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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Girls school vs. mixed? Which would you choose?

139 replies

MothershipG · 05/10/2012 07:12

I went to a girls school and feel I did better than I would have done in a mixed school, although as there is only one of me I obviously have no way of proving this!

My DD is in Yr6 and has the choice of single-sexed or mixed.

If we count other factors as equal which would you choose?

OP posts:

QuintessentialShadows · 06/10/2012 01:06

I have boys. I want single sex schools. I want Catholic boys school for them both. No giggling but 100% concentration, I expect.

SoupDragon · 06/10/2012 07:19

No giggling but 100% concentration, I expect.

LOLOL. I doubt it. Although it will be more like sniggering.

QuintessentialShadows · 06/10/2012 10:00

I cant imagine there will be any reason to snigger if there are no girls present.

And the girls have no reason to giggle, with no boys around.

Says Quint, who can count on one hand the people she knows that has gone to single sex schools.....

motherinferior · 06/10/2012 10:05

Girls don't just giggle at boys. Give them some credit, Quint- young women have enough annoying joie de vivre to giggle at most things...

Back to the OP: my older daughter has just started at a single-sex comp; in all honesty I would much prefer mixed, but given the schools on offer in our area I leapt at this school and it is quite quite lovely so far. I don't believe that girls and boys need somehow different teaching styles but I do like the explicitly feminist ethos at her school, the fact that there are no boys to allege intellectual superiority (which happened a fair bit at my mixed school, especially by the boys who were in reality a Bit Thick ) and that girls have to do well at traditionally non-girly subjects.

SoupDragon · 06/10/2012 10:09

cant imagine there will be any reason to snigger if there are no girls present.

And the girls have no reason to giggle, with no boys around.

Really? You think they only giggle or snigger when the opposite sex is around?

teacherwith2kids · 06/10/2012 10:10

Entering the changing room at DD's dance school makes it abundantly clear that giggling does NOT require boys to be present... or even to be the cause or subject of giggling (though of course 'non-present-in-the-flesh' boys may in fact prompt much more giggling of a silly kind than the oridinary, taken for granted boys who have always shared a classroom with the girls in quesrtion..)

PhyllisDietrichson · 06/10/2012 10:12

I have worked at both types of school in the same borough, both comps, both Outstanding. The girls school was quieter and more diligent, the mixed more animated and in some respects more fun. The results girls at the mixed school did slightly less well overall by 2%; though my neighbours DD left there with 12A*s! I think in the end it comes down to the individual - does your child want to go to a mixed school - as that's an important factor in their learning? At a grammar school visit we did last week for our DS, the head said ''there is no evidence that children do better at single sex schools; it's a myth'', but I can't comment on that, haven't seen the case studies. And an aside, but one that struck me at the time, my friend's son from the mixed comp thought the girls from the single sex school were far more interested in boys and dating, so he'd always go to chat them up at gathering!!

QuintessentialShadows · 06/10/2012 10:23

At least they will not be distracted by falling in love with half the class, then?

AllPastYears · 06/10/2012 10:31

"my friend's son from the mixed comp thought the girls from the single sex school were far more interested in boys and dating, so he'd always go to chat them up at gathering!! "

This is quite possible... on the other hand at least they're not doing it in lesson time.

Oh, and my friends and I used to have huge giggling fits at our girls' school. I'm sure we were hugely annoying.

motherinferior · 06/10/2012 10:52

Well, some of them will be highly distracted by having twice the number of potential crush-objects than in a mixed-school, Quint!

CecilyP · 06/10/2012 11:26

^>I don't recognise this "not knowing how to speak to / react to / be with people who are a different gender from you"

perhaps kids now do more out-of-school activities and they are more likely to be mixed than in previous generations?^

I think that's true, Grimma. The only out-of-school ativity I did was guides - also single sex.

CecilyP · 06/10/2012 11:31

^I cant imagine there will be any reason to snigger if there are no girls present.

And the girls have no reason to giggle, with no boys around.^

Having gone to a girls school, I can assure you that giggling was rife. Far more friends to giggle with!

Obviously, I have no experience of boys schools.

Narked · 06/10/2012 11:32

Single sex for girls.

Elibean · 06/10/2012 11:43

I spent half my time at single sex secondary school giggling about boys....

My neice, who went to co-ed secondary, did far less giggling (and far less other things too ).

Mintyy · 06/10/2012 12:26

I rather like to hear my children giggling.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 06/10/2012 12:27

I don't remember giggling about boys ever, or at least not the boys at school.

BackforGood · 06/10/2012 12:43

Grimma and CecilyP

I totally agree that my dc do a lot more out of school activities than I did when I was at school back in the 70s, but I too went to an all girls school and my statement (I don't recognise this "not knowing how to speak to / react to / be with people who are a different gender from you") still stands from then.
Indeed I meet up with some of the girls from school ech year, and have asked them about this after a previous thread in the past, and none of them recognised it either.

We were perhaps in the perfect situation though, with a girls' and boys' school next door to each other, so sep lessons, but shared buses to and from school, and, once you got to (what was then Upper 4th! now) Yr9, a lot of the lunchtime and after school activities were joint.

ds and dd's schools mix for drama, and some lessons in the 6th form, but nowhere near as much as we used to when I was at school, it's true.

Everhopeful · 08/10/2012 14:37

I think there can be issues if DC is in single sex schools right the way up from nursery, especially if siblings are same sex. That's surely a very small number of people with the problem!

