Please help - DS (12) is being bullied on school bus

[NoSoggyBottoms]

Hi,

I need some advice/support.

My Y8 son is being bullied on the school bus. I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. Here's what has happened over the past two weeks (excluding the half term holiday). He was tackled off the bus in a headlock by another Y8 child, his bag was taken by two Y9 children and a Y7 child who went through everything (and kept his pen), Y10 child repeatedly hit him on his head (the Y10 then asked if my DS would tell me and when my DS cried, called him a cry baby) and a Y7 child sprayed perfume on him.

There was contact with school before half term with the Head of Year. She said she'd deal with things, but didn't. I then emailed Head Teacher. He passed this on to Head of Year again who did try to deal with things, including saying that she will make sure that staff who are on duty, to ensure children get on school buses, make sure my DS gets a seat at the front. This was arranged this Tuesday. Yesterday this didn't happen - that's when my DS was hit on the head and had perfumed sprayed on him.

There is a code of conduct for use of the school buses. If the code is broken, then it says that children won't be able to use them. So shouldn't these children have been told not to use the buses? Even for a short period of time?

My DS is a sensitive soul. He lacks confidence and self esteem as it is. He doesn't know how to react to these situations, although we have been through it at home.

I'm at my wits end. I try to do the right thing, contact the school. Work in partnership with them and support them....for what? They seem ineffective and their measures don't seem to be working. So what now?

Thanks

[shalom]

I would get on the bus with him and tell him to point out the people who are picking on him. Then I'd let them know that I didn't go through 12 hours labour and a cesarean for them to pick on him. When my Dd was in reception someone kept on pinching her. I told her to tell the teacher when it happened again. The teacher didn't do anything about it. I met the teacher and she still didn't do anything about it. So I waited after school till the other girl was being picked up and had a word with them. That put an end to it. You don't want anybody wreaking your child's confidence because if may be hard to build it up again.

[redmapleleaves]

I'd call the police too. Also I'd suggest you call the Kidscape helpline - they were marvellous with me, so helpful to feel validated and to have expert advice after the school denial.

[PleaseNoMoreMinecraft]

And I agree about the assault, see if the threat of court is enough to make them think twice about what they're doing!

[PleaseNoMoreMinecraft]

Your poor DS!

This is exactly the kind of thing that makes my blood run cold - my DS1 is very bright but is affected by his ASD in such a way that he just wouldn't know what to do about a situation like this. Wouldn't tell me or DH, wouldn't tell teachers, would just take it.

We're looking at secondary schools for next year and I'm not sure if I could take that kind of thing happening to him - I'm seriously considering homeschooling.

I would think that if it's happening on a school bus they have a duty of care and are liable to prosecution if your DS is assaulted, for not doing enough to prevent him coming to harm. TBH if they're not doing even the basics I would seriously consider moving him to another school!

[JohFlow]

My DSs school has a set of bus monitors (like prefects) who observe how things are on the buses and report back to the head. They do not put themselves in harms way but anything that happens is reported and dealt with promptly. The monitors are an additional witness and I feel more secure knowing that the school is doing things proactively. Maybe worth a suggestion?

[barbosska]

A friend of mine had a similar problem with her boy. She complained and the driver of the bus, who IS RESPONSIBLE to control the behaviour on the bus, was replaced with another one, who kept things under control. She also talked to school but I am not sure if there were other measured put in place by the school.

[nostress]

I'd call the police. He has been assulted. And make a formal complaint to the govenors...

[mumofthemonsters808]

I'm sorry to read this you must be out of your mind with worry. I have a DD in year 7 who travels on the school bus and no way would she be able to handle this awful situation but no child should have to tolerate this cruel, harsh behaviour. I'm lucky in that DD's bus has staff on board and by the sound of things this school should also. They should not even be running a bloody service if they can not keep a child safe from harm (I'm getting angrier by the moment even typing this). I'd contact the school again, please do not give up, the school must take some responsibility these children need bringing in line or else I hate to say it, but this situation will just escalate.

[RussianBlu]

Oh dear that's very sad. I don't think many of us would deal with that very well. Absolutely make a fuss at school. Is it a school bus or just a normal bus that anyone can get on?

[fridayfreedom]

This happened to my son when he was in year 8. The final straw was being sprayed in the eyes with deodorant.
I took him into school the next day and refused to budge until the teacher responsible for transport came to see me.
I then gave names of all the children involved and demanded that the bullying stopped there and then. I was prepared to shop the children involved to the transport office if necessary.
Dd was on the bus that morning and did not deny that DS was in hospital as some of the children involved feared. He wasn't but she let them worry!

[noblegiraffe]

Is there a camera on the bus? Do the school know who the children are?

If yes, and they aren't following their own procedures, you need to write to the governors. The next step after that would be Ofsted. Mention duty of care and safeguarding.

[lionheart]

Also think about getting this all down in writing and including the school governors if the head does nothing to improve the situation.

[finallydelurking]

You are doing the right thing, keep contacting the school. Make it very clear you're looking to work in partnership with them. If the HOY isn't successful in improving things go back to the head. I feel really sorry for your son but it's good he talks to you.