What do your DS's do justwith their Dads??

[PrettyFeckinVacant]

I am getting really pee'ed off with my H (separating). There is nothing special that he does with our DS (10).

DS has been having golf lessons for the last year so I suggest they do that together but H doesn't like golf.

Recently, DS went out with a friend and his family and they went fishing (just using cheap rods etc) and he really enjoyed himself - came back buzzing about it.

I have tried to set up H taking DS to a local fishery where they can rent the equipment and get a lesson in casting etc and then, after DS went to bed last night, H said "I dont fancy fishing in any shape or form"!

I reminded him this wasn't for him it was to get out with DS and just enjoy the day - but he wont do it

I am taking our 2 DD's out today so was hoping the boys would have a boys day.

What do your DS's do with their Dads??

[SeasideLil]

I'm not sure dads have to 'do things' to have meaningful time with their children on the weekends, do they? My DH is happy to go on a day out to an activity place or park, or take my DD's cycling if they want. But there's also a lot of him lying on the sofa watching TV with them, eating food together, even him having little lie-down with them bouncing around the room (not having a nap), just hanging out. He is quite tired on the weekends...

I wouldn't try to control exactly how their relationship is going to develop after splitting up TBH. They might or might not get into fishing and carry on. But I would completely reinforce for both your DS and your DH how much they like spending time together and how much they talk about it afterwards, etc. It sounds like a bit of encouragement to spend time together, whatever they do, is having positive effects.

[OrganicHairbrush]

Argue about politics.

It gets quite soporific...

[BallpointPen]

I bought This book, Dad Stuff (well, More Dad Stuff but that's beside the point) for DP on his first fathers day. It's chock full of ideas for things to amuse children. Things like magic tricks, games to play using things from around the house, recipes etc.

Fun and useful. I recommend it and not just to dads.

[Iklboo]

Lego
'Rough-housing' & silly games
Gardening

[ItalyLovingMummy]

Cycling - my DS is nearly 2 and DH puts him in a bike trailer and they go off cycling, usually stopping for cake somewhere. Lovely for them both and lovely for me as I have a morning to do what I want. They potter about in the garden together too as DS loves to help water plants. DH cooks at the weekend and DS likes to be with him in the kitchen 'assisting'. Your soon to be ex-H sounds a bit difficult, put the ball in his court and ask him what he enjoys doing that he could do with your DS.

[othersideofthechannel]

bike rides

modelling scenery and painting figurines

board/card games

making fires

[GirlWithTheMouseyHair]

DS is only 18mo but I think DH is starting to appreciate the stuff he can do with him. I had a Saturday afternoon all to myself a few weeks ago when I packed them off to homebase to get some bits and they were gone 3 hours!

Some great ideas in here though - love the thought of them going camping or skiing together as DH loves both and I loathe both (then I can take DS out to nice lunches and the theatre)

[ljgibbs]

What about judo or karate, or some other martial art? There are a lot of clubs that do a parent and child session.

[OhForASilentNight]

I'm really lucky... DH does community based work and when we decided that he should have some mornings just with DD1 (then 2.5) he started his own dad's and toddler/preschooler group (every 2nd saturday morning). He found that dads seem to need more structure than mums and weren't happy to just "play" so most weeks they do some baking (he even has DD eating cheese and courgette muffins!), some activity (painting, sowing seeds, etc) and a little bit of "just playing" time... think he is a bit of a super hero dad really - if only i could get him to learn how to pick up his own socks he'd be perfect!

[KnackeredOfLeeds]

Dh and ds don't have any special boy activities either.. I chunter about him spending more time with DS (nearly 4) and he wants to take him caving?!!? .

Ds does follow dh around and go in the garage with him using chisels and hammer and nails all the stuff that I'd veto..

I'm similar dh away all week so I have kids to myself but he wants to do jobs when he comes home and gets frustrated by 'family time' chunter chunter chunter....

[QueenMuvva]

DH is great. He takes our DS (aged 5) to the football once a month. Takes him out for half a day/a day most weekends. Sometimes just to the park or swimming, sometimes on a day out to a museum or something similar. They have a board game evening every week or two, and they also get DS's telescope set up when the sky is clear and star-watch togetehr (big geeky passion for DS).

