I don't get why he didn't just say no?

[bathsh3ba]

Will try not to drip feed. My ex and I separated six years ago, divorced two years ago. Have 2 children. He is autistic, diagnosed after we split up. Messy break up but these days we get on okay and co-parent pretty effectively.

In recent months I had started to reconsider whether we should try again. We are both different people to when we split up, more mature, more sensible. It would be a hell of a lot of work but maybe it would be worth a try. I haven't dated anyone recently and he hadn't mentioned dating anyone.

So I sent him an email (because that's usually the best way to bring up new topics with him, he finds it easier to process things that way) just saying how would he feel about opening a discussion on possibly reconciling.

Anyway, he took about a week to reply and basically he said 'Maybe. But I'm kind of seeing someone, it's not serious but I can't really think about it now.' And I don't get it. As far as I'm concerned, if he's seeing someone, however serious or not serious, he's off limits so that's that but it is bugging me that he didn't just say no. Am I missing something?

We each have our own homes and are settled and I made it clear I was opening a discussion, not inviting him back in to my home or bed. So I don't think he's trying to get the best of both worlds. Or is he just being literal in that he isn't saying it's never a possibility but it isn't now?

[LynetteScavo]

He said maybe because he's going to see how it works out with the person he just met. If it doesn't work out and you're still available he'll get back to you. I'm not sure why you're annoyed. If you went through all the effort and separating and divorcing why on earth get back together? Let him move on and find happiness elsewhere.

[PicsInRed]

"Messy" like you didn't speak, or messy like years of vicious family court battles?

[OldWomanSaysThis]

"Maybe" as in, "Maybe later if I can't do better."
So, live your life as if it's a No. You don't want to waste your life waiting for him to figure out if he can do better or not. If he does return, you know you are his last resort.
Had he wanted to return to you out of love, he would have dropped the new casual dating woman like a hot potato.

[Cheeseandwin5]

I don't understand why you are getting annoyed either and I am surprised those saying he is using you as a fall back.
You haven't dated for a while and in this moment of boredom have decided to give it another go with him?
He is seeing some one new, they wont have the history as you as well as the 2 children so off course he will be wondering if it would be better if you try again.
I think anyone would be throw by your suggestion and to be fair I think he has replied as honestly and properly as anyone could.