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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

oh FECK. i said something stupid last night now DH is in a HUGE huff

25 replies

purplemonkeydishwasher · 15/09/2007 09:30

We were debating about politics in a half serious/half joking kind of way and I told him he is recist and sexist. (He's not)
my dad was in the room. I apologized a few hundred times.
Now DH's pride is hurt and he will barely even look at me.
(BJ out of the question because he won't let me get that close!)
ARGGGGGGGGG

OP posts:

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FluffyMummy123 · 15/09/2007 13:45

Message withdrawn

purplemonkeydishwasher · 15/09/2007 13:05

Cod - the BJ comment was joke.
obviously i should just stop talking altogether!

we've moved on from barely looking at me to looking at me in a disgusted way with slight head shake.

grrrreat.

OP posts:

Gobbledigook · 15/09/2007 12:15

..and TheNerdHerd is quite right, imo.

Gobbledigook · 15/09/2007 12:14

How does anyone know her dh is being unreasonable?

You know nothing about the conversation except that she called him racist and sexist.

Maybe she was totally unreasonable and maybe he has a right to be in a huff?

Maybe an apology isn't cutting it because he thinks this is what she really thinks of him.

Who knows. We know NOWT about the conversation.

morningpaper · 15/09/2007 12:11

agree cod

Wisteria · 15/09/2007 12:08

My dp would have seen it as a compliment if I'd called him sexist 'macho tag' like thing, hates being called racist but that's because his whole family is and he's not. It's not as though you called him an ugly fat twat is it?

He's being ridiculous, stop apologising and as others have said go out and ignore him - has he never ever said the wrong thing to you? Ever????

NotAnOtter · 15/09/2007 12:02

yes you are right actually
good job i never do

FluffyMummy123 · 15/09/2007 11:02

Message withdrawn

HorribleHorace · 15/09/2007 10:29

omg - i sincerely hope you are joking about offering a BJ because of what you said?

fgs, if he's not man enough to take a joke and accept an apology I wouldn't be offering him anything other than a kick up the arse

NotAnOtter · 15/09/2007 10:25

dp would forgive anything for oral action

StealthPolarBear · 15/09/2007 10:25

Have been thinking and I don't think my last post was right, you know him and presumably he isn't racist or you wouldn't be with him. In which case he should understand that you didn't mean it, have a small sulk and then get over it.
I'd be more worried about being called racist by people who know me less well.

NappiesGalore · 15/09/2007 10:24

think one would only get all ott huffy about it f it was a bit close to the bone tbh. if hes truly not either of those things, why doesnt he just shrug it off??

LIKE "how long will this huff last" q

Kathyis6incheshigh · 15/09/2007 10:24

That's crap, TheHerdNerd - we'd have said 'has he apologised?' The point here is that PMD has apologised like mad and that's not being accepted.

StealthPolarBear · 15/09/2007 10:24

yes i do that to dh
"let me know when we're talking again"
but then it backfires cos he says "ok" and carries on sulking - I always crack first!

FluffyMummy123 · 15/09/2007 10:21

Message withdrawn

StealthPolarBear · 15/09/2007 10:21

can kind of see where he's coming from, I would hate to be called racist, and don't really understand how you can do that in a jokey manner - can you give us a bit more of the context?
Sexist is different, I call my DH that all the time (last time was when he told me I had smaller feet so I could push the pram more easily ) I don't know why that's different - it just is!

NappiesGalore · 15/09/2007 10:16

actually, the more you apologise and grovel, the more it confirms that the comment really was terrible and bad and awful. when in fact it was an illjudged joke!

stop apologising. state calmly that it was an error of judement, you had no intention of hurting him and you are going to move on now. he is welcome to join you when hes finished sulking gotten over it too.

then go out for the day.

TheHerdNerd · 15/09/2007 10:14

Ha ha, brilliant - if this had been a bloke that called a woman racist/sexist in from of his dad, you would have all been "ooh, what are you doing with this loser? He's so insensitive. What a pig!"

Double standards up the YING YANG.

FluffyMummy123 · 15/09/2007 10:11

Message withdrawn

purplemonkeydishwasher · 15/09/2007 09:47

i think it's just that it was in front of my dad.
plus we're not very good at fighting. he goes in a huff, i cry. great fun had by all. which is why it very rarely happens.

OP posts:

stripeytiger · 15/09/2007 09:42

You can't really do anymore than apologise, so leave him to stew. Think he's being a bit childish to be honest.

Carmenere · 15/09/2007 09:40

You've apologised now leave it. You don't need to grovel. Go out for the day.

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FluffyMummy123 · 15/09/2007 09:39

Message withdrawn

edam · 15/09/2007 09:38

Oh dear. I can see why he's in a huff. But he should let you apologise. Hope he calms down soon.

cookiesandcream · 15/09/2007 09:34

Paint face with boot polish and then tell him to prove he's not sexist or racist by being nice to you again

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