Husband not coping.

[Superladygurl]

We found our a year ago that our baby has cerebral palsy. He is now 20 months old. He will Walk but it's going to be a long road. My husband has not been to one appt and can't accept what is happening. On Friday I asked him for the last week so he could prepare to come to a physio appt. when the time came he refused to go. I am now at the stage where I'm loosing respect for him. I am dealing with it emotionally all by myself. We also have two other children of 6 and 4. I feel like a single parent. He keeps saying he never asked for this and I feel like leaving him. Really need advice.

[CoyoteCafe]

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Having a special needs child is very, very hard on relationships. Marriage counseling could be helpful.

I have a DD with autism, and my DH and I dealt with it in very different ways. Her autism has been the most difficult force in our relationship, and yet also was such a motivation to keep trying. How are your other children doing? It effects the entire family.

CP is a massive spectrum. How is your son doing on his other milestones? I used to teach special education, and my all time favorite student had CP. I would have taken him home and kept him if they had let me.

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

That is terrible. Your poor family, having someone as selfish and thoughtless living with them.

If you think he has a problem with depression, then perhaps guide him to his GP? If you think it's his character that's making him act like this, then I think you'd all be better off without him.

[Iris65]

I am so sorry that things are difficult. It sounds as if your husband really needs to talk to someone about his feelings regarding your third child. I would guess that there are support organisations for parents of children with CP and they would provide help.
In effect, you are a single parent, so there is no surprise that you feel so abandoned. Have you sat down with him to talk about what is happening, including the trauma of having a child with a diagnosis of CP? If not you could arrange a babysitter and go out for an evening of just the two of you.
If your parents and parents in law are alive perhaps you could speak to them and ask them what they think and whether they could have a chat with him?
I am certain that he is feeling a sense of loss, of failure, of fear and of being alone too - not that this justifies his behaviour.

[Oleanderrules]

He sounds like he’s finding it hard to process / deal with . Have you or he been offered any counselling or support ? Don’t do anything rash like leaving him although O totally understand why you feel like this