Sorry, to continue mini-hijack I left out why I found it interesting: we bought a house off someone who behaved really.... like he was acting as though it was still his house and was telling us what to do, demanding access etc.
My friend said: he is a psychopath. I scoffed, don't be so silly. I mean, come on!! Psychopath. She had been destroyed in her M lives in poverty when she was the professional and he was the beach bum whilst he got her house the pension etc. she said: listen, I was married to one, I am telling you he is one. Rubbish, I said, he's got some outrageous boundaries, but psychopath that's a bit dramatic.
She proceeded to predict everything he was going to do next, and ... he did it. That got my attention. EVERY single demand, objection, assumption of ownership she said he would do, he did. She said: read this book. In it Stout says: don't argue, don't explain, don't even bother with social politeness. Look for the empty eyes, and the pointless lies (and they were there). So, next time he came round to tell us what we had to plant in the garden etc., I said to him 'I do not want to talk to you'. He stopped, turned round and walked away and we haven't seen him since.
Do you see that? The game ended so he stopped playing it. No hard feelings, no humiliation, no nothing.
Then a contractor came round to work near the boundary, and I said to him: do not engage with the previous owner at all, do not speak to him or explain what you are doing... Rubbish! he said... the outcome of it was, in his reasoning and appealing to the better side, he ended up doing a lot of unpaid work!!!!!... and found out I wasnt being dramatic or hysterical either! Now I am in the community I have heard that he badly, badly ripped off the widow of his previous partner who trusted him, and other things. Goes without saying I suppose he is very wealthy.
So whilst we were not hurt by him, others had been I have learned that yes psychopaths are not all axe murderers they are alive and well and living in an area near you.
Hope you don't mind a bit of wobbly gossip!!!