Lisaletta, I have asked for advice on a number of schools across a broad spectrum, private schools, state schools, and faith schools. I understand you feel upset by reading advice about a school you know, and quite possibly have a different experience of. I don't think anybody has rubbished a state school without having some experience of the school, whether it is having a child at the school in the past or present, living next door to a school, etc.
I am really appreciative of this thread, as many posters have taken time to post at length both their own experiences and the experiences of others they know. It is invaluable, and I will bear everything in mind when going to all the various open days.
I think the word "rough" has been used about some schools especially because I mentioned my sons history of insecurity, moving a fair bit, bullying, and not being particularly street smart. I feel very protective of my boy, he has not had the greatest of childhoods so far, from a schooling perspective. I know he cannot cope with rough and tumble, being played tricks on, such as making him stumble, or trip over, I know he is extremely upset when he has nobody to sit with during lunch time. He does not say much, but I know it upsets him. He takes offense at rough language, and takes it really to heart if somebody uses the F word. Etc.
He is currently in a state school, a Catholic primary, and seem to thrive more here in a more genteel environment than the very boisterous provincial atmosphere abroad, where
I have not dismissed any schools as of yet, but my main criteria is to find a school where my son can be happy and thrive, it does not need to be 110 % academic, but it must have excellent pastoral care and a caring community.
I also take to heart what some have said about having a rough time at KCS if not either very musical or very sporty, along with the "weekend culture" of Ibstock, as financially we cannot compete with that. This aspect of Ibstock I have heard about before, as it is probably the school I know most of. I have friends and neighbours with children in both the primary and secondary who have mentioned the same.
I will look at both Ashcroft, St Celia, Wimbledon College, Christs, Gunnersbury and Cardinal Vaughn, along with the grammars and public schools. I am at the moment without having seen either hoping for either Gunnersbury or Cardinal Vaughn to be honest, as this will provide the most "stability" for my son, as most boys in his class are aiming in that direction.