GCSEs 2018 (16) - The Final Countdown

[mmzz]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3304925-gcses-2018-15-the-reckoning?

[hmcAsWas]

Hmm - dd's were CIE exams in history and English I think. I might try emailing school (someone might be in) for log in details. I don't see why they are being so precious about it all. Is it too pushy to email them when they are technically not working?

[mmzz]

Stickerrocks no offence, at all. My post was what I've been thinking for ages, and, if anything, it was more inspired by Terf's job interview.

I think it's great, Terf. I just wish I could do the same.

I remember that film. Wasn't it late 80s / early 90s with Diane Keaton? She tried to take the baby to work, as I remember, treating her like a piece of luggage. The ending was a bit Hollywood i.e. people living happily ever after.
They should have done a follow up 15 years on when Diane Keaton is 3 stones heavier, the baby is now a teenager and she's telling DK "thanks for your help, but I'll take it from here"! TBH I'd like to see that happy ever after.

[WhatHaveIFound]

Checking back in after a few months off the board as life just got too complicated.

Hope you get some answers soon AlexanderHamilton. I have a professional musician friend who had a large acoustic neuroma removed a few years ago and continues to play at a very high level so there is hope (if that's what it is).

DD counted down the days until she left her old school and it's only now that i realise how bad things were for her (low level bullying & social exclusion). However she enjoyed the Y11 prom with her closest friends.

Now we have a new school to look forward to. DD is desperate to start now but has to wait until the 7th Sept. Luckily NCS will keep her occupied for a lot of that.

[Oratory1]

That’s very true Peggy. I am always interested watching my brother with older dc go through the various stages. He and SIL are currently really enjoying a very active and well earned early retirement from teaching but will regularly drop everything to drive across the country to help dc move house or with child care

[Stickerrocks]

Phew mmzz. That's the one.

Welcome back whathaveifound. DD finishes NCS today with a beach clean. Unfortunately the beach they have picked will be consumed with more rubbish a few hours later when everyone descends on it to watch fireworks across the water for free and all their hard work will be undone.

[Oratory1]

My ‘empty nest’ is coming earlier in a few weeks as DS will be boarding in sixth form (albeit only weekly and 20 minutes down the road) and DD2 starts uni after a gap year at home. I l ll feel it more too as I was lucky enough to stop working a couple of year ago and have spent the last couple of years heavily involved (some would say too much) in DS and his school life. He has been great company too. I also worry that he s starting A level s independently abdcwill gave to resist the temptation to grill him every weekend in every subject and activity 😀😀

[Oratory1]

A very exciting stage for them both though and whilst I will miss them terribly i am of course also delighted that they’re going so didn’t mean to sound negative

[Stickerrocks]

Our job is to worry about them, but not let them see that we are worrying about them so they have the confidence to make their own decisions, but know we are there to help if needs be.

[Oneteen]

I was one of those mums who balanced having a baby and career and I was always totally worn out...I was given the option of not working but when I found I was pregnant my relationship wasnt great and my Ex was incredibly controlling so there was no way I was giving up work..I was lucky to work for one of the major 4 banks and was highly regarded so i worked from home on condensed hours but still covered the whole of the south of the UK (granny stepped to look after DD when I was on appointments). oddsocks many a time I was looked over in my early 20's because I didnt have at that time the right corporate imagine and I wasnt a graduate and then a super older manager came along saw my potential and I never looked back ...I semi retired at 50 because I had the opportunity to take pension and redundancy and went back to work at 53 - on a ad hoc basic doing the way work but indirectly because the bank outsourced the work. Its amazing what you can do because I split from DD';s dad when she was 3 and still managed to juggle work/child etc and at one stage I had a new man on the scene but that got far too much to juggle - so he had to go unfortunately.

I also thought my last name made me look like a young mum where as I think I maybe the eldest mum on here ..in fact I think there is only 5/6 years different between me and Sost....hope you are Ok Sost?

Good luck in your interview Terf

[AlexanderHamilton]

They have ruled the acoustic neuroma out WhatHaveI. ONwards and upwards as to finding out what is actually going on.

Off to London next week. At least we can relax and enjoy it knowing that even if dh is having a dizzy day he isn't likely to fall down with a stroke & he's not on borrowed time with cancer.

[mmzz]

My employer was not so understanding. I think there were some laws coming in at the time, like parental leave, but my employer's attitude was either you do all the job or you do none of it.
All the job meant being away from baby DS for a minimum of 7:15am - 7pm, and longer if required (even abroad for a week at a time). There was to be no time off or understanding if he was sick, even if he was in hospital. Then they decided it for me. One of them - the CEO's golfing buddy - actual words to me were "a mother should be with her child and our wives don't work. Its impossible to do the job and be a good mother". Another senior director suggested to me "not to make his life difficult by getting pregnant again".
Another female colleague was asked if she didn't feel that by having a nanny, that she was failing at being a mother. She told me she was pregnant again and she was extremely stressed at how the company would take the news so was hiding it for as long as possible, but then she miscarried (and had to hide that too).

