I have messed up with my friend

[BellendSebastian]

I have a brilliant friend of 10 years. She is really kind, supportive etc etc. I am bi but never told her this and it didn't matter because both of us are in happy forever relationships and have kids.

Anyway a year or so ago I realised I was falling for her in more than a friendship way, it got really difficult for me to be with her so I started to distance myself a few months ago as much as I had really wanted to be with her.

Recently I am sure she has realised this and seems as though she might be hurt, a couple of comments about me having moved on or been bored of the friendship (said in a jokey way).

I don't think it would be right to explain why I have been distancing myself but also feel like she probably thinks I'm being a bitch.

Any advice would be great, I'm lost as to how to handle these things.

[BellendSebastian]

Oh and Lex234 that is also very helpful way of saying it

[Lex234]

Good luck OP! Hope it goes well

[cultkid]

No don't tell her you don't need to burden her with that

[LancashireHotshot]

Yuck, I feel your pain OP.

I have a massive and totally futile crush on a friend/colleague. She is straight and married. I am openly gay. I tried to distance myself because it was starting to hurt, but have drifted back to regular contact. It is really hard because of the work element.

I really can't see how your predicament can have a happy ending. Either you fight back your feelings and endure a friendship with this unspoken element to it, which I think will end up being unbearably painful, or you disclose how you are feeling and acknowledge that this will probably be the end of the friendship. The latter might help you get some closure though.

[BellendSebastian]

I saw my friend today. I brought lunch round and apologised for being distant. Didn't mention anything about fancying her or being bi.
I will just give this another go being friends because she is a lovely person. If it doesn't work I'll tell her why.