NC for this.
DH keeps control of all finances. Gives me a monthly ‘salary’ which is quite generous for food and daily expenses. Anything outside that I have to ask him for it and he usually says no. But that’s ok cause it’s probably only for crap like clothes that I have enough of. DH earns 6 figures but more in the higher end of 6 figures- for context. I had my own little corporate job earning about £45k so when we had children I gave it up to look after them. So I’ve lost my career and I suppose it hurts a bit that I have to ask him for £££ every time I need/ want anything. DH is a good father to DD and DS. A bit more in love with DD who is 5 then DS 3. DD has realised this and has started manipulating him quite a bit. For e.g. today she didn’t want to do her maths school work so started screaming and crying knowing well that he’d come to her rescue. He comes down and gives me a push on my shoulder and asks me to get out. This is the first time he’s done it but every time this has happened he’s gone straight to her and shouted at me. I’m beginning to feel he’s abusing me. My mother stayed in an abusive relationship or at least it seemed to me it was from where I was standing because like me she had nowhere to go. I don’t know if I am doing the same. I’m willing to accept that I’m overthinking this and it was only a little push. So please talk some sense into me. I’ve been crying the whole day and my head hurts! Also, other then these 2 things he’s a good husband.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Am I in an emotionally abusive relationship???
Imaybeinanabusiverelationship · 15/01/2021 18:25
[quote Imaybeinanabusiverelationship]@TinaTurnoff
Please may I ask, what happened in your case? I’m feeling heartbroken today[/quote]
Where to start.
His income was his income. We didn’t run short by any stretch. There was money in my account each week, and I used it to pay for everything from groceries to utility bills to clothes to sports/ballet to gum shields to birthday presents to school contributions to kids slippers to tennis club membership and basically all the ‘costs’ that are both essential to all homes and extras that come with what I suppose you could call a middle class lifestyle. So, not short.
However, my ring-fenced amount meant I had no money to call my own, and in a household of >800k gross income, that inequity worried me. Four children. So we were in a situation where I ran the house comfortably on 4-5% of his gross income, but never saw the rest.
We would have a fairly non-fancy holiday (self catering), and 1-2 breaks away in nice places. He would pay, and these were always something I didn’t have to worry about or pay for.
NB I started a savings fund standing order every month out of my ‘income.’ *
If I requested extra, eg for my once a year weekend away with friends, it was granted. If I bought a pair of jeans for myself on Next online, it was ‘good for you, you deserve a little something.’ 
I was in charge of all household jobs, but in a ‘staff’ way. If something was not quite right in his eyes, it was my fault. The illuminating example was when I got pictures hung and they were at the wrong eye-line for the eight-inches-taller boss of the house.
When we separated (infidelity on his part), I remained in the family home but now have only the savings referred to * above. And I’ve used half of them on a solicitor. Not the intended aim.
I am back at work in approx 40% of my pre-children income with tiny increments each year.
OP, you sound really ground down - you shouldn't need to go begging for some new clothes, only for your husband to refuse you 
Read my earlier post, and start thinking longterm.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.