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My mum is, in fact, a complete tart.

42 replies

MyMumIsASlapper · 22/06/2009 08:44

Please don't trip trap me, this is genuine and i am a namechanging regular. i cannot even think about this under my regular guise.

after 30 years of marriage my parents are separating because of my mother's infidelities.

i have had my suspicions for the last 15 years tbh but fervently hoped i was wrong, plus with the morals and values i was brought up with it seemed inconceivable.

but i was not wrong, it has all come out.

and my mum expects everybody to just carry on as normal. she is in the process of moving out, but does not seem to have told anyone, friends/relations etc.

dad is doing v well and being v prgamatic and sensible.

my siblings are refusing to speak to my mother because of her behaviour, the short version being she has had several "affairs" with so-called family friends, both married and unmarried.

i am the only one who lives locally and the only one with dcs, while they do not see a huge amount of my mum, they are fond of her. my dh wants nothing to do with her but will support me in however i want to react.

i am, frankly, reeling at her behaviour, it is so contradictory to what she preaches, so to speak and am really not sure how to behave toward her.

finished?

well done and thank you.

hit me with the mn wiseness please, as if i was ever in need of it, it is now

OP posts:

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janegrey · 22/06/2009 22:31

OP - my mum had a succession of affairs which led to my parents almost splitting up when I was 13. That was the most miserable year of my life.

They stayed together, then she had another affair when I was at college - which she insisted on confiding to me about. It was a horrible thing to expect a daughter to do.

She had at least two other indiscretions after that, including sleeping with my father's brother (my dad and my father's brother never found out to my knowledge -it's only me and my dh who know and dh wishes he doesn't).

She died a few years ago and I'm afraid to say a part of me still hates her for what she did, largely because of the misery it caused to us children.

However, my father could be a complete B* to her and I believe there was domestic abuse from him, plus she had had an incredibly unhappy childhood and I think she was continually seeking affection and attention which she didn't always get from my dad.

So these things are never simple I suspect and at least you are now an adult which might make it a bit easier to deal with - although still a terrible shock.

Your feelings are very normal in the circumstances, and I suggest coming on here and having a rant is an excellent thing.

I really wouldn't cut off contact, but I don't think there's anything wrong with you telling her, as calmly as you can, how you are feeling.