Should I feel bad?

[faffer]

My mum kept going on about wanting to join a gym and I really wanted to join one too. Anyway where we live the 4 main council run gyms are linked so if you're a member of one you can use any of them IYSWIM?

Anyway this worked out ok as there is one near me and one near my mum so we decided that we'd join up and sometimes use the one near her and other times use the one near me.

Anyway every time I mentioned joining up she made an exucse "no money" "bad back" etc so I said outright "do you want to join or not?" and she said "yes, definately..."

However since then I found another gym, a private one which was cheaper and right next to the kids school so it would be a case of a 5 minute walk every morning. So much easier then trailing across town to go to the one near my mum so I joined up.

Anyway she's a bit upset as she wanted me to join the council one so that we could go together but it seemed like I was waiting around for ever and it felt like wasting time. Plus as I said, this other one is better anyway so I asked her if she wanted to join this one with me so she asked if they were all "young and skinny", I said "not all of them..." so she said "oh it doesnt matter, I'll just join the council one on my own" but she was really off about it .

She did the same a few months ago, she wanted me to start "aqua swimming" with her. I was concerned that it would be full of old people (I'm only 26) and she promised it wasn't. Anyway we went and I swear I was the only person under 50 there. I was so embarrassed. After that I said it wasn't really "my thing" and didnt go again so my mum gave it up too stating that "since nobody would go with her" she had to give it up.

I just dont see why people cant do stuff on their own? I always have too, nobody would take up tai bo with me so I had to go alone but I'm always made to feel guilty when its the other way around.

[ItCameUponAMidnightClara]

You were the only one under 50 at an aqua class and this embarrassed you? How odd.

Your poor mum. You shouldn't have agreed to join the same gym as her in the first place, you went elsewhere without asking her if she wanted to join that one, and your answer to 'are they all young and skinny' should have been 'of course not!' and not the feeble 'not all of them'.

If I were in your shoes I know my mum would be hurt and I'd be feeling like shit and rightly so.

[Alambil]

Don't feel bad; you can see she is guilt tripping you so don't go down there.

Sounds so easy doesn't it?! I really should take my own advice!

Join the gym that is best for you - attend the gym for you - not for your mum. Surely if it is cheaper than the council one it is best for both of you anyway? Or is it more a case of because you suggested it, it isn't as good (my mum and nan do this - sooooo annoying).