Next of kin question

[Jelliebaby]

Not sure if this is the right place to post this question, couldn't find a legal bit.

Me and DP have lived together for 4 years, we have a DD who is 3 and DP has a DD who is 9 from another relationship. If anything happened to either of us who would be our next of kin? Both sets of parents are alive.

Just to add we have joint life insurance but its just against the house so if anything happened to me the house would be paid off and vice versa. What about our savings and other assets?

[clumsymum]

I think they would let you sit down during the ceremony in the register office

[minster]

My db & SIL did that - a registry office ceremony with about 10 people present then a curry for the sake of legal protection for their children & themselves. Three years later they had an amazing (& v. expensive ) wedding with a humanist presiding (in all other ways completely traditional - hat & big dresses!) but they regard as their real wedding.

Really marriage may just be 'a piece of paper' but it is a really important one.

[clumsymum]

If you don't have enough in the estate to pay off the credit card debt, it gets written off. BUT, the house is half his, right? so that is part of his estate (paid off by the insurance). So the credit card company could force the sale (or mortgage) of the house to liquidate enough to pay the debt.

[Jelliebaby]

It would be cheaper to get married at a register office then get a will i would imagine. Im pregnant at the moment though and suffering with severe sickness so getting a will would be less energetic.

I imagine its the same for debts then? DP has more owing on credit card than savings so i would expect that would go to his parents.

Really scared about the house situation though, assumed our life insurance would cover that.

[wannaBe]

nip down the registry office and get married.

If he dies you could lose your home. your child could lose her home.

[clumsymum]

why not get married? Why do you keep putting it off until next year?

Never mind spending thousands on a "big wedding". For £75 and an hour of your time (what a register office wedding costs), you can secure your future and that of your children. Have a big party for family and friends at another time.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

And also as well if he died suddenly you would be declared as being "present at the death". His parents as next of kin would register his death and choose his headstone. You as his partner will not be able to do that nor open Letters of Administration.

[Jelliebaby]

No neither of us orealised this. I think we will be getting a will asap.

We do intend to get married at some point but it keeps going back to 'next year' so it could take forever.

Thanks for all the advice

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

There's no maybe about it. You must both make wills (ABSOLUTELY NOT DIY ONES; properly drawn up wills done by a Solicitor which will likely set you back around £100-£200 depending on the complexity of the estates) to each declare your intentions. Also if you remain unmarried and one of you dies then there is the thorny inheritance tax issue. You won't be able to avoid IHT if you remain unmarried. You could potentially end up paying 40% of the estate costs. You may have to sell your home in order to meet the Inland Revenue bill.

I am not suggesting that you get married but generally speaking you are far more protected legally speaking if you are married than if you are not. Same applies to your children too.

As it stands now you each will be in one hell of a legal mess if either of you die suddently. And as well as dealing with your own grief the legal side will also take an age to sort out.

Your entire estate could easily go to the Crown or his parents. Your partner is not your relative in law as you are unmarried. Does your partner realise all the above, I think not. Same with his estate - you may well come away without anything if he dies.

[Jelliebaby]

Yeah he is on DD's birth certificate although he isn't on his other DD's birth certificate (from another relationship)

I can see it all gets quite complicated and is quite worrying.

[clumsymum]

You see, when I see threads about "I don't see the point in getting married" I think about all this.

The problems of being unmarried become very difficult in an emergency.

Strictly speaking your dp could not consent to (nor decline) treatment for you if you were seriously ill, nor you for him.

If either of you die, the other will not be able to deal with any of that administration, register the death, make the funeral arrangement, even formally identify the body. All that goes to the next of kin, in this case the parents.

BTW, without a will some consideration will be made for a dependant child before assets are passed on to parents.
I assume your DP is named on DD's birth certificate, otherwise that will be complicated too.

[Jelliebaby]

Mmmmmm Maybe getting a will is the best thing to do, especially as i don't get on with his parents so wouldn't be a good situation to be in.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

See my next reply. It may well not

[wannaBe]

your parents are your next of kin.

Would you consider getting married? It makes things a lot easier especially wrt money and security for your dd should either of you die.

If one of you dies now you will not even be allowed to register the death.

And if you don't have a will then the house will go to the next of kin ie the parents.

If he dies you will not be entitled to anything and vice versa.

I know someone this happened to. Her dp died suddenly and she didn't even know about all this until she went to collect the death certificate and was told she wasn't his next of kin so had no rights.

She lost her house and everything.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

If you die before you make a will your unmarried partner won't automatically inherit anything from you, regardless of how long you've been together. Everything, right down to the gifts and cards your partner gave you, will go to your nearest blood relative. In fact, if you don't leave a will, the Crown is more likely to automatically inherit from you than your partner!

Inhertiance tax is another issue that needs consideration. Like dying without a will, it is particularly a problem for cohabiting couples. Unlike married couples or civil partners, couples that live together potentially have to pay tax on anything that they inherit from each other. This includes your share of the home if you own it, which could force your partner to have to sell up to pay the tax bill if you died.

[Jelliebaby]

Thanks for that. Would the life insurance not cover the house?

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Your DP is not regarded as next as kin as he is not regarded as your relative. You are two separate people legally speaking.

Your parents are your next of kin, this applies to your partner too with his parents.

You should seek legal advice asap re the house and other assets particularly if you want these to be left to each other after death.

If you were to die suddenly your partner could NOT open Letters of Adminsitration or even obtain a headstone. Also if he were to die suddenly you could not obtain a widows allowance (think that is around £80 a week) as you are unmarried.