Was going to defer DD, now having cold feet!

[MeredithsTequila]

People keep telling me that she seems ready for school. She's 4 at the end of February, so she could start in August. I'm going to enrol her on Monday which is why it's playing on my mind.

She is quite quiet and compliant, likes 'reading' and has picked up a few sounds. She can count well to ten and recognises numbers to about 13. Can dress herself, ask and go to the toilet independently, shares and plays well.

My nephew will be starting in August (June baby) and he can't do a lot of that.

DH is still in favour of deferring and says that we are thinking about secondary really.

[LunaLoveg00d]

Glad to read you've deferred her.

I have three kids at different stages in school, all of whom have deferred and non-deferred children in their classes. I know lots of parents who have chosen to defer their kids and not one who has regretted it. It's always better to be the oldest than the youngest and even as a parent who is not seeing some of the children in the classroom all of the time it's obvious which of the children are a whole lot younger.

Hadn't heard that there were changes afoot to the intake structure but it is in effect Jan - Dec anyway as so many people with Jan/Feb babies defer. I would say in this area at least 80% of Jan/Feb children are deferred, maybe more.

[Lesley1980]

I'm a February baby & my parents didn't defer. I didn't struggle with lessons or passing exams but I felt a bit left behind socially. In school my friends were learning to drive, sneaking into pubs & I was still too young. I started uni when I was 17 & couldn't get into the union past 8 o'clock for about 6 months & if we got ID at pubs or night clubs I didn't get in. It was hard to fit in as I was excluded from a lot of their social outings & fresher stuff.

[YerAWizardHarry]

We applied today for DS, I said we were thinking about deferring and she put "possible deferral?" At the top of the form and said we can decide nearer the time

[PacificDogwod]

Accepting that there always has to be a 'cut-off' point somewhere and the concern about ever wider age gaps within one year group, I think the answer would/is focussing on each individual child.
Most parents will have a fair idea how well their child is likely to cope at school, different families will have different ideas about what it might be like when their child is a teenager etc. Nurseries should have a say, HVs/GPs if there are any medical concerns.
I don't think that a pre-school assessment would be an unreasonable thing, focussing on social/emotional development.
Pressure ought to be taken off families needing to push for school admission as childcare is too expensive for them
There is good evidence that attainment is better in children who start formal education/school a bit older, or certainly that there is nothing lost by starting older (I've not looked up the evidence, but from memory this is true for reading/language skills anyway).

So, my solution should I ever be in charge of school would be to put school age back to 6 years, with the understanding that there can be flexibility for admitting mature 5 year old and deferred children until they are 7 if need be.

There would be an abundance of funding, staff and training to facilitate all of that of course

[MrsJayy]

What age is he madam ? You can of course regret it but don't feel guilty because you made the decision you thought was best

[IveAlreadyPaid]

In my ds's primary one the oldest turned 6 in December and the youngest wasn't 5 until June!

[celtiethree]

Where I live !!!!! Not like.

[celtiethree]

I think the initial year larger class size will depend a lot on where you are. Where I like most Jan/Feb are deferred but that is not consistent across all areas. What will be contentious will be whether or not there will be automatic funding now for Nov/Dec - I suspect not but may be proven wrong.

[MadamDrag0n]

I didn't fight for the extra year for ds2 and I will always regret it. He manages but I don't want him to manage

[MeredithsTequila]

It's hurting my brain trying to understand it!

So in 2019 (for example), March- February babies should start.

But in 2020, it will be January- December babies. So potentially all those January and Februaries from the year before will start then, possibly making much bigger classes.

The November and December babies will then be the youngest. I wonder if the automatic deferral & funding will transfer to them, or if it will be a way of freeing up nursery spaces.

I think there are figures out there which show families in more deprived areas are less inclined to defer though.

[celtiethree]

A change to Jan - Dec will be interesting to watch, I think it will def up the number of deferrals from the Nov/Dec population. I would expect some push back from councils about funding for an extra year of nursery provision- I know some councils allow it at the moment but I wonder if the thinking is to take away some of the decision making from parents.

[WankersHacksandThieves]

That would surely require a lot of advance notice etc, and some sort of transition for the ones in the cross-over years? I'm thinking of my younger ones here...

I had similar when I started school way back in 1971, up to that point they'd had a twice a year starting system. In my year they did away with that and merged the all the starters into one group so we had a 15 month spread before you even got to the deferred children etc which tbf wasn't as common then. Anyway, it meant that a lot of primary schools needed an extra class and then High school was a nightmare as 5 feeder primary schools all had an extra class going up.

[MeredithsTequila]

I enrolled her and she has been deferred! So that's that, and what happens happens!

