she is now in a form with a child that had previously bullied her and it is causing her huge anxiety.

[JellySlice]

In my dcs' school, such an email would by now have had at least an acknowledgment and promise to look into the case.

I have never, even during holidays or weekends, had to wait longer than 24h for a reply to an email (which is why I never email during holidays and weekends, unless the matter is truly urgent).

[toomanyeastereggsurghh]

I would be on the phone on Monday demanding an explanation, if you can’t get hold of the Head of Year ask for the Head of Pastoral/deputy head or request that one of them ring you back the same day. An email might take them a while to answer.
I’m a teacher and a parent and this is completely unacceptable.
I have seen this happen before and the hope is the child moved and the parents don’t make a much of a fuss. There are times when I think parents are overreacting to minor things but this is definitely not one of those times.

[Lenazayka]

Not surprised. A lot of schools do the SAT test ( or similar) again at the beginning of the year 7 and complete their forms according to the knowledges.

[MaisyPops]

MrsChollySawcutt
It wouldn't leave her in the form for a week.

My point is that if you hear of something after school on a Friday and haven't got a reply to something sent outside the working week then turning up at school first thing Monday morning demanding a meeting isn't a reasonable course of action.

The OP's plan to wait until end of Monday and then seek a meeting is reasonable. Some of the replies on this thread aren't (and are essentially 'kick off because someone hasn't replied to you when they arent working and the institution is closed')

[MrsChollySawcutt]

Maisypops you said : Give them Monday to deal with it and then request a meeting as soon as possible. Hope it works out.

OPs DD has already been given her new timetable. If OP gives them Monday to deal with it and waits for a meeting later in the week, her DD will be in the new tutor group all that time.

Hence my previous post...

[MaisyPops]

One day in a different form is not the end of the world.
If a meeting is needed urgently then it won't be the end of the week.
It doesn't change the fact that turning up before school demanding a meeting is not reasonable. For a start, the member of staff might not be on site. Secondly closer to the starr of school starting there are often staff briefings. Thirdly, people don't have to drop what they are doing because someone has turned up and decided they want to see someone now.

I get the OP wants answers. I get that it's a big change for their child. That doesn't mean turning up demanding meetings (typical MN advice) is the best way forward.

[SavoyCabbage]

I would also go to school for 8am on Monday,

[SassitudeandSparkle]

Send a second email mentioning your DD's distress, and that you will be coming in first thing on Monday morning to speak to someone about this.

I'd go in and see them just to ensure that they see this is not a suitable move for your DD, not because I expect them to respond to an email instantly. I hope it is sorted out for your DD very soon.

[Tinkie25]

I’ve been trying for the past few hours to word my second email, but I keep coming across emotional when I know I need to be factual.

I’m going to try and sleep now, but If anyone can help me word it correctly, I’d really appreciate it. 🙂

[Perfectly1mperfect]

You and your daughter deserve an explanation and I think you have done the right thing to email the school. However, I would not send a second email at this stage. Give the school til Monday afternoon to respond to your initial one and go from there. That way you get the facts, their reasoning etc without actually complaining. There could be a valid reason for your daughter moving. If there isn't, then is the time to do more. Reassure your daughter you will get to the bottom of what's happening. It's always best to find out exactly what's happened and why before you say anything else in my experience.

[Rudi44]

I think a more strongly worded email is important as it sounds like your first email I sent accepting of the situation but want to know why.
I think in your shoes, given the history with this other girl I wouldn’t be sending my daughter in on Monday without a meeting with the school.

Not only is what they have done completely unfair to the children affected but how they have gone about it is pretty dreadful too.

[Rudi44]

Also what bad form of the school to drop this on a Friday knowing they won’t be around to answer questions.

[Foxyloxy1plus1]

We would bend over backwards to achieve a good mix of students in each tutor group and would be very reluctant to move anyone. Exceptions would be, if it was clear, after a while, that the dynamics weren’t working, or if a parent came to explain that there was a particular circumstance that needs to be looked at and potentially changed.

Don’t go in guns blazing, but you have emailed and can do so again with a little more emphasis if necessary. Your angle is not the move and the changes, but the bullying and the lack of information. There must have been a reason, but you should know about it and so should your daughter, so that, at the very least, you understand the reasons. I don’t think this is a safeguarding issue, unless there is something you and we don’t know, so Ofsted is unnecessary.

[Rudi44]

I think even if bullying wasn’t an issue a move at this key stage in forming new friendships and settling in would be a problem for most children, particularly the way it’s been sprung on them.

[Tinkie25]

Feeling a little better. DDs friend (who is in her old tutor) said her other friend is in her new tutor group and invited DD round to meet her. Both girls got on and she said she will meet Dd in the morning, so they can walk together.

I’m still going to speak to the school tomorrow for some answers, but pleased that DD is now talking about how nice the new friend is.

[JellySlice]

What lovely children! Now your dd knows that her friends are looking out for her, too, hopefully Monday will be less daunting.

Hope this gets swiftly resolved.

[Speculoos]

Hope you manage to get it sorted out