Contaception talk for year 9-a dildo ???

[mooshy]

DD1 had her contraception talk yesterday.I think this is fab because in my day teachers spent far too long talking about how to get pregnant ect. and no time on how not to ! However am i being prudish in saying i was a little shocked when she told me they passed round lots of things of which one was a dildo ! I know times have changed ect,but not entirely convinced its approprite >Is my dd and her lovely group of friends among the limited number of kids i know that are quite happy to be children for as long as pos.FFS they still play and make up dances and songs ect.-why did she need to be handed a dildo ?

[winterpimms]

Yes, probably used instead of a banana. Have a 14dd in year 9, would probably prefer they use a fake penis as this is more likely to put her off

Ds in year 6 is having his sex education film this week. I did mention wet dreams as i know this is in the dvd. He was completely horrified and said he didn't want to know. Pleased they wait until year6 in his school as he is one of the youngest.

[fortyplus]

Haven't been drinking - honest! That's 'definitely' and 'Yr5'

[fortyplus]

My 2 were definitel told the full works in yr %.
Also... I'm 45 and was told about 'how a baby is made' (though not how the sperm actually got there) when I was 8. We were told everything else in our last year at Primary school.

[nappyaddict]

thats interesting when i was at school we got told about period in year 7 and sex in year 10 - and im only 18 so nt that long ago.

[hercules1]

Masturbation and wet dreams are part of SRE. If you want to know what else is and what your children are being taught look on the QCA websites where it states what the statutory requirements are.

[fortyplus]

Sex education begins in Year 5. The basics are covered - including periods and wet dreams!

[nappyaddict]

well i personally think sex ed needs to begin much younger - in about year 6.

and stuff about puberty etc should be taught even younger than that. sisters friends daughter came out of school terrified last week - she said someone had been killed in the yr 2 toilets. her mum was obviously a little confused so spoke to the teacher. apparently a girl in her class had started her period and hadn't a clue what was going on. poor little mite.

[oversted]

Well, because otherwise for some 14 or 16 year old girls, the first time they see an erect penis, it's attached to their boyfriend, it's heading in their direction, uncondomed unless she takes control of the situation & insists, & drink has been taken on both sides...

The question we're asking ourselves shouldn't be what the point is, so much as why we feel uncomfortable with this - & are we passing on an attitude of 'sex/sexual feelings/sexual parts of the body aren't to be seen or discussed'

[Blondilocks]

Did I hear somewhere that they were going to start discussing stuff like masturbation as an alternative to having full blown sex? It is a part of relationships & I do think all aspects need to be covered to dispel any old wives tales etc.

Also to reiterate things like how STIs can be caught without having sex etc.

I do think for sex ed to be effective we need to remove some of our prudishness.

Also I had my DD when I was in yr 10 so yr 9 isn't that early to discuss it. (However on this note they also need to discuss how & why contraceptives can fail & what to do in this situation!)

[nappyaddict]

was it to practice putting the condom on?

otherwise i am not entirely sure what the point of it would be...

[hercules1]

Good SRE {sex and relationship education should involve talking to parents and kids to find out wht they want to be taught, finding out what htey kids know about the topic at teh start and teaching from that level.

[fortyplus]

My ds1 was about 8 or 9 when he asked why his willy (sorry - he knows the proper name is penis) goes stiff sometimes. So I just said of course it's so that when he's older he'll be able to make babies - he already knew the basics.
How else would it fit in the special hole - if it was floppy it would never go in!
He laughed like a drain! I've always answered their questions honestly and never said stuff like 'I'll tell you when you're older'. It's important to answer in terms that they will understand at the age they're at.

[hercules1]

If kids dont find out the truth through parents or school then the chances are they will learn misconceptions from friends or some from hard core porna videos websites. Hardly a loving relationship and the norm.

[hercules1]

The thing is you have to be fairly graphic although it's not a soft porn lesson. You cant beat around the bush and it is so important to get kids used to using the right terms for things like the penis and sex. I use some dolls with erect penis and female doll with all her orifices and breasts to help me teach about sex to kids with special needs who dont get talking around it and it needs to be spelled out to them. A teacher told me she was teaching about sanitary towels and putting it on her leg to demonstraet where it went. WHen asking them at the end where it went they all said on the leg of course. I teach it by using a pair of pants and getting them tp put on the pants but with the pants on the desk and them fully closed of course. Not perfect but having to find the balance.

[colditz]

My mother's advice to me ws to only have sex with a boy who loved me, because if he loved me he would do what I said, and stop if I wanted to, and he would wait until I was ready, not until I was drunk.

She was actually right. I was 14, but I was sober and had been seeing him for 6 months. He did love me, and I loved him. And the first time hurt, and he stopped.

[fortyplus]

My sons' school is in a pretty affluent, middle class area. Thet are in yrs 7 & 8 and are fascinated by rumours that one of the yr9 girls has been giving blow jobs to her classmates.
So - unfortunately - it is probably necessary to be graphic with the sex education.
I was fascinated by the whole subject at that age - I would've loved it if someone had shown me a dildo at school!

[hercules1]

Exactly. I am sick of telling parents on parents eveing that I see your child for one hour every other week and they cannot leave it up to the school alone. Most of it has to go on in the home where matters are discussed honestly and openly. Use the words penis!

[hercules1]

Talk about what she could do in certain situations and what the possible consequences of each would be. GEt her to practise saying no in different ways and the difference between being aggressive and assertive. It may well be no good shouting no at a bloke who is twice the size of you and wants to have sex with you if you dont. THis could increase the risk. Talk about not getting into situations they cant handle e.g going home with friends rather than alone.

[Tortington]

should be done by parent also

all this catholic attitude must go

its a shame when a kid can't say "penis" in their own house without dying of shame.

its the parent that must create the environment where the child is unafraid to ask questions.

[hercules1]

I do a lot of assertiveness and negotiating work with teh kids I teach. The idea being they are armed with strategies for such situatiosn where they are uncomfortable ir at risk. We also look at what is a healthy relationship.

[hercules1]

That's why it's called sex and relationships education. There is so much more to it than the actual sex bit. There are lots of websites that give advice to parents as well as teenagers. NCB are really good (national childrens bureau).

[Pesha]

Agree with everything your saying hercules, really hope my dd gets sex ed like that when she's older and im doing my best to be as open as possible already with her. I was off sick the one day they did sex ed at my school so missed it. But it wasnt not knowing about contraception that got me pg at 15 it was being naive and putting all my trust in a man 8 yrs older than me and not having the strength to say hang on a minute!

I want my daughter not just to know how to put a condom on but to know how to insist on it!!

[hercules1]

We know now that just saying no doesnt work. THis country has one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates of its kind. Kids need to be informed of risks and consequences and how to keep safe. How can you teach them about keeping safe if you arent prepared to discuss being drunk?

[hercules1]

But that's the point. They arent listening. It's active learning. You dont learn by listening. You learn by doing it hence why you get the kids to actually put the condoms on the marshmallow thing.

[hercules1]

But statistically they will be under the influence. I bet if you did a poll on mumsnet most would say they were.

Sex ed is no longer called this, it's called sex and relationships education. THe actual sex is a small part of it, most of it is about the relationship around it. Keeping safe and mentally healthy.

By law I have to promote sex within a long term relationship (marriage) as the right thing. Of course noone wants teenagers to have drunken sex but they do and need to be wearing condoms.