Have they found any medication for loss of libido yet? And also this question: If you don't really ever want to do it, but feel you should...

[lossoflibido]

... in order to please your dh/dp, what kind of attitude do you think it would be appropriate to display? Faking enthusiasm? Or just general niceness? Can't really make it too obvious that it's more of a sacrifice than anything else really can I?

(God and I SO wish that I could just switch it on FFS )

[lossoflibido]

Sometimes dh drives me mad by constantly nagging me, but recently I've blown my top about that and he's calmed down.

[limecrush]

'The last time I really felt the urge was three years ago, before I got pregnant with my third child.'

I think the answer to your loss of libido is 3 KIDS!! Don't be hard on yourself, I reckon your body is screaming for lots of sleep/time off rather than orgasms...

I can't be bothered with masturbation either and that is a red flag for me- I was never like that before the kids.

I do think bfing does dampen down the drive a lot too.

Is dh agitating for attention? Or can you just say 'look I am knackered and off it, please be patient'?

[NotQuiteCockney]

It sounds like you might be tired. Any hope of you getting a day/afternoon/something to yourself? You may find your libido returns if you get some rest.

I don't think BFing that often should affect it, but women vary, obviously.

[lossoflibido]

The only I can, ahem, reach the "peak" is manually, IYSWIM. Dh used to do this for me but now I just can't be bothered with it either, not even masturbating.

Can't do it weekend mornings, too many kids around.

The last time I really felt the urge was three years ago, before I got pregnant with my third child.

Am still b/feeding once or twice a day btw, am hoping that that might be to blame?

[limecrush]

on more serious note think depression (defined in mild sense as exhaustion/low mood) can really affect sex drive. They say in any depressive state it is the first thing to go and the last to come back. Are you feeling generally low?

[limecrush]

hehe Tommy- god knows why it had that effect on me but it definitely did. Citalopram having exact opposite impact

[Tommy]

no - limecrush - that's what I'm on!

[anorak]

Good for you for making the effort when you don't feel like it. IME tiredness is often a major cause in people with children, LOL, that shouldn't surprise anyone

Have you tried weekend mornings rather than evenings - you tend to be less tired and more relaxed especially if still half-asleep!

[NotQuiteCockney]

Have you always felt this way about sex? Or is this a recent thing?

Do you get any time to do anything just for yourself? (I'm assuming you're a mum.) Go for a run, pamper yourself, uninterrupted bath?

[limecrush]

loss by 'don't particularly enjoy it' I presume you mean no, er, peak experience?? could that be his problem i.e. he's gone mechanical (or is too quick cos he's desperate lol)

[Twinklemegan]

Definitely not just your problem. I just can't bring myself to do it when I don't feel like it, which I never do. Especially with all my ishoos surrounding childbirth etc. Very unfair on DH, I know.

[limecrush]

oh btw I was on sertraline when I went sex mad so maybe that is your aphrodisiac drug

[lossoflibido]

The only time we do it is when I feel I can't make him go without any longer. When we do do it I don't mind it, but I wouldn't say I particularly enjoy it.

[limecrush]

nah loss it isn't

I've lost (most of) mine since I changed depression meds 3 weeks ago. Went from rampant sexual mania to take it or leave it- and I'd rather leave it and have a nice cup of coffee, etc.

I am trying the niceness thing and being honest about my lack of response. I find when we do it I can (usually) get into it.

Try it when you know you're ovulating too as it tends to be easier to get aroused imho!!

[Tommy]

don't know but I thought you'd started my thread... will watch with interest

[NotQuiteCockney]

I don't think drugs work for female libido problems - the root causes are generally psychological, rather than the hydraulic issues that (sometimes) plague men.

Do you often end up having sex when you don't want to do it, but feel you should? Do you end up enjoying it?

[lossoflibido]

obviously just my problem then