I’ve been with my current other half for 9 years - we have one little boy age 5.
I'm beginning to have reached the end of my tether with his horrifically unpredictable moods. It’s like a light switch, one minute he’s fine, next he’s fuming over nothing or something ridiculous. I wake up each day not knowing what mood he’s going to be in. Feel like I’m walking on egg shells, on edge, trying to keep everyone happy and if DS is too loud, makes too much noise, it just sends him into meltdown mode (sounds like I’m talking about a toddler) - but yeah he just can’t stand the noise.
I find it hard to confront him with how I’m feeling - for example I confronted him on the phone on Monday night about something (he works away from home during the week so I spoke to him on phone) - and he turned the whole thing around to be totally my fault and basically ended up arguing and then he hung up on me. It’s now Wednesday and I’ve not heard anything from him. Tried to message etc & he’s not replied. Total ghosting. 😳
I find he blows up over the smallest things - like we were going camping, it was stressful leaving the house with child, Puppy etc trying to get the car packed etc (this was just normal family leaving the house stress) - but he blew it completely out of proportion stress wise, said it was totally my fault and it was me that had made it stressful & ended up saying ‘right that’s it we aren’t going’ - so I went back inside with little boy and just left him in car to cool off. When he came back in, he totally acted like nothing had even happened and just said ‘we going then?’ 😳🫣
this happens often, where he will cause a huge upset and then act like nothing has even happened. Another example, in supermarket and DS says he wanted a pack of these particular choc bars… before I could even breathe to say anything he abruptly said ‘NO your not having them’ ☹️… then we picked some other bits up and he said ‘we’ve picked some things for this evening for us so let DS pick something!’ 🫣 even though he had just caused an upset by saying ‘NO put them back’ 🤷🏻♀️
I’m going crazy with it. Almost at the end of my absolute tether I feel. I’ve been ghosted for almost 3 days. And yeah obviously there’s plenty of other examples of scenarios but these ones have been quite recent.
Please help with opinions… I feel like maybe I already know the answer but I need strangers / outsiders opinions Before I feel like I’m going crazy…
also just to add - he is very clever at ‘controlling’ but in a crafty way. So he’s never ever told me I can’t go anywhere or do anything - but when I say ‘oh I’m going here today’ for example… he will then change his tone, make me feel guilty and make it almost difficult for me to feel happy about my plans etc… it makes me feel like I have to consult him / tell him everything I’m doing and who I’m going to see etc friend wise.
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Am I going crazy? Is this normal behaviour?
Lucjay123 · 17/04/2024 21:19
AttilaTheMeerkat · 17/04/2024 21:34
The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none. Your relationship with him therefore is over and was the first time he abused you.
How can you be helped into leaving your (and in turn your son’s) abuser?. Your son cannot afford to grow up thinking his fathers abusive behaviour towards you as his mother is at all normal. He needs to know that there is no place for abuse in relationships.
He will continue to give you spaghetti head and the silent treatment I’d a further example of emotional abuse. Seek support too from Women’s Aid, go into Boots the chemist and ask for Ani (action needed immediately), you will be directed to domestic abuse support services.
What is the situation re the finances and property?.
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