I didn't set out to find a single sex school for DD till she asked, but would say they've got advantages and important differences: friendships between girls are very different to friendships between boys and a boy and a girl (leaving aside any hint of sex in this - heaven forbid!). That difference permeates the whole school. I don't think one is necessarily better than the other, but if she does, I'll go with it.

iseenodust · 08/10/2012 17:08

Some time ago, I went from the local mixed comp to an independent for 6th form. You could tell the girls who'd come from the girls' independent by the makeup, lunchtime tears and haste to bag a boyfriend. It was not a particularly macho/'rugby orientated' type school. I was the only girl doing two of my A levels but wasn't made to feel weird or isolated.

Pyrrah · 10/10/2012 12:31

We will be opting for all-girls for DD when she turns 11.

I went to all-girls, and all-boys (first intake of girls - there were 5 of us in the whole school so not even a netball team's worth) and mixed. I was definitely happiest at the all-girls.

Apart from the academic reasons, I would like DD to have a good set of girlfriends later on and being at an all-girls school means you have to learn to get on with other women!

I was also a very later developer and as DD has growth delay issues it is likely that she will hit puberty in her late teens too. It is hard being at a mixed school where all the other girls have boobs and boyfriends at 14 and you still buy your clothes in the kid's section. I think it will be easier for her in that sense to not be around boys and 'couples' at school.

The schools we will be looking at have strong links with their corresponding boys schools and have social events and educational events together - debating, drama etc

We also live in London so she won't be without male company outside school!

HappyTurquoise · 10/10/2012 13:13

It depends on the child, and on the school. The best school my parents could send my brother was single sex (public school, on a scholarship). We, his 3 sisters went to a mixed (comprehensive) school. I don't think being co-ed was as much a difference as the standard of teaching, the facilities and the choices that were available. There was a vast difference.

One of my daughters goes to a girl's GS, and she's interested in sciences and is doing really well academically. It's also opened doors for her to be able to become involved in sports that she wouldn't be able to do otherwise. (Women's rugby isn't usually on offer at mixed schools!) She mixes with boys at her (other) sports training and at scouts. She has a boyfriend now, and I think it's been good for her not to have the distraction of boys at school, in the classroom.

Our younger daughter is at a mixed GS. She could have gone to the same school as her sister, but she did very well in the entrance exam, and this school is 'super selective'. She wasn't sure about going to a mixed school, and would have preferred to go to an all girl's school. We just decided that, as a quieter girl, she would be better off in a school which was more geared up for academic achievement and where she wouldn't be accused of being a swot or a nerd for working hard & doing well. That just hasn't happened in her class, and for that alone I'm glad she's not at the school her sister is at! She finds it easier to mix than her sister though, and she has a great group of school friends, all girls. We made it clear in the first parent/teacher consultations that she is interested in science and will probably be interested in doing a science degree, if encouraged at school.

We all feel that both our children are at the right school for them, the 'best fit' we could manage, and it's turning out well for them, in their own ways. Mixed/single sex isn't as important as you might think. They still have to interact with the opposite sex, and it's better if they grow up with that through teenage years. My husband went to a single sex school, and I sometimes wonder whether he'd be a better communicator (with me, at least) if he'd been at a mixed school!

I'm guessing there are probably more divorces between people where one or both parties went to a single sex school, too. Just from the people I know of, that seems to be the case.

RightsaidFreud · 10/10/2012 13:27

It depends on the child. I went to a mixed school which was (before the year i joined) an all boys school, so my year was the first year of girls. 50 girls and 110 boys in the year, year 8-11 all boys, and it was my first choice. It was without a doubt the BEST decision my parents made for me. I had always got on better with boys throughout primary school, and throughout secondary school was the same. Even with the small number of girls in my year, there was a really high amount of bitchiness and bullying, so the thought of an all girls school fills me with horror. Having the boys helped diffuse the bitchiness and having them around certainly didn't disrupt my education.

But then my younger sister went to an all girls school. Her choice, and my parents supported it. It was a very different environment from what I understand(very VERY competitive in all aspects, sports/grades, which suited my sisters personality) but also very competitive and bitchy when it came to boys and 'doing stuff with boys'.

Shagmundfreud · 10/10/2012 13:34

Taken dd out of mixed school. She'll be starting at a single sex school shortly.

It may reflect the youth culture of our area (London inner city by way of Kingston Jamaica), but I was very disturbed by how aggressively sexualised some of the attitudes were at the mixed comp dd went to. On her second week in year 7 a year 8 boy made her cry by asking her to come around to his house and lick whipped cream off his cock! (he used the word 'dingle' actually, which I felt slightly mitigated the nastiness of the comment....

She's also incredibly self-conscious about her looks - I think this is worse when boys are around. Particularly as she has big boobs (34E - she's just turned 13).

She gets on fine with her boy cousins and has no problem talking to boys outside of school.

Just want her not to be distracted/stereotyped by boys in school.

blondefriend · 10/10/2012 21:16

All things equal! Then a mixed school but I don't think two schools are ever "all things equal". In my area there is a mixed grammar (which my OH and I went to) and a girls' grammar (which our sisters went to). If my dd passes her 11+ she will go to the girls school as we believe it offers a better education. However I work in a mixed grammar (out of catchment) that I believe is better than either of these and we have a huge intake of girls doing maths and science at A-Level. I have also worked in a boys grammar that was fantastic (not boyish at all).

I love this comment:

At least they will not be distracted by falling in love with half the class, then?

My sister is gay! Does that mean she would have been better in a mixed school so that she only fell in love with half the class? Or maybe she is capable of not falling in love with every female she meets. The girls in my school usually find most of the boys in their year a bit immature to be honest.

Girlw6 · 19/10/2012 12:09

Anyone got any experience of doing the 7 + at notting hill and Ealing? How hard and competitive is it. Also any reviews on it as a school? Thank you!

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