DH and I have been married for a few years now but decided to put off having DC until we were ready.
PIL didn't like this and went on at us incessantly to have DC. They didn't like the fact that we wanted to wait, and were actually on at us about having DC as soon as we got together (we were 18, still in college and so not ready)
Anyhow to fast forward a few years, DH and I decided to try to get pg and the result of that is DS who is now 15mo and tearing around our living room as I type this lol.
The thing that I find very odd is now that DS is here PIL just don't care. They live a 15min drive from us (we don't have a car) and they hardly ever come here to see DS or us (they used to come lots before DS was born)
They are always welcome, and I have actually invited them before now (everyone knows that they do not need an invite to pop in and see us, our door is always open)
DH doesn't say anything but I can tell it upsets him. We go to see them (1.5hour bus journey on 2 buses, so 3 hours traveling altogether) every other week. We ring them to make sure it is okay for us to go. When we get there they make me feel about as welcome as a rabid dog to be quite honest.
PIL are now saying that we never make time for them and in FIL's own words to DH, 'that wife of yours has a lot to answer for'. Dh asked FIl what he meant by that but FIL would not say. I again (yes I was in the room when he said this) reiterated that both MIL and FIL more than welcome to come and visit whenever they want.
I think (I hope I am not reading too much in to this) that my PIL are jealous of me as I am their sons wife and the mother of his child. I also think that my PIL honestly believe that I am stopping DH from seeing them, I am not. I am pg with number 2 now and FIL said that I should abort it so that I can't trap DH any longer. PIL still never mention anything about DS, when they come here it is like they cannot even stand to look at him. MIL is better when she is on her own though.
I am shocked that they think I am that nasty and conniving, I mean we have had our run in's in the past but I thought that we had dealt with them at the time and drawn a line under them, like adults do.
I don't know what to do, DH wont talk about it (I understand as I suppose it is too hard for him to deal with) But I really want my DS and this lo to have a good relationship with their grandparents.
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Need some advice on how to handle this situation.
17 replies
whydotheydothis · 05/02/2009 16:51
OP posts:
CapricaSix ·
06/02/2009 08:36
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