Possible new relationship - 55 miles apart

[missbunnyrabbit]

Situation is:

I don't have a lot of luck with love. I find it hard to meet people and I'm pretty picky.

It's VERY early days but I've met a very very sexy guy. We've had three dates and got more planned. All going well (fingers crossed). He's gorgeous, clever, has a car and a good job. He's pretty dreamy! I've never felt so attracted to anyone EVER. We're well-matched, same age (mid twenties), similar interests etc.

When lockdown started, he had to work from home so moved to live with his parents in a village about 20 mins from me. This works great.

HOWEVER, when his office reopens (whenever that will be, weeks or months) he will be moving back to the city, where he is looking to buy a house. This city is 55 miles away from me, about an hour in the car and nearly 2 hours by train.

I have my own house in my town and a job with another year's contract. No car. I'd want to stay here during the potential relationship, and I'd only want to move there if I was actually moving in with him. And if I got a job there, obviously.

Would you pursue this relationship? I'd love to be his girlfriend and he said being an hour's drive away won't be too bad. But I've never been in a LDR before. What would you do?

I know it's such early days to think about the future like this, but I feel like it needs to be considered ... no point pursuing something destined to fail.

[Bramblebear92]

1 hr is nothing. Even when I lived in the same city as my bf, it was over an hour to see him. To be fair, I lived on the edge of a huge city, and going to the centre always took nearly an hour, so I was pretty much used to it anyway

[mindutopia]

Absolutely, why not? Dh and I lived an 11 hour flight from each other until just before we got married when I finally moved to libe with him in the same country.

I commute more than 55 miles to work so seems like nothing to me.

[missbunnyrabbit]

Thanks all, really reassuring messages! 😁Just didn't want to waste time if it was going to end because of the distance.

[litterbird]

My partner lives 80 miles away, it isn't a problem for us. We work it out and spend quality time together when we see each other. I commute to work 55 miles away. This isn't a LDR. However, slow down a bit, you are only dating....take each date as it comes....please dont start building a future together and making dreams in your head as its such early days for you both. Concentrate on having a lovely time each date and leave it at that for now. Good luck though.

[ThirtyAndASmidgen]

I’m dating someone who lives a bit further away and it’s not an issue. Remember that men have literally started wars and disestablished the Church of England for women! If it’s meant to be, you’ll both make the effort.

[lonelySam]

I commute 2hr each way to work 3 times a week. 55 miles is not a LDR.

It will he fine - just wait and see how it goes.

[Andwoooshtheyweregone]

Like pp have said an hour is not LDR, I think you’re over thinking massively. If you like him just see how it goes.

[Oblomov20]

God yes. It's nothing. If he wants you long term, your'll work it out.

[ClaraEccles]

I may not be the right person to answer this (military wife who doesn’t accompany DH on postings) but 55 miles isn’t an LDR...

It’s an hour away... it’s nothing. Certainly not something to hang the future of a relationship on... or not...