To be honest, he is much better than me.

Why doesn't your DH think of something he'd like to do and take your son along. Would be a good start.

[PrettyFeckinVacant]

Awww, Ozzie - Your DH sounds like he will be a fab Dad.

Hope all goes well with the Birth

[Ozziegirly]

I have to say, as one who is currently gestating a male, I am SO looking forward to having my son around after reading all these posts.

I love the thought of DH and babyozzie heading off on jaunts together.

DH is a real boys boy too and loves sport and the outdoors so it will be nice to have that love to pass on.

We walked up to a fort recently and DH was excitedly saying how when he was small he would have been running around in battle here with his dad and brother, bless his violent little soul.

[amothersplaceisinthewrong]

DH taught DS to cook and to row.

[PrettyFeckinVacant]

unquietdad, I have this image of you now, haring down a hill, unable to stop.

I like lots of the ideas here.
I like the camping/football/sports ones.
H has talked about taking all 3 dc camping. But that is all he does. Talk.
He works away Mon to Fri. Has done for a long time.
I think he has forgotten how to get involved with the DC.
I am just worried that when we split, he wont make the effort.

Just before DS went to sleep tonight, he said "I had a great time with Dad today"

I am glad I virtually bullied him into going fishing

[UnquietDad]

I'm not sporty at all, really, but DS and I do go to the park and kick a ball around with equal incompetence. Luckily the park has a bit of a slope so we can just enjoy racing each other as we hare after it.

Other than that, I share with DW taking him to the library and enjoying books, and occasionally swimming.

[Clary]

My DSs and their dad watch footie (on TV or at the match, even better).

DS1 in partic goes for long walks with his dad, maybe when the rest of us are doing something a bit younger (eg church club which he has kind of grown out of). They spot butterflies and birds.

DH always looked after them when they were little at least one weekday (we were both part-time at work) so he is used to being with them. They do different things and do them in a different way than I would with them and I like that (eg DS2 merrily tells me "we stop at this shop for samosas on the way home from football" etc).

When he is off with them they often go to the cinema together (this is all the DC btw, he doesn't leave DD at home or anythign!)

Also they have all been camping together a coupel of long weekends in the summer (I don't do camping any more)

[Tanga]

Swimming (I hate it) biking, woodwork, going to a local dealership and looking at motorhomes (honest! they love it!) going out on the motorbike (only oldest 2) Diggerland, table tennis, badminton and bowling (the old-fashioned indoor kind, not 10 pin).

We regularly use local leisure centres for activities - might be a good idea for your H to check them out before winter? (ie when too cold for fishing).

[MarineIguana]

Go for walks, and they also like doing techie stuff at home - making a construction or electronics kit, or any computer-fixing type job DP has to do, DS loves to watch and help.

It's great that your H has made an effort and got a positive result with the fishing.

[pugsandseals]

DH takes our 'tomboy' rollerblading at the leisure centre! Worth a try?

[taffetacat]

Glad the fishing went well. DH takes DS (6.5) to football each Saturday, goes on bike rides with him ( I love the men snacks munstersmum! what are they? sausages? lol ), does drilling jobs with him ( gives him the drill which terrifies me ), twice a year does golf with him when he visits driving range, and they play a lot of chess together.

They also do Maths together all the time, partly because they both love it and also because I hate it.

Also,DS has been playing a lot of tennis the last year as he's in a special squad thing and DH has said he'll take him to a local club where he used to play this Summer.

[MrsJohnDeere]

Rugby matches, Duxford (to look at aircraft), plane spotting at the local airport, food shopping (yet they're a nightmare if I attempt that with them), visit relatives.

[PrettyFeckinVacant]

Well I think so pixie but then I am slightly biased

They also love bike rides - good idea munster

[munstersmum]

They don't do cooking but they love ice-cream making - that's completely different!

It may seem old-fashioned but nothing wrong with a bike ride & take 'men snacks' not picnic.