Gordonstoun on tv...what were they thinking..

[wurzeldrink]

Real car crash tv,I understand the Harrow series has led to a very large increase in applications,really cant see the same happening for Gordonstoun,we watch open mouthed at how bad the school is...
Anybody else watching it?

[wurzeldrink]

What planet are you on? "ensure they get worse exam grades"
Please spare us the boarding school survivor drivel...

[BlueSmarties76]

DeoGratis I can see how the philosophy at G would be very confidence building for DC who haven't yet found their talents.

I agree that some DC can be damaged by boarding, but then some DC can be damaged at horrible day schools or by the experience of sports (for example, the large number of DC at a famously sporty school who have anorexia). I think it's got more to do with a school managing bullying and other issues poorly or the DC not being suited to the type of school than boarding being 'bad' per se.

[BrendaandEddie]

i uite liked it. Kids seemed really nice.

BUT THOSE RED TROUSERS and the freaky tea party

[BrendaandEddie]

but ditto = boarding school is shit
Kids say they like it out of some warped Stockholm syndrome

[DeoGratias]

I didn't some on here to say boarding school was wrong. I said Gordonstoun is part of the rich pattern of many different types of schools.
I do however think being sent away is not the bset thing for most children and you can get better exam results in the selective day private schools so in a sense you are paying to obtain worse exam results, less influence over your children and to be apart from those whom you love whilst perhaps emotionally damaging them in the process so it's never been for me. However I certainly offered all 3 sons the chance to board if they wanted - and they didn't because they like acres of free time to sit and think and not be managed or controlled and lots of freedom so boarding is not going to get them that of course.

[SettlinginNicely]

I agree with your analysis Deo.

I can see situations where it might work/be necessary. Parents posted abroad or moving a lot due to work commitments; or possibly a very mature child living in an area where the school choices are thin. But for most kids in stable homes where they are loved and have access to good days schools, I think it is an anachronism that doesn't add value.

I say this as someone who has known lots of adults who went to good boarding schools including my own mother, BIL, roommate at first job, etc. It's just my personal opinion given the stories I've heard and the "vibe" these folks have. Sort of disassociated emotionally from what is going on around them. That's just my personal opinion from the small sample of real life people I've had the chance to get to know.

[DeoGratias]

Also sometimes parents are so bad at home boarding is better too. I know someone where neither parent wanted him after divorce (!) so he boarded. Another one his mother was dying of cancer and she had been widowed so they put him in boarding school so he'd have some stablity and avoid years of just watching his mother die.
My older daughter said she'd have enjoyed boarding had we offered it to her and she probably would have done as she is that personality although she's done well enough without at private day school (city banking lawyer, Bristol university etc).

[SettlinginNicely]

Yes, Deo I watched a program years ago about a boarding boys prep school with my husband. We thought it was awful, just awful to dump tender young children in boarding school. Then, the parents came into the frame, and DH remarked that the boys might actually be better off at the school!

[BlueSmarties76]

I think your argument is pretty balanced deogratis though personally I'd not go as far as saying it's "not the best for most children", just that it's different for every child.

Also, proper full boarding is becoming rarer and many children IMHO benefit from doing the odd night here and there of flexi boarding.

IMHO it seems very odd that DC are at day schools and then are suddenly expected to go away to university usually far from home and cope fine. I actually think boarding in years 12 & 13 even if only flexi or weekly would be a fantastic preparation for the majority of children.

[SettlinginNicely]

Blue, I'd agree that flexiboarding for 6th form feels very different from full boarding at 13 yrs old.

[BlueSmarties76]

Settlinginnicely
Yes, very different. Going at 7 compared to 13 is also different again.

My grandmother in her 90's has an interesting perspective as she full termly boarded from age 4 (only going home for summer, Easter and Xmas). She said she couldn't really say if she liked or disliked it or not as it was just normal for her and she had no other experiences to compare to. She was not by her standards mistreated, although being the 1920's canings and being locked in cupboards were acceptable punishments! It was fairly normal for 4 year olds to board back then. Quite shocking!