Also had a little walk down the infant corridor with the (very lovely) deputy head and it looks a great environment.

they're planning on changing the enrolment from Mar-Feb to Jan-Dec by the time he goes to school

Oh really? That would surely require a lot of advance notice etc, and some sort of transition for the ones in the cross-over years? I'm thinking of my younger ones here...

[MrsJayy]

Deferrring wasnt as pushed for as it is now , Dd is 19 in Feb and nursery said she was ok for school we ummed and ahhed and sent her. P1 was a disaster p2 slightly better and then you have the other end she was socially and emotionally not in line with her peers she did ok academically she does have some sen but i regret sending her. If you are unsurse i would defer another year at nursery will do no harm

[Themoonhatesthestars]

I will have the same problem next year with my daughter as she's the last day in February and I'm already thinking of the consequences of deferring her and not because she'll not be ready to go to P1 but because of secondary education, exams and leaving school at 17 and 4 months. In my local authority you can apply to defer Jan/Feb children but have to get school/council approval to defer Nov/Dec children. I know there will always be a youngest child in the class and I was one of them being a December baby and I don't think it impacted on me too much. I think I'll be happier in the long run having to entertain a bored small child than have an overwhelmed teenager during exams. My son is also February and I have heard rumours from a couple of sources that they're planning on changing the enrolment from Mar-Feb to Jan-Dec by the time he goes to school but not managed to find anything official on it so it could just be someone's good idea. If you're happier deferring then do it.

[WankersHacksandThieves]

I agree with prettybird. Although both my boys are summer birthdays so no deferral, neither could write their name/recognise 2 digit numbers etc. They could both read fluently by P2 and had finished first 3 Harry Potters by P3! DS1 really struggled with times tables in primary but scored 98% in his Nat5 maths, so you really never know....concentration and the ability to sit and listen are probably key factors though and I'd also agree that you never hear people wishing they hadn't deferred but do hear people who wished they had. All children are different though so it's a tough decision. Good luck to all having to make it.

[prettybird]

Ds (September birthday so not quite 5 when he started P1) knew the letter "Mmmm" (first letter of his name) when he started school but could recognise his name; the school was pleased that he could do so (so that he could identify "his" peg), as not all P1s could do even that.

Even so, he took until Easter of P2 to "get" reading. They all develop differently and isn't a reflection of their academic ability. He's now in S5 and set to do really well in his Highers (which include English ).

[YerAWizardHarry]

My sons name is basically a circle, two lines and then the last letter is a bit harder

[Alwaysinahurrynow]

yerawizard completely understand your position. My DS1's name is 5 letters and luckily really easy phonetically, so he's good at that too! Although apparently I've been doing the verticals wrong - who knew!

[YerAWizardHarry]

Don't get me wrong - I know DS is smart, but he doesn't have the mental capacity to sit and listen for long periods. His learning journal is consistently says "needed quite a bit of support with this" and his name is only 4 letters so quite easy to write.

I just feel although he might be fine in primary one it doesn't mean he will be in first year or sitting exams early and I'd rather give him that extra edge now

[Alwaysinahurrynow]

Maybe I'm a bit behind the curve here, but I would say an only just 4 year old who can recognise 2 digit numbers and knows letters is absolutely fine academically. There's still 8 months until the start of the academic year.

Being left handed is not an issue in itself (my mum goes ballistic when any teacher comments on it as she's left handed and a teacher), but I can understand how it makes scissors, and working out how to hold a pen more difficult especially if you don't know anyone left-handed who can help to show them. His pre-school should be doing this though.

However, I completely understand your personal circumstances.

[YerAWizardHarry]

Just to add, we are enrolling him in school too as a "just in case" as I may tank my exams later this year or funding doesn't go through for whatever reason.

[YerAWizardHarry]

We are deferring my January born DS. He is tall for his age (people often think he looks old enough to be at school already) and emotionally would manage well but academically I think might struggle. He can recognise 2 digit numbers and we're working on letters but he's a leftie and struggles with holding a pen properly, using scissors etc.

Part of the reason is that I'm starting university and they're fully funding a nursery place for him in their purpose built, brand new building and I thought, why not if it's on offer? I also think the new environment will do him good as he won't miss friends from his current preschool who are going to school.

[gracielooloo]

Totally agree Always, my DD is a November Birthday and is second youngest in her P3 class. Academically she's fine but I don't think socially she's as confident as the older girls.
At the time though I didn't consider deferring her with a November Birthday, that to us seemed mad!

[Redyoyo]

One thing I would say is if you are going to enrol and wait till nearer the time to decide, make sure your nursery will keep the place open. This was what we were going to do with our dd, the nursery was attached to the school and the deputy head who was dealing with the enrolment told me on the day that once I'd enrolled my dd she would automatically lose her nursery place. The school and nursery are heavily over subscribed.