I have name changed as i am trying to keep this situation private in RL.
My DH was unfaithful to me. It was mainly texting, emailing and flirting i don't think they ever slept together, but in my eyes he has still betrayed me...he talked about our relationship to her, slagged me off basically, she did the same about he boyfriend.
I confronted him about this on several occasions over the course of about 4 months, his response was to deny it, call me mad / paranoid / depressed / needing help...the ususal things men do when they are guilty...she was just 'one of the lads'....apparantly. it wasn't until easter this year when i found an email from him to her declaring she meant so much to him and always would, that he finally came clean and admitted he had let his feelings run away with him, it was a friendship that had got out of hand and that yes he'd been a wnker. I realise it could have been much much worse, but i still feel betrayed, not so much by what he has done with her, but the deceit, betrayal and the downright nastiness of his behaviour towards me during this time, particularly as i suffered a miscarriage around the same time.
We are 4 months on from that and i don't feel like I can move on. I am trying to forgive him (although still feel incredibly angry sometimes), but i just cannot forget. We had a good relationship before, i felt we were a good team and he was a good husband and father. Now sometimes I look at him and all I can see is a lying deceitful cheat. I thought time would heal things, but i still feel as angry now as I did 4 months ago. He still works with this woman (although not closely) and swears he has nothing to do with her anymore, unless absolutely necessary. I have asked him to find another job, but this is difficult financially. We spoke about it again today and he says he would look for another job if that's what i really want but it would put a strain on things and to be honest I am not sure it would change how I feel. I have thought about councilling but not sure what it involves and whether it would just make things worse. I am not sure what I expect anyone to say really, I just want things how they were, but has that gone forever? It just makes me cry to think it's all so fcked up.
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Relationships
same old story - he's messed it all up...how do we get back on track?
3 replies
catnapping · 16/07/2008 20:06
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