[pretend]

Boarding house matron here, what an interesting thread!

I agree some kids are dumped by the parents, but thankfully that is a tiny minority. Most are weekly boarders and that seems ideal to me.

Boarding school isn't for all kids or all families, but I don't know why you'd be so rude about another family's choice just because it's not the right one for yours. Distinct lack of manners there

[DeoGratias]

My uncle boarded aged 4 with his 12 year old cousin because he was jealous of the new baby at home - awful psychology to do that of course... He was also forced to write with his right hand though left handed.

Gordonstoun is not the easiest place to flexiboard or only board during the week of course due to being in the back of beyond.

I don't think anyone has been rude on the thread at all. Most of the boarding schools obtain worse exam results than the very academic day schools like St Paul's NLCS etc but that of course is not comparing like with like. Plenty of children are psychologically damaged and have a remoteness from their parents from being sent away. Saying these things is not rude. Also you are more under peer influence so if everyone smokes you might well smoke rather than each night home with your parents under their influence.

Anyway it is for each parent to choose and I support the right of parents to make those choices whether to pick a school without formal l essons like Sommerhill, a school like Gordonstoun, an orthodox jewish or muslim school, creationist school, St Paul's, Chethams for music or bog standard comp or home education - we are lucky to have that variety and to allow personal choice rather than having only one kind of school in the UK.

[Pepperpot69]

Well both my DCs full board and have done from the age of 7 (the youngest..it was his choice!) and they love it! The school is a caring, sharing, family environment and they have both flourished. It has worked well for us but that is because the nearest private day school option is a 3 hr one way commute! It is easy for MN posters to criticise other parents choices when they don't know the circumstances and you have a good choice of state & day schools within a 30min drive. We are not all that lucky so please be careful how you criticise when you haven't walked in our shoes!
My DCs are now ready to move on to senior school and the eldest is happy, confident and can't wait for all the challenges and opportunities that await. There was a time when we had a choice of great day schools and state and I couldn't understand about boarding but now I have experienced the other side of the coin through no choice and it really can be the most amazing opportunity and gift you can give your child..I know mine would def agree!

We do know DCs who are at G and they love it and are perfectly 'normal' happy children with loving, 'normal' parents.

[pretend]

I've had kids whose parents didn't have them back for the holidays, kids whose parents had new families with new partners so shunted the older kids out of the way - all massively damaging.

However most are from close and loving families who all have their own reasons for choosing boarding.

Saying that G gets worse exams results that St Ps is a ridiculous argument - most private schools get worse exam results that St P but St P is massively selective in a way that G is not. Only a very tiny minority of kids are bright enough to get into a super selective, it doesn't matter how rich the parents are.

We're not selective at all but the kids board for a huge variety of reasons, including parents away, parents moving around a lot, parents a hour down the road but full time working long hours, parents boarded themselves and wanted their kids to have the experience..... and same as all the boarding schools, a ton of Russian/Asian kids wanting the "genuine English experience" and prepare to pay top dollar for it.

[BlueSmarties76]

Pepperpot69
I don't think many of us on this thread are anti-boarding as a blanket rule, we just mentioned that sometimes it can be problematic in some circumstances if it not right for the DC or if the school is horrid.

My personal opinion is that the ethos at a small minority of schools is so uncaring that boarding there could be very unpleasant for less robust DC (so most of them), but generally speaking if the parents motivations are good, pastoral care is excellent and DC enjoys boarding and is thriving then that's great and I've got no objection to it.... I'm not surprised though that so many people who boarded pre 1980's (??) when things worked very differently now have issues. Boarding back then sounds a lot more "Lord Of The Flies" as far as I can tell.

I'm considering my prep school age DC flexi boarding next year for 2-3 nights a week. A large number of parents at the school have their DC board 1 night a week as a sort of play date / for babysitting and the kids love it.

[SettlinginNicely]

I don't know why you'd be so rude about another family's choice just because it's not the right one for yours. Distinct lack of manners there

It's an anonymous internet chat board. It's all about opinions. You can't shut a discussion down that you don't like by saying it is "rude." But it is a good strategy when you reckon that really hashing out the facts isn't going to work.

