Following on from a different thread I started, I have been wondering alot about favours for friends.
Do you do your friends 'favours'?
Is this a regular thing?
Do you mind at all?
Do you ask your friends for favours?
What do you expect from your friends?
I know this is probably coming out all a bit gobbledegook but I find this part of friendships difficult.
I tend not to ask for favours, unless I am desperate and there is no other way of doing things, since I hate to put anyone in the situation where they say yes, but really don't want to IYSWIM. I am a bit like that, hate to say no, incase I offend anyone, so I dont want to make anyone else feel like that.
If a friend offers me something, then I always ask them if they are sure and then graciously accept and it means alot to me, but I am beginning to feel in a minority. Most of my friends seem to constantly need help, which they are always asking their friends for.
I think I offended one of my friends the other day by saying No to looking after her 2DC for an afternoon, so she could spend the afternoon in bed with her b/f.
I am beginning to feel like a really selfish person.
I just don't want to be relied upon regularly, unless it's an emergency (There I've said it out loud!! Phew!!)
This may be because I don't rely on other people regularly, think I have asked if a friend could lend me a cup of sugar once in 5 yrs. I find it so hard to say no though.
I usually end up feeling like I am having the piss taken out of me. I don't ask friends to watch my DC, I don't borrow money from friends every week, I don't ask them for lifts, I don't need my friends for what they have got, but rather for who they are.
Am I making any sense? I feel like I have rambled on abit, but I'm beginning to feel quite stressed about this. I do offer my friends help sometimes, but I feel me offering is different to my friends asking IYSWIM. It kind of means I don't mind, or I am happy to do this.
My friends do seem to hint first and I do pick up on these hints ie: I need to get to XXX next week on a Monday, but the bus is going to cost me XXX amount. I usually reply with something like 'Oh dear, thats not good.' Then said friend will ask me outright, can you take me and pick me up?
Maybe I should say something as soon as they hint?
Why can't I just say No. Is it really so terrible of me?
Do you rely on your friends for anything?
Opinions v v v v welcome
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Favours for friends.
17 replies
twigsblankets · 04/08/2009 10:12
OP posts:
cat64 ·
04/08/2009 13:48
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cat64 ·
04/08/2009 14:27
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