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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

After a second date, during which you DTD, would you expect a text the next day, like by 11.30a. or not?

80 replies

newlifenewname · 09/09/2007 11:34

Just wondering because I may have just messed up I think. 2nd date shagging is the same as 1st isn't it really? Or maybe I'm paranoid...

OP posts:

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Dior · 10/09/2007 18:46

Message withdrawn

lou33 · 10/09/2007 18:45

i think getting older means you have more reason to act like a kid

39andcounting · 10/09/2007 18:44

March 15th for me next year, oh shit !

Does this mean I need to be behaving like a mature and responsible adult ?

If so, then I quit !

lou33 · 10/09/2007 18:00

god i am closer to 41 than 40 now

NotAnOtter · 10/09/2007 17:48

love your name 39!!!
me too - infact ONE MONTH EXACTLY for me!!!

39andcounting · 10/09/2007 17:42

KerryMum............. Do you mind, just having a much earned chilled glass of something alcoholic, read your last thread and nearly choked.

Very funny and completely agree.

persephonesnape · 10/09/2007 14:06

apologies for cod-grade typing. I'm sure you got what i meant, but Kerry mum put it a bit more succintly than I.

NAB3 · 10/09/2007 13:52

Finally caught up

Beetroot · 10/09/2007 13:39

when will we learn

don't text him just don't.

He needs to do the chasing. He needs to give you loads of sattention - put the phone down, and geton with your life. Ignore him if he calls, ignore his texts for at least 24 hours

jellybelly25 · 10/09/2007 13:36

nlnn i think it is normal to be paranoid about this, its far more unusual for someone to be so self confident that they are not worried about how the other person really feels at the possible beginning of 'something'... I cannot think of one of my girlfriends (inc me) who did not agonise over frequency/gap between texts/who text who first... Should I just call? Should I wait a little longer before jumping into bed? It's pathetic and stupid but we all do it.
If he has decided to scarper after dtd then he's a git, but at least you had some good sex. Can't win 'em all. And I disagree with big confidence issues, even if they do exist, it's not her fault if he treats her like poo is it?!
If he's just busy/also trying not to appear too keen, lol, great!

KerryMum · 10/09/2007 13:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

persephonesnape · 10/09/2007 13:26

stop. texting. him. just. stop!!

you gave it up, he'll maybe see you next weekend because he knows he can probably get more of the same. people are NOT hnestas far as relationships go and bearing in mind that tehy are not I would very respectfully suggest that you do NOT text him again and if/when he gets in contact with you for some 'fun' this weekend say you have to go and visit family with your children or somesuch and then GO somewhere with your childrebn. you are tying yourself in knots. it's easily done, but listen to just about everyone who has taken the time to post on your thread(s) and please don't text him again.

duke748 · 10/09/2007 10:18

You said....

'Um, I feel fat and I have historically had no problem going to bed with men because I am quite sexy without trying (I don't think so but I have been told I am and that I need to work on this if I want more than sex) but I have a shitty history as far as relationships go.'

and that worries me.

Every woman has 'fat days' and that really is about self confidence. Not many people think that they have the perfect body, so the rest of us just have to deal with it the best way possible, and that is a lot to do with self confidence.

And, not to shatter your illusions, but pretty much any woman on the planet could walk into a bar and find a man willing to have sex with her. That's just the way it works. Its finding a guy who is worthy of you and the right guy for you that is the hard bit.

If you want to change how people see you, then think about the way you dress and carry yourself and what you speak about. These are the things that people make a decision about you based on. And they are also the things that you can control.

And eveyone has shitty relationships. But they are in the past, its now that counts. Don't push this guy away and prove yourself right!!!!

lou33 · 10/09/2007 09:44

i think it's very normal tbh

newlifenewname · 10/09/2007 09:33

Thanks lou, I think all 3 apply!

OP posts:

lou33 · 10/09/2007 09:31

maybe because you had sex and it reminded you how much you liked it?

maybe because if it isnt going to go any further you want to be the one to decide that?

it never feels good when you think you have been used, i hope he gets in touch and you work it out

newlifenewname · 10/09/2007 09:28

He hasn't texted or called again after my reply. So, I did send a text around 8pm just saying I had had a little sleep and was feeling awake again and dancing to some good music....

Nothing.

It is utterly possible he is busy, mulling things over or playing it cool but I feel very negative about it. Wish I didn't do this.

Am going off the rails as I decided to send a text that had been sat in my drafts folder for weeks to my 'man from funeral upon whom I have a crush'.

I like being single so why the chuffing hell have I suddenly got all desperate?

OP posts:

NurseyJo · 09/09/2007 21:10

This reply has been deleted

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NAB3 · 09/09/2007 20:44

My mistake. Why text someone to say you didn't enjoy having sex with them, if you did? It makes no sense.

newlifenewname · 09/09/2007 20:10

And Nab, I didn't say I didn't shag him I said I didn't like it I loved it

OP posts:

newlifenewname · 09/09/2007 20:09

Um, I feel fat and I have historically had no problem going to bed with men because I am quite sexy without trying (I don't think so but I have been told I am and that I need to work on this if I want more than sex) but I have a shitty history as far as relationships go.

OP posts:

NurseyJo · 09/09/2007 20:06

This reply has been deleted

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NAB3 · 09/09/2007 20:00

Why the game playing? He seems to like you. you like him. Grow up and stop acting silly!

NAB3 · 09/09/2007 19:59

Why text someone to say you didn't have sex with them if you did? No wonder he hadnt texted you!

PeterDuck · 09/09/2007 19:58

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