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Upset with friends and i am not sure if i expect to much

4 replies

Mud · 15/07/2005 18:50

i havne't been here for a while but i am quite angry and upset. my house is normally the centre of everything and i always have people over for lunch with their children. there are normally upwards of 6 children screaming round my house. same circle of 3 close friends over the last 3 years.

this week for various reasons i have needed some help, i knew this would happen and all friends were offering to help out over the last 2 weeks in advance and to have the kids for dinner as i don't have any gas at the moment. its friday and it seems there has been valid reason after valid reason for why no help was forthcoming each of which i accepted and understood but when you put them all together against the amount of favours and lunches i've done over the lat 3 years i'm now upset

even though i've always loved having everyone over here in the past nowfeel taken for granted and let down and don't know wht to do now

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Satine · 15/07/2005 19:17

I've really noticed this with my DH being in Iraq for 6 months. Plenty of people promised the earth but some (sadly including some members of my family) have been busy every time I've asked for help. But boy does it make me appreciate the absolute angels who step in at a moment's notice when I just can't take it any more!

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Mud · 15/07/2005 19:06

couldn't talk to them about it because each reason was valid and i did turn down 1 genuine offer but will learn your lesson purpleturtle

its funy but someone i thought of as an acquaintance and not a friend was far more insistent on me taking their help than any of the poeple who have lived at my house and on my food for years

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purpleturtle · 15/07/2005 18:58

I think that you should talk to your friends about it, if you can. Perhaps you could point out that having offered to help, they could have done a bit more to make sure they would be available?

And the lesson for you to learn, perhaps, if I may be so bold, is that when people offer in that vague 'anything I can do' kind of way, you should say something like "It would be great if I could bring the kids to you on Tuesday of that week", and make a more definite plan upfront.

I totally understand how you feel. The best thing to do is to make it a learning experience all roundd.