Paraphrasing Theresa May, it was a hostile environment.

[mmzz]

My experiences made me very glad that my DC aren't boys. However, I think the world has changed enormously in 15 years.

[Stickerrocks]

Oneteen please don't take offence if I'm wrong but I always imagined you as being 10 years older (& hence wiser) than me.

Listening to a feature on travelling alone on Woman's Hour. Would any of you & have any of you? I see DD broadening her horizons as a great opportunity for me to see places I want to see without having to consider other people. I have DH, but he has no interest in visiting some places I would like to see and doing what I want to do. I'm really not bothered about things like eating and drinking by myself as I've done it for years. I will happily strike up conversations with anyone. Have any of you gone solo?

[Stickerrocks]

Presumably ARE boys mmzz unless we are merging into a transgender thread!

[mmzz]

yes are boys! I was thinking aren't like me ie girls as I wrote.

[Stickerrocks]

I sat through a 4 hour partnership interview. At the end I was asked if there was anything I wished to add. I said I was pregnant. "Oh dear" was the response. They also changed the date a bonus was paid so it wouldn't be taken into account for calculating my maternity pay.

Since then I have had a lower paid but more flexible role. Technically I work 80%, but sometimes that is up to 12 days on the trot and at other times I have over a month off at once. Unfortunately the time off usually failed to match school holidays. Still DD is very independent....!

[Oratory1]

I think we were having DC very much at the point that times were starting to change for the better. I remember asking for part time work after the first and getting it but many friends commenting 'how did you get that' and being surprised when I said I just asked for it. Whereas now I think the automatic expectation in some fields is that you will take a year off and return part time.

Hopefully attitudes have changed a bit too mmzz. Your post rings very true with the first Alison Pearson book.

[WhatHaveIFound]

Stickerrocks I travelled round the world on my own in my early 20s. I set off with a friend but we went our separate ways after a few weeks as she wanted to work in one place for a while and i wanted to see more of the world. Met some great people along the way though i'm sure my parents were worried as they didn't hear from me fro months at a time.

How about joining a trip with one of the adventure companies like Exodus? That way you're seeing the world but you're not eating/drinking alone?

Listening to tales from the workplace makes me glad that both DH and I are self employed. We have enjoyed very flexible working hours whilst the DC have been growing up though we did once have to cancel a holiday when we couldn't find cover for a job.

[TerfTerf2]

OMG!! It went SO well! The lady who interviewed me told me quite frankly that she loved my CV and came in today specially because they'd interviewed everyone else yesterday but I was away so they asked me in today. Even if I don't get it, that was a big morale boost.

It's an NHS job, in a huge medical centre, and they love to employ older more experienced people. The atmosphere was lovely, the staff I saw were friendly and caring and they are really big on CPD and promotions within the centre.

mmzz our kids will always need us but just not to be there all the time. I'm probably weird in that I look forward to them leaving and having the excitement of setting up their own homes, children, jobs, etc. And I am also glad I have boys and won't have to watch them being potentially screwed professionally for the crime of having a uterus

[Stickerrocks]

What but would you do it at this stage of life when you have "responsibilities"? I know exactly where I want to go and what I want to do, but it's the guilt of frittering away money on myself and not sharing precious holiday time with the two people I want to spend my limited time off with which currently holds me back. I think I am going to have to wait a few more years.

Terf It sounds as though you had what I used to call a "sell us" interview as the interviewer, rather than a "convince me" interview. That must gave boosted your confidence and hopefully they will have something which suits you. Well done!

[brainmelt]

Our job is to worry about them, but not let them see that we are worrying about them so they have the confidence to make their own decisions, but know we are there to help if needs be.
Right on sticker

mmzz DS did mostly iGCSE but we won't get the results till the 23rd... including CIE!

[brainmelt]

terf

[hmcAsWas]

Sticker - I am trekking the Great Wall of China with 49 others in May next year. I am technically going on my own (I didn't know any of them prior to this), but since it is a charity fundraising thing we are all on a facebook group together and meet on a monthly basis for training walks. We are not doing the entire wall - its only a week, but it will be an experience. Some of them are paying for the Terracotta warrior extension at the end - I decided not to as it will be more time away from the dc (can't quite cut those strings!)

Would something like that potentially appeal?

[hmcAsWas]

Well done Terf - sounds very promising

Same as you re iGCSE results brainmelt. Its a bit annoying when those results should be available next week

[Stickerrocks]

hmc that sounds great, but far too much effort for me. It's more a case of I want to go yo the Arctic Circle, and see the Northern Lights or visit various places in Scandinavia, but DH & DD have no interest in going there. Even if one of them went with me, we would end up compromising the whole time and not getting the best out of the experience. So when do we finally stop compromising to keep everyone else happy?