[BlueSmarties76]

DeoGratis true about most boarding schools giving less good results than the top London days, but outside of London I'd imagine the Public boarding schools would have generally better results than day ones. I think London is a special case. (Though admittedly I've not read any league tables in a while so could be wrong.)

Also, I personally would rather choose a Public boarding school for the lifestyle and extra curriculars it offers. DS would not be capable of getting in to any London selective senior school (more or less) and is leagues away from the St Pauls / Westminster ability bracket, therefore the exam results of London selectives being better is irrelevant to me. AFAIK any of the boarding Publics would have good enough exam results for me to want to send DS there.

[pretend]

Using be silly Settling. Why do you think boards are moderated? Do you think is isn't possible to give an opinion without being rude?

[pretend]

Nice London-centric view there:

Day schools outside London don't have good results is basically what you're saying there

[SettlinginNicely]

pretend the implication was that expressing any hegative opinion of boarding is "rude." If you define, "not agreeing with me" as "rude," then you either shut down the discussion, or develop thicker skin. There have been no personal attacks, just opinions based on personal experience that boarding is best avoided generally, unless there are specific circumstances that make it desirable.

[morningtoncrescent62]

Going back to the OP about 'car crash TV' I'd say the Gordonstoun series has done much more to challenge my perceptions of boarding school than the Harrow series did. I think if I'd seen it when my DC were teenagers I might have done some research into schools, funding and scholarships and considered giving it a go. The Harrow programme left most of my prejudices intact in that the kids and teachers seemed to be almost another species, whereas the G kids and teachers came across as ordinary, likeable people. I know a lot of this will be in the editing of course! Most of my 'knowledge' about boarding schools comes either from girls' school stories mostly written pre-1960s, and from people I know who've been there in the 1980s and earlier. I feel better-informed by watching the series even though I know it's only a very limited snapshot.

No implied judgement of anybody because everyone's circumstances are different, but pre-teen still seems very young to me to let them do more than the occasional night if you don't have to. Maybe the next series should be on Gordonstoun prep to see if that can make me change my mind!

[BlueSmarties76]

Pretend
How it is London centric to say that Westminster & St Pauls & all the other elite London day schools get far better results than most day schools out of London? THEY DO!! (They also get far better results than all the non selective schools IN London too). A league table will tell you that. Of course there are other day schools outside of London that get results which are as good, but not as many schools in such a small area. But I don't know why that should be surprising given the size of the population in London (and the demographics).

I was actually arguing against another poster's slightly London centric view, as I was pointing out that making a comparison between exam grades of Public boarding schools and elite London day schools is less relevant than comparing Public boarding schools and day schools across the rest of the country.

[Bernithebolt]

Came across this by accident. My son left Gordonstoun last summer. He went their after one disastrous sixth form year at a Leicestershire comp.he is a changed person. It is a great school and I have nothing but praise for this fantastic school. He achieved well academically and thrived in the environment. We are from the UK and paid full fees! It was worth every penny. He was there during filming although not in one of the house featured. His house and accommodation were perfectly acceptable and the pastoral care was truly outstanding. Gordonstoun is a school that does exactly what it says on the tin! It does not pretend to be anything else than what it is and it is brilliant at it.

The surroundings are fantastic. A massive green campus. Great Arts facilities, great sports facilities a fantastic curriculum, I could go on. Many students chose USA universities before Oxbridge. As a parent all you want is for your child do at least as well as they should in every area including Academic, we got that and so much more. Definitive judgements based on a little knowledge from a tv programme which, at best, can only be a snapshot is not really justifiable.

[JakeBallardswife]

I watched the programme with the DC's and said if we were going to send you to boarding school somewhere like gordunstun would be fantastic. I thought it was encouraging, the pupils were well rounded from varied backgrounds and loved the ethos of the school. Not quite sure why you're slating it or its academic results. If you want a more academic school - then choose one. I too fancied a night away, wondered if my 8 year old could be made